I just can’t sleep. With two of my youngest in the hospital, I simply can’t find peace at the moment.
So I stared at my two precious darlings for too long. Then I wonder, when was the last time I looked at them intently? Or at least caress them as if I don’t care for the time.
The overflowing basket
Lately, I often rush from one task to another. I would want everything done as quickly as possible. I stay up late, get up early, and rush. The cooking and baking I used to love become an obligation. The writing I passionately do turns a task I need to finish ASAP. I guess I was able to convince myself that my obsession with my “to do” list is only temporary. That after a few sacrifices, I will be able to face and find time for my boys. Sadly, the reality is- as I checked off an item or two, new ones replace them.
No empty basket
I am pretty convinced. Items on our to-do list are meant not to be emptied but completed. A new task would surely replace an old one. As long as you have children, there will always be plates to wash, clothes to wash, and house to clean.
Exhausting oneself to finish everything on time at the expense of putting off loved ones is just insanely wrong. It is unforgiving. Claiming that “I am doing this for your future” is just funny. By putting off our loved ones so long, they may lose interest in maintaining the relationship.
If our family can wait, perhaps those clothes, dishes, and dirt can wait, too. How many precious moments have you missed just because you need to finish something? Funny that we consider everything as an emergency. The truth though is, very little in our work truly falls into the emergency category.
My always full basket
I can’t sleep. My Little Man coughed and released a few drops of tears. I wiped clean his face and looked intently at him. He slept so peacefully but there was also a hint of pain in his face. I looked at him closely. Then I got this realization.
The basket full of love
[tweetshareinline tweet=”The purpose of my life is not to get everything done. On the contrary, it is to live a life filled with love. ” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]
My youngest wailed. He wanted his milk. I carried him and nursed him. After only a few minutes, he went to a deep sleep. I didn’t put him to his bed. I cuddled him more and looked at him closely. I found myself smiling. And I enjoyed that feeling more than the accomplishment I felt when I did the laundry or washed the dishes or even wiped clean the windows.
Sometimes, life teaches us important lessons the hard way. Ang mahalaga ay kung paano bumangon at magpatuloy na nakikita kung ano ang mahalaga sa buhay. Get well soon, Bunso. Magpalakas, Momi Berlin. Kailangan ka ng family mo. 🙂 Love you, sis.
I really find your love to your children incomparable. Though, life sometimes really hard to understand cause it works the way we didn’t expect, but at the end of the day, we are grinning from ear to ear because we love what we do. I hope that your kids will get back to their good condition.
This is the very realization I had a couple of months ago. Congrats on getting to the same realizations, and I hope that you can take better time to balance everything and that what’s important is what should be prioritized 🙂 ..
That it is not about our to do lists (because really, they never get done), but more about setting aside time as well for our family and for ourself. What happened with me was I had a burn out and I only realized it when it got so bad I wanted to quit everything. Because in the end I felt I wasn’t really accomplished. So now I try to do a better balance of time with kiddos and the husband vs blogging and household chores. I just hope I don’t get lost again in that list of to dos. 😀
I feel you mommy. I’m a full time working mom and at times parang may plate is full of never ending things to be done. And my heart breaks every time I had to pull myself from playing or cuddling with the kids just so I can attend to work or home related tasks. But yes, we just need to take a step back and realize na moments with our family lalo na with the kids are fleeting. They won’t be kids forever and time will come they won’t need you as much as they do now. Praying that your 2 little kids are feeling better now. Hang in there, mommy 🙂
thank you so much for the lesson learned through your post here. i hope your kids are alright by now. i can’t imagine how difficult it is to be a mom as i don’t have a kid myself, but i just lost my 13-year-old cat and i was really brokenhearted to the point i couldn’t imagine being a mother of kids that i delivered myself. stay strong, and good luck for you and your little kids! 🙂
I can relate. Moms do tend to be busy persons in general, so much that sometimes our perspectives get clouded by busy-ness and we temporarily forget what the important things are. That is, our kid/s. And sadly, sometimes it takes something painful (like your 2 kids being in the hospital) to jolt us out of our trance and put things back into perspective. May this be a reminder to us mothers that time with our children will always, ALWAYS be more important than the three loads of laundry or week’s worth of dirty dishes.
Quality beats quantity indeed. Sometimes you get so flustered over all the things you think you need to do, but the most important thing is to be there for your loved ones. Your child definitely has an excellent mother 🙂 Your post applies to all things in life, not just family.
Insightful as always. Although we don’t have kids, my husband came to the same realization. It dawned on him that he was always pushing aside time with me, time with his friends and other loved ones in order to check off everything in his to-do list. But you’re right, important tasks get replaced with new ones. You really need to prioritize the important people in your life. I really think your kids are super lucky to have you. 🙂
Am still single, however recently got a little niece so some of your mom sharings somehow I can relate it. Really enjoy reading your personal sharing here. Nice one! Cheers, siennylovesdrawing
Thank you for this story. It does get better when they’re older, they’re not as dependent but they blossom into interesting personalities with thoughts of their own. Which, when you think about it, is a completely different challenge on its own!
No matter how much you love to cook, it becomes an obligation at a certain point in life, when all the things cluster together, waiting for you to complete them. In such a rush, you keep forgetting that life passes by and that there is no time for the future until you start making some in present days. I completely understand you. 🙂
I can relate, very much! Its true that sometimes we need to learn the lesson the hard way.. ive been there too and soemtimes im still doing the same mistake like before kase i am eager to get things done at once. But when my body and physical health have given up, mas lalong mahirap pla..
Even as I write this, let me share with you that my mom has been in the hospital for more than 2 months now. It pains me when I see this ‘bundle of energy’ lying on the bed, helplessly. I can so relate with you in your situation. I cna simply say this- God bless you.