How to love yourself more

Feb 7, 2019 | Life, Live, Love, Only Berlin

Momi Reflects How to Love Self More

How to love yourself more

Again, I texted my best friend to complain. I know she can be real patient with me; thus she’s the only one I ran to when I need a shoulder to cry on. As always, she would express complete disapproval of the person.

Yesterday, though, was different.

Better to accept him for what he is than what you hope he would be. Less pain that way. Sometimes, our unmet expectations only cause us more pain. Just love yourself more.

Those were her words.

And I couldn’t thank her enough for letting me realize that I have been so unfair to the other person all those years.

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. – Jimmy Dean

Not that I want him to change. I just expect him to be the person I want him to be. Only that he can’t be that person because he was never that person. The whole process of hating just drove me crazy, almost destroying my relationship with him. Or my disappointed to him ruined it already.

Just this morning, I again had a not so pleasant chat conversation with him. I stopped answering as I don’t want to ruin both our days. Then he ended his message with, “why not see the good in me.”

What my friend advised me echoed in my head again. I can’t change people, so I shouldn’t drive myself crazy trying. Instead, I need to change how I deal with them or stay away from them if I can. I need to opt for the first one.

When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are. – Donald Miller

Or when I expect nothing from them, then there will never be a disappointment.

Reflecting on this made me realize that I am my own worst enemy. If only I stop expecting and wishing impossible perfection, then I will find the happiness and contentment that has always eluded me.

How to love yourself more

How to love yourself more

The only prayer I need to say then is to give me the wisdom and strength to accept and love people as they are. So help me, Lord.


  1. pchipeach

    I loved those quote. Iba tlga ung meron kang natatakbuhan if may problema, and i admired those people na pag nag bigay ng payo e ndi lang pumapanig sa isang side. I Salute ur bestfriend mommy.

  2. Maria leo nila

    Very well said mahirap tlga mag expect ang sakit, pero minsan di nmn tlga maiwasan na umaasa db? Minsan kasi pag nag expect ka di lang basta expect naghohope ka din but thats life. We have to accept reality na meron expectation na nakukuha meron hindi

  3. Chin Enriquez

    I am soooooo guilty of this 🙁 lagi akong nagi-expect sa tao. Like, dapat ganito ka, dapat ganun ka… dapat gawin mo toh, dapat gawin mo yun… napaka expectant ko. I dont see the good. OR…. MAYBE…. i see the good, kaso its not enough to live the life I desired. Kaya I tend to ask for more. Example, masipag sya sa gawaing bahay…. wow very good partner! Kaso tamad magtrabaho… very bad.. right?

  4. Camille Crudo


  5. Michi (@michisolee)

    As William Shakespeare say, “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. It is true so I’m trying my best not to expect from people but it is so hard not to expect especially from the people we love noh? This is also my reminder, I need to start accepting and stop expecting.

  6. Fully Housewifed! (@fullyhousewifed)

    What I tell myself is that people are only humans. They will always end up hurting us no matter who they are. But Jesus will never disappoint us.

    Yes, we cannot change people, but we can change the way we respond to them. And if we are abused, we can put an end to it. It’s always a choice. But we also need to make sure we make these decisions when we are not emotional because we tend to end relationships that truly matter to us when we’re driven by strong emotions.

  7. journeyofthevees

    This is so true Momi. We shouldn’t expect more from others especially from our better half. We cannot force people to be someone who we want them to be. Noone is same/equal with anybody. Let us learn to listen and maybe adjust for each other. And always pray for a peaceful relationship.

    Sometimes I wonder how do I really love myself? Don’t I do? 🙂

  8. Mommy Anna

    Same here sis, we should not expect them to change kasi yun sila talaga same with us. But you are right we have to love ourself first so we can give more love and understandting sa iba



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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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