I live in a small house with five boys. Life can be real crazy at times. Sometimes, too, life is just a bed of roses.
Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from my son’s school. And the one on the other line was the school nurse. Then I was transferred to the school physician. It happened a number of times already. Yet phone calls like this still makes me shiver.
School accident 1: March 21, 2017; PE time
My second son was playing basketball with his classmates. He caught the ball, but his classmate accidentally hit him near his left eye. My son fell, and his eyeglasses shattered cutting through his left eyelid. He was immediately brought to the school clinic and given first aid. Though small, the laceration was deep enough to cause massive bleeding. Eventually, though, the wound stopped bleeding because of a blood clot. The school doctor advised me that I bring my son to the hospital for a proper suture.
School accidents, who’s to blame?
School Accident 2: October 2011; School Foundation Day
I was in a roundtable discussion with doctors and media when I got a call from a school personnel. My second son fell from a monkey bar.
My young man had broken bones, and the orthopedic surgeon recommended performing closed reduction on his forearm. Unfortunately, the procedure was not successful. The doctor scheduled for an operation, opened my son’s skin, and affixed three pieces of metal screw to align his fractured bones. It was his first surgery.
My second child was in a cast for months and learned to use his left hand to survive. We often joked around that time that we have a little Wolverine in the family.
School accidents, who’s to blame?
School Accident 3: November 2015; Science class
I just came from a baking shop. I bought a few ingredients for the cake I was planning to make for the boys. Then I got a call from one school personnel. My Big Bunso needed a trip to the hospital’s emergency room. He was being playful and stuck a pencil lead up his nose.
My third boy is naturally inquisitive. Usually, he displays his curiosity by asking questions. He also loves exploring the world around him.
It was during one Science class. His teacher was rechecking test papers, and my son was again curious and playful. He already did it once when he inserted a crayon in his nose. He was able to remove the crayon easily. That unfaithful day, he was playing with his mechanical pencil. He tried to place it into his nose and never thought the danger of any serious injury and infection.
After minutes of trying to remove the object inside his nose but to no avail, he requested to be excused. He went straight to the school clinic and approached the school doctor. That was when I got the call.
School accidents, who’s to blame?
Perhaps there were more than a dozen calls I got from the boys’ school for years. Most of them though were usually about minor bump or tumble accidents caused by the negligence of students or because kids are just kids.
Sadly, accidents at school are a common occurrence. I would like to assume that most of these incidents are not because of the school’s negligence, though. But husband told me once that all accidents are preventable. We create accidents to happen.
- Because we prefer to play dirty than play fair and with caution
- Because no guidance from instructors or teachers on not wearing eyeglasses during contact sports, for instance.
- Or students and teachers are well-informed of the rules and policies yet prefer to ignore them
- Because of lack of proper judgment
- Or because we are not attentive and extra cautious of our movements
Then I remember it clearly. Husband learned from one accident involving our one-year-old.
He prepared coffee, put it on his table, and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich. Then he heard our son’s cry. He blamed himself for our boy’s scald injuries. He simply ignored to put his cup of coffee at a safe distance from our boy whose mobility and curiosity increases every day.
So again, who’s to blame?
For a school, may the kid’s injury came from an activity they were doing or the state of the environment, the school board is responsible.
For this mother, though, I would like to echo what Martin Luther King, Jr. once said.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
I would rather exert my effort to show how much I love and care for my boys than hate, argue with, and blame anyone else.
Looking at the bright side, I was able to “date” my young man after our hospital visit.
I hope all moms think like you!
Accidents really do happen, but it’s not an excuse to be negligent. And while accidents are ouchy (ouchier for parents, actually), I believe that it’s a part of children’s life. In fact, I would pity any child who doesn’t have any battle scars! I have lots on my knees (hehe)–and I hated them–but now when I look at them, I pity my son and his makinis legs, for I remember how happy I was to have experienced climbing trees, running and getting dirty every weekend and summer. I’d have that kind of childhood over flawless legs.
Love your philosophy as well. Got a number of scars as well and they indeed remind me of my childhood.
Wow! You are a mom for 5 kids & appreciate your personal sharing of bringing them up with some accidents. Enjoyed reading your sharing & glad that you are a good & understanding mom to your kids. I learnt a lot from your sharing here, no matter how bad a situation, do train ourself to see the good stuff in every situations.
Cheers, Siennylovesdrawing
I believe that accidents should be part of a child’s life because every single thing that happens to us when we are little is a lesson well learned, even if we learn it the hard way. If there were no accidents how would we learn about dangerous and how to protect ourselves? Probably the next time your child won’t play basketball with his glasses on, and your other child won’t put his pencil up his nose. Because now they know what can happen. So I think that there is some good in accidents and nobody should be blamed for this type of things, as they are just lessons.
