How Not to Hate People

Jan 18, 2019 | Life, Only Berlin

How not to hate people

This mother attended a Buddhist class a few days before Christmas last year. I got attracted to Buddha’s teachings when my best buddy would, from time to time, share her learnings and a few Buddha sayings.

I have no intention to change religion.  This mom though wants to understand and experience some of Buddha’s teachings. I see myself changing the way I look at myself and the world after having a deeper understanding of Buddhism. As many Buddhists have found one of the keys to happiness is not giving in to the impulses of anger, I imagine myself finding peace once I learn that, too.

I have to admit there are a few people I dislike. Reflecting on this anger, I have come to realize that my hatred is rooted from fear and sometimes, selfishness and envy. Now, having been enlightened how Buddha did things, I am somehow aware of my insecurities and slowly, working on to conquer anger by non-anger.

[tweetshare tweet=”Conquer anger with non-anger. Conquer badness with goodness. Conquer meanness with generosity. Conquer dishonesty with truth.” username=”SPk3(ad*e(5d4@pEwem@tnlADFb9ZZc8:1:1″]

First, let me share that Buddha was not a god nor a prophet. He was Buddha Gautama, a man like any other who discovered a way of achieving true wisdom. Through this discovery, he was able to live his life full of compassion and free from suffering. And those who followed him and are still following him now enjoy a rather peaceful life.

How not to hate people

How not to hate people

How not to hate people

People think, act, and speak the way they do because of what they have been through or what they are experiencing. They are rude, for example, because they went through a tough day perhaps. Or they got bullied at school when they were in their teens. That incident made them strong and unforgiving. And now that they are old enough, their defense mechanism against bullying is to show indifference or hostility.

Now, it is on us to react. We may opt to get hurt, be defensive, and ultimately hate the persons hurting us. Or we may decide to show compassion and understand where they are coming from. If we can’t love, at least show a little care.

With care, we may be mindful to pause first before reacting to their rude behavior. Then instead of defending our battered ego, we do the opposite of what they did to us. And it would be helpful to be consistent.

[tweetshare tweet=”Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again and you will be filled with joy.” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]

With a heart full of joy, you will not anymore entertain any hatred or doubt but only that positive goal to spread love and compassion.

Sooner than later, they will realize that instead of being defensive and throwing hatred just the way they did first, you did the opposite. Their guards will drop. Though not outright, but it will – slowly. And when that comes, you might have earned a new best friend.


  1. Mommy Levy

    awwww, thanks for sharing this. I need this advice right now. At sakto pa kasi si Ren sabi kagabi bago kami matulog pag adult na sya mag Buddhist daw sya kasi gusto nya magpunta sa Japan. I asked him to explain why but he can’t, I told him to do some research first before jumping into a decision.

  2. rollcoastermom

    I love Buddha’s teachings. I can super relate to it now because my One Word for the year is MINDFUL, which I believe is also part of Buddhism.

  3. playfullifewithkids

    I haven’t really read on Buddha or his teachings but this sparked my curiosity. Minsan ang hirap lang not to hate on people kasi tayo din ang miserable at the end of it diba.

  4. Michi (@michisolee)

    It is difficult not to hate people especially if they did something to you. Maraming inhale and exhale ito before expressing your feelings at baka sa inis mo, ano pa masabi o magawa mo.

  5. Amethystine (@Amethystine)

    I showed my son a video on how to defeat bullies. It’s similar to what you wrote. If they do you harm, you do the opposite and eventually they’ll stop. I think it’s what we need in the world right now. Thanks for sharing mommy!

  6. Chin Enriquez

    I can’t unhate few people I know. Hehe I just cant. I have tried dropping it and just forgetting but these certain people I know just keep on coming back and would keep on doing things that would make me hate them all over again.

  7. Divine Labbuanan-Cabral

    Thank you dito mommy!!!
    Dapat talaga love love love!!!



  1. How to love yourself more | MOMI BERLIN - […] only prayer I need to say then is to give me the wisdom and strength to accept and love…

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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