Keep the relationship alive after having a baby

Jul 10, 2021 | Live, Only Berlin

How to keep a relationship alive after having a baby

Having a baby and raising him can be overwhelming. Add to the lack of sleep, the demands of your little guy could trigger you to go berserk.

It is no surprise then that you may struggle and, at times, forget your responsibilities as a spouse. If you can’t fully function as one, how about insert a few of these simple, sweet gestures into your daily routine? These may help keep your relationship strong even after you become a parent.

Act with warmth

You could tolerate your baby’s tantrums and cries. You lullaby him back to sleep and even sing to him. But when your partner snaps at you, you suddenly burst with anger. If you could act with warmth towards your little one, how about extending the same kindness and understanding to your spouse? Indeed that simple act of tenderness would be reciprocated with the same compassion.

Avoid direct criticism

There are instances you would feel so exhausted and fed up to the point of breaking out. Express your frustration calmly and avoid direct criticism. It is better to be specific about your concern and not leave your partner clueless about what frustrates you. Lines like “I am feeling so much pressure. I would appreciate it if you take care of the baby today as I catch on more sleep” is better than “You are so insensitive! All you do is sleep and do not even bother to stand up whenever the baby cries at night!”

Be a spouse

You were a spouse first before being a parent. You love to cuddle up close to your partner every bedtime before. You are still a wife or husband, only that you’ve got a little one to tend to. But it doesn’t give you the excuse not to function as one. Being a parent can be overwhelming, but life would be worth living if you also give in to your indulgence of seeking romance and act as a needy partner.

Be a lover

The same goes with being a lover and not a parent. Stop the nagging and be more like a lover, just like you were before being a spouse. If you find your husband, for instance, not acting like a man, then encourage him to stand as one by treating him like a man. Give the respect he needs and never look down on him.

Be generous with a compliment

It won’t hurt your ego if you compliment your partner once in a while. Everyone loves compliments, especially if given by someone very dear to us. You may commend your husband as a snappy dresser. Or how about being vocal to your wife on how delicious the chicken casserole was.

Complete each other

Now that you have a tiny human with you, it is wise to work together as a team. Ditch the scoreboard on who works more. Instead of competing, complete each other. Remember, if one loses, both of you lose. Be each other’s wingman, cheerleader, and biggest fan.

Hold hands

You used to hold hands a lot. But with a baby in tow, sometimes your hands are busy pushing that stroller or carrying the baby. Still, no one hinders you from linking those arms or holding the other hand. Keep that sweet gesture as a practice. That simple act alone will make you feel happier and more loved.

Make Love

Having a child does not mean you already graduated making love with your spouse. Intimacy is vital to any marriage, and sex is what unites a couple in ways beyond physical. More than the physical connection, lovemaking opens the door of hope, love, and faith.

Make time

Funny that you still have that time to tend to your garden despite your busy schedule and even sit for about 30 minutes to watch a favorite tv program. You make time for each household chores because you deem them necessary. If you could spare minutes or hours for each task, you can also have the time for a real romantic encounter. You used to love dating, so why not make and find time to date each other. It may take two to three hours of your time each month or bimonthly to be husband and wife.

Give gifts or surprises

It won’t hurt the budget if you surprise your spouse with gifts, from time to time One timeless gift, for instance, is a piece of stunning jewelry that would surely make your loved one feel appreciated. For example, the pieces at J’s Diamond are a gift of love with a timeless sparkle. J’s Diamond has a wide array of 18K gold engagement rings, bracelets, earrings, necklaces, wedding rings, and GIA diamonds that exude tasteful style and elegance. 

To immortalize once more the moment of love and bliss, J’s Diamond invites you to the virtual launch of its fourth flagship store at the Ground Level of Ayala Malls Trinoma on July 10, 2021. The new boutique exhibits a classy, contemporary vibe, designed to represent the extraordinary craftsmanship of J’s Diamond, truly world-class on its own.

Say I love you more

Mornings can be dragging or busy; either you’re still in bed trying to catch more sleep because the baby wailed all night, or you’re up early to prepare breakfast. Suppose your husband leaves for work, how about sending him a real lip lock. Follow it with “I am more in love with you” line. You wouldn’t imagine how that simple act would bring so much inspiration for your man to work hard.

Seize the moment

Even if you’re watching some television program at home, express your appreciation to your partner. Cuddle up or hold hands. Or how about play footsie? It is in those quiet moments that you feel relaxed with the baby in bed so take full advantage of life’s opportunities whenever they present themselves. It is only but seldom that the baby is quiet after all.

Never give up

Remember how you encourage your child to never give up on catching his dreams. The same goes with your marriage. For a marriage to survive, you need to give, learn, and grow. It is about choosing each other again and believing in the love that started it all. Never give up on trials and problems. Refuse to think that insurmountable situations are permanent.

Keep the relationship alive after having a baby

They say that the happiest children come from a home where their parents act with and speak about love. Be a model to your children that despite the pressure of managing a family, the spark love brings is still alive.

Marriage is a commitment. To keep the fire alive, allow even the simplest opportunity to fall in love with your spouse over and over again. After all, you both decided to live and build a family together not because of your desire to have children alone. You married one another because you share and believe in the same love.

Momi Berlin Directory

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  1. Abe Macion Amz

    Wow..worth reading ito momi..Thank you for sharing this..Kailangan po talaga sa mag partner give and take..magtulungan at maniwala sa isat-isa at sympre dapat andun yung inlove parin kayo sa isat-isa..

