I left our house four months ago. I brought with me our one-year-old and three-year-old boys. I also asked our two older boys if they wanted to go with me. They said yes. Our second son wasn’t home that day, so we left without him. We stayed at my mom’s house. And we are still at my mother’s house at present.
Though my older children understand that their parents somehow have broken their marriage commitment, they remain mum about it. They never questioned their parents’ actions and decisions.
Sometimes, our three-year-old cries “papa” and so his brothers would bring him to the other house. There are times, too, that our third child would ask permission to sleep at his father’s place. He would tell me he misses his papa and so I allow him. There are instances, too, that our second boy would sleep with us; he perhaps misses his mom and four brothers. He also opened up to me one day that he will remain with his dad; not because he doesn’t love us but because his papa needs him.
I must say, our boys were able to adjust to the daily absence of one parent and to all other challenging family set up we put them into. They were able to adjust going back and forth between two different households. They never complain and never lose hope.
The undying hope
I, too, am a hopeful person. Our differences and misunderstanding may cause us to fall apart as husband and wife, but never our character. Storms make people stronger, and I know this kind of challenge will help us grow, learn, and somehow change us for the better.
The solid acceptance
In the four months and counting that we are apart, I learn a lot from the experience. I have seen what I am capable of doing which I never realized before. More than that, I have seen how the boys cope up with the situation.
Never did they question their parents. I haven’t heard anything bad against them, too. What I only see in them are understanding, hope, and love. Evident in their eyes, also, is the sparkle every time we go out together as a family.
Yes, many times that husband and I put joint presence especially when we hear mass and eat dinner. Perhaps such occasion may feed the kids’ fantasy of a complete family, and even give them the reason to hold onto hope for a parental reunion.
The sincere love
As for me, I always believe that
Time will come we will go back to our house. Perhaps not now but soon, we will in time. More than the solemn promise we did before God and the state, we will remain together regardless of life’s uncertainties. It is our obvious love for each other and our family that holds us together. But as of the moment, we need the space. Space, I believe, will heal us. It will find a way to inspire us to begin again.
It is our love that goes through hardships and heartaches that remains our boys’ motivation to give us that extra smile.
The extra smile
I love it when I see the boys smile. Their smile communicates hope, trust, and love to their parents and family. They know that their parents parted ways not to hurt each other but to heal wounds brought by their misunderstanding. My husband and I have differences which we are still trying to learn to accept. And when that time comes, I know we will again be together in one roof. Thus, we still keep in touch. We talk, see each other, and at times, are together on occasions like dinners and mass celebration.
It is on those times we are together that we see our children go the extra smile. They believe and understand that there is still love between their parents. That love will prevail. And our children’s happiness and extra smile are what inspire us to patch up our difference soonest.
Time will come too, that just like our kids’ smile, my husband and I will be delightedly flashing those sincere Hapee smiles. That would be the time we will be together anew, and when that time comes, never will we part ways again.
Though I don’t have a celebrity family that I look up to when it comes to an ideal family set up, seeing the Kramers puts a hapee smile on my face. The husband and wife tandem of Doug and Cheska and their three beautiful kids have inspired me to work on my marriage. How gorgeous they appear even in the most mundane task like brushing their teeth or giving the advice to make brush time Hapee time.