We cant avoid accidents.They will happen.But,as parents we can always take precautions to avoid accidents.I remember few times that my kid fell down from the bed (when he was really few months old) although I was too attentive on him.Though I felt guilty for these incidents,I know that I did the best which I could do.Anyway,it is scary to hear about such experiences.I can imagine your feelings as a mom!
I saw younger self in your big bunso’s curiosity. I remember playing with the plastic envelope a bank gave me then I was able to take out the zipper (plastic also) and play with it. I don’t know what came to me but I tried sticking it in my nose too. I couldn’t remove it because I had colds that day too. So my aunts rushed me to the nearest clinic to have me checked and remove the zipper. Then, I remember the doctor scolding them or reprimanding them of being mindful with things lying around especially if there’s a youngster around. Indeed with accidents, pointing fingers is hard. But, we must all know to be precautious with our surroundings and be sensitive enough to the people around. I just hope your boys will be more careful as to not injure themselves anymore.
I admire you for looking at the bright side inside of figuring out who exactly is to blame. You’re right, that doesn’t help at all. This actually reminds me of the seminar we had with Smart Parenting, kids learn by experience, so I agree with Maine – accidents are inevitable. Most of all, don’t blame yourself. Cheer up na, i-Caffera na yan! ♥
Wow sis, may binatilyo ka na pala 🙂
You are a very positive mom, Thanks for sharing this post, this is very helpful for a newbie mom like me.
I agree with what other moms said, that’s how children learn “danger” and “being extra careful” next time & those accidents will make their childhood extra-memorable 🙂
I have my fair share of accidents with my kids. Specially with Zam my third child. She is super playful and hyper. I can actually count the times I rushed her to the hospital because of injuries. Oh well, as a Mom, I don’t want her to get injured. Kahit galos ayaw ko. Kaya lang there are circumstances that you can’t control. Super agree with Martin Luther King, Jr. Apir tayo dyan! Hahaha!
Accidents are bound to happen at any time so I’m really psyching myself now if ever my little gets involved in an accident. I like the way you think and deal with the accidents that happened to your kids. Luckily, my little daughter has never figured in an accident yet and I think we trained her well to get up when she falls and not to cry. However, we can only prepare so much and when it really happens is an entirely different ballgame. I guess we will cross the bridge when we get there.
First, sorry to hear about what happened to your children in school. I think the school has responsibilities to each students under their jurisdiction, but I can’t blame anyone though because I’ve experienced a lot of accident when I was still in Elementary. Anyway, you’ve said it right, nothing to blame, we just have to spread understanding and love. Anyway, children will truly learn from what they have experienced.
I quite enjoy reading the stories of your family and upbringing and watching your boys grow through your posts. There are many sayings that go around “boys will be boys” “S*** happens” and the French saying hat I think that is the most relevant “C’est la vie” (such as life)
We will never be perfect. We will always make mistakes. I think what is important is that your boys enjoy life, even if they get a few cuts along the way.
Wow! you really are a supermom. bringing up kids is not that easy. Though the school has the responsibility with students especially if they’re in school grounds, but I do appreciate your positivity side.
I hope your young man is ok now. As for who’s to blame, a question pops in my mind. If the child excused his self and went to the restroom (because he asked for it) and in reality he did not go to the place he stated and just toured around the campus , and an accident happened like falling into the stairs, etc, will the school be blamed again?
Honestly, I noticed that teachers have always been the target of every blame game in the school which is kinda sad. Our government has sadly put-out teachers’ rights in disciplining the students.
Oh well, your husband got a point. But on the other hand, cases like you have mentioned in this post, if we will put the blame to the school, we will surely get a serious argument by then. However, I like how you see things in a different way, a brighter side perhaps. I just hope that all moms have that mindset. 🙂
Wow, what a great mom you are! Accidents are really bound to happen and in accidents, no one ever wanted what has happened. I really love how you can think positively over these kind of things, and I can actually remember my mother. <3 You are both loving, and understanding. 🙂
This is an interesting topic, though I already have a bias. I think accidents are part of growing up. You can’t really blame the school, because kids are by nature accident prone. Blaming the school all the time for accidents happening within their area won’t help the kid growing up I think. It will create a sense of entitlement and lack of accountability.
Accidents happen. No one can avoid that no matter how extra careful we are. And no one’s to blame. Not even the school. It’s part of growing up. It’s part of the child’s learning. Let’s just pray that when accident happen, it’s nothing too serious.