Generosity is given freely, perhaps out of love, compassion or pretense. Whatever the reason, there should be no strings attached nor expectations.
Last Saturday, we went to our Pediatrician. The boys had their monthly check up and vaccine. On our way, there were two beggars who knocked on our car window. Husband got something from his bag, handed it to Firstborn who was seated by his side, and asked him to give the money to the beggar.
Firstborn had hesitations giving the money. Because for him, the amount was just too big to give as alms. Husband though urged his son, thus Firstborn reluctantly handed the P100 bill to the beggar.
MOMI LEARNS What goes around comes around
My son got frustrated when the beggar didn’t even thank him for his kind gesture. He cannot comprehend why there are some people who just can’t even thank others for their good deed.
I was seated at the back and made an effort to appease my boy. This mother could feel her son’s frustration. I, for one, was frustrated, too, at the ungrateful ways of the two beggars.
Then I heard myself saying these to my Firstborn and to my two other sons seated beside me:
Why some people remain ungrateful
- Perhaps no one gives them alms thus they do not know how to say thank you.
- Or maybe they didn’t expect you to give that much hence they were not able to react at once.
- Sometimes, we need to accept that it may not be in their culture to express gratitude.
I assured the boys, though, that most likely, it’s reason 1 or 2.
What is the value of your help
“What, for you, is the value of P100?” asked their father.
My Firstborn answered, “About 2 1/2 kilos of rice.“
That gave me another opportunity to enlighten my boys about giving and sharing.
- Given that, most probably, your generosity has taught them to be grateful of succeeding help. They may most likely thank the person next to us who would give them alms as well.
But more than anything, this mother hopes that simple gesture of sharing would teach the boys to share their blessings, too. That they give freely – hopefully because of love and empathy – without expecting anything in return.
Who truly reaps the reward of generosity
I guess I have explained everything to my boys. Everyone was quiet inside the car when husband shared something we learned for the first time.
“I was on my way to work. Got nothing but an MRT card with a value of P60. I need money to ride a bus instead. So I took chances, approached a kind-looking lady, and humbly asked for P20 in exchange for my MRT card. She helped me and handed me P100 instead. Now that I am able and blessed, I am paying forward the P100 to someone needing help.”
This reminded me that
What goes around comes around.
I hope and pray the children got the idea as well.
Whoa! What a powerful message there!
I am sure the lessons have sunk in well and will be remembered for long.
I too think the reasons are 1 or 2, may be they were speechless at that amount so they couldn’t react.
Perhaps part of being a child is to be slow at grasping some things. but your kids are smart and you are really good at educating them. so i am confident they’d get the message. This whole story reminds me of the movie pay it forward. and also reminds me of my commitment to doing it. i hope people do the same. without expecting anything. it’s true. what goes around comes around. it is even biblical.
It’s not easy for a kid to understand the message of generosity and being able to understand the concept of delayed acknolwedgement or passing it on. It was a great lesson that you taught them.
Not all people know how to say thank you, I experienced that before so minsan napapaisip din ako bakit ganun. I just have to remind myself “it is better to give than to receive.” God will reward your generosity in His time.
Being generous is one value, gratefulness is another. Sometimes, we feel bad if other people don’t appreciate our generosity. Oftentimes, I am like your first born. I would really expect people to appreciate my help. Sadly, not everyone can be grateful.
Generosity and gratefulness are values which children may not be able to understand very well yet. These i think is better or easier to remember and keep in mind thru experience rather than by just telling them. First hand encounters touches the heart and will be forever remembered. I love what your husband just said..
I always love all your articles. It has some deep meaning and lessons that can actually touch our heart and remind us of so many things about life in General. Truly, what you have shared was a genuine way of elucidating the other side of the situation and somehow we tend to forget the reason why do some people are very ungrateful. But some say that kindness will always find its way back. Thank you so much for this post of yours.
I will also react the same, just like your firstborn. That it’s pretty a big sum of money. Our practice though is that we do not give money to the beggars, especially those in the street. We give food instead. We ditched giving money because they will get used to the experience of people giving them. And they will stay more and longer in the streets which is dangerous for them.I can already hear my husband scolding me when I do the giving on the streets.
The words “Thank you” are one of the very first words I taught to my kids. I want them to be grateful for anything, big and small. Being grateful is a sign of humility and it should be practiced at a very young age. Generosity is another thing that kids should learn especially in this generation. It is not always about giving money or giving big. It is about sharing even a little of what you have to the less fortunate. It could be a candy or a pack of small cracker, but it is not how much you have given – it’s the motive of your action.
This is a great message to anyone.Kids sometimes don’t understand the real life moments.It is not easy to make them understand in good way.Always story books are my favourite way to teach life lessons to my kid.He is still 4 yrs old,but stories are helpful to convey the messages…
I love your husband’s story!
I understand why your son got upset. It’s a natural reaction. But I admire you for reminding them that we should not expect anything in return. You can also remind them that a lot of times, this happens to God who generously blesses both the good and the bad daily. Not everyone gives Him thanks.
I may have the same reaction to your first born. Hehe! I don’t usually give money to beggars because they get used to it, especially if I can see them as able. I get to compare them to vendors who would sell anything on the streets. I would prefer buying something that street vendors were offering; may it be a fruit, water, or even abubut as a way to to help, than giving money. My husband would give food for beggars if we have something kept. Although I like how you always educate your children about values in life. They may not grasp everything at once but they can always look back how these values were taught by there mom.
Enjoy reading your sharing here. What goes around, comes around also one of my favorite life quote. It was shared by my late grandma when I was young. At times was sad with the minority of ungrateful, however that’s beyond our control. I will just continue to contribute my help to whom who need and believe still the majority with gratefulness;)
Cheers, SiennyLovesDrawing
This reminds me of the movie Pay It Forward. Sometimes we really can’t help but expect at least an expression of gratitude for someone we were able to help. It really takes a change in perspective to help without expecting anything in return.
I like how you always incorporate lessons on day to day life scenarios. What I think of why the beggars didn’t give thanks is probably they don’t know how to express it or they don’t know this kind of things exists. It is their priority to get alms in order to live and I’m thinking that maybe they haven’t received gratitude yet so they don’t what that is.
Regardless of that, we should help others without expecting anything in return. I know a simple thanks goes a long way but we should be smart enough to know that not anyone we help will be automatically grateful.
Generosity is really something I find challenging to teach to kids. Even now with Nate, sometimes, he won’t share his toys. I try to make him understand, sometimes, he’d listen, most often, he wouldn’t. But generosity, for me is paying it forward. Yes, karma will always find its way.
Teaching generosity to kids can be quite tricky. Kasi kapag sumobra, people might take advantage. Kapag kulang naman, sasabihin ng iba na self-centered at maramot. You see sometimes mamimisinterpret din ng ibang tao yung level of generosity ng isang tao. 🙁
I perfectly understand. I guess it will always be the case because most would think ill of others.