  2. Roselle Rubi

    Very true momi. Nung unang sama din namin ng asawa ko and i gave birth sa eldest ko, ang hirap mag adjust. Yung atensyon ko lagi nasa baby lang at nawawalan ako ng time kay hubby, but si mister ang lawak ng pag unawa niya. sobrang thankful ako kasi meron akong asawa na sobrang mauuwanain. Siya nagbalik ng confidence ko (kasi nawala yun, since nanganak ako) tinulungan ako ng asawa ko. At the same time i give it back to him din. Kapag sleep si eldest dun bebe time na hehe, salitan kami sa pagbantay kay eldest lalo na sa gabi. kasi gising si eldest kapag gabi. Nung medyo malaki laki na si eldest we starting date ulit, minsan kasama si baby. Kahit sa tapsilogan lang, sobrang saya na. And communication is the key talaga. Importanteng nag uusap kayo mag asawa, kapag may problema or tampuhan, palamigin muna bawat isa tapos usap. Huwag matutulog na may sama ng loob sa bawat isa. ❤️❤️❤️

  3. demsen nailga

    thank you momi berlin for sharing this. ngayon bumabalik na yung moment namin ng asawa ko. malalaki na kasi mga bata. nung maliliit pa sila dun talaga na focus attention namin.

  4. Roxanne Dela Peña

    Ay mommy ganyan din ako, madalas mainit ulo ko dahil sa pagod sa maghapon na kakakilos at alaga ng anak, kaya pag naglalambing si LIP minsan sobrang naiinis ako, wala na ko time sa kanya. Sobra po ko nahirapan mag adjust lalo na nung una, pero sobrang salamat po dito sa mga tips niyo momi. Ipapabasa ko din to sa asawa ko 🙂

  5. Dhel Manog

    Sobrang gaganda at malaking tulong sa mga mag asawa netong tips na binigay mo momi Berlin,yes po ako po nong isa pa lang baby namin naranasan ko po yong feeling na parang napabayaan ko si mister ko kasi yon nga po yong buong atensyon ko at pag aalaga ay nasa baby namin,yong hindi na ako nagkaroon ng time sa kanya,pero narealize ko po na hindi pala dapat ganon.Buti nga po talaga masyadong malawak ang pag unawa ni mister ko kaya naintindihan nya po.Siya nalang po talaga yong gumagawa ng mga way para magkaroon kami ng time dalawa,thankful po na meron akong katulad nya.Ngayon po talaga mas nagiging extra sweet ako/kami sa isat isa kahit may 2 kids na kami,yong sa isang araw ay di pedeng hindi mag i love you always po talaga naming sinasabi sa isat isa ang i love you ,mahal kita ,yong kahit sa texts lang.Sa mag asawa talaga need talaga ang pagkakaroon ng oras sa isat isa like po kami simula noon kahit gaano pa karami ang problema at mga gawain may time kami ni mister ko magloving loving or harutan,yong yakap yakap while watching a movie.Yong magkasamang pupunta sa palengke or mag grocery tapos holding hands..Simple lang pero ito yong pinaka sweet ng paraan para maiparamdam nyo sa isat isa yong pagmamahalan ,yong oras sa isat isa.Syempre hindi rin dapat mawala yong pagbuy ng gifts mamahalin man o mumurahin ang importante kasi buong puso mo itong binigay para sa kanya..Ay usapang gifts ang gagandang pang gift naman po ng mga accessories ng J’s Diamond lalo na po ying ring..

  6. Owen ponce

    Super bet ko ung ,be a spouse and a lover ! All these are perfect, wonderful time to achieve harmonious relationship with sparks !

  7. Julie Suba

    Agree with you momsh, Salamat po sa mga tips na ito. Malaking tulong po ito sa amin. Lalo na at halos karamihan ng mag asawa ay nararanasan po ito. Naranasan din po namin ito ng aking mister lalo na nung maliliit pa mga anak namin, na sa pagaalaga palang sa kanila ay wala na kaming oras para sa isat isa. Ngayon mas sweet at mas close po kami ng asawa ko, dahil talagang naglalaan kami ng oras sa isat isa. Nakakatulong din po tlga ang pagbibigay ng mga gifts sa bawat isa. At ang love language.

  8. Karen

    Maganda talaga na may time tayo bilang asawa sa ating hubby at time sa ating mga anak need din po natin paminsan minsan ang oras at pagmamahal s ating pamilya pagbibigay ng gift o pagsurprise the way para mapakita natin ang ating pagmamahal s kanila

  9. Maribel Cordovilla

    I love this blog and at the same time nakakarelate ako dahil,, having a kid is not a struggle indeed it’s a big responsibility for having a family. And one more thing na hndi ko. Makakalimutan ay ang pagkakaroon mg intimate time with my hubby paminsan minsan. Kelangan tlga sa ismg pagsasama ang pagkakarom ng time for each other kahit na minsan palaging nakatabi si bunso sa higaan.. Every Anniversary well make sure n may gift kami sa is at is a kahit na hndi ganun kaexpensive ang importante naalala mabigyan ang isat isa. Most of the time kaoag matutulog saka lng kami nagkakaron ng time magkaholding hands habang natutulog. Yun ang endearment habbit namin ni hubby. Thanks for sharing this mommy. Siguro kapag yumaman kami jewelrys na ang gift namin sa. Isat isa..

  10. jennifer sarno cruz

    super agree sa mga tips nyo momi para sa akin mahalaga talaga ang open communication sa isang relasyon para nalalaman nyo kung saan na kayo ngkukulang upang mapunuuan ito.

  11. Lovelyn Joy Lacorte

    Always be a lover like before kahit may anak na. Having dates and surprise gift


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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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