[tweetshareinline tweet=”Expectation feeds frustration. -Steve Maraboli, life-changing Speaker, bestselling Author, and Behavioral Scientist” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]
My life lately was full of frustration. Perhaps because my expectation was so high. I hoped that my boys would keep their room clean. And I anticipated they would keep the house in pristine condition just the way their mother does it. I also assumed my husband would be extra loving to take care of the cooking while I still regain my strength from my recent Cesarean section.
But I was frustrated. My frustration turned to irritation and rage. And it affected my relationship with my family.
Thank God I was able to realize my bad behavior before it fully robs whatever affection left for me from my boys.
This mom turned their Family Free Wall into a Goal Wall. Written there are her wishes and goals. She encouraged the boys to do the same. Thankfully, they all obliged. Even the husband participated. And when I asked them why the need for such activity, my Second Son answered, “To improve the lifestyle in our house.” My eyes welled up with tears. It confirmed that indeed, we have a problem.
This mother firmly believes that writing down our goals has an advantage over storing every goal in our mind. My boys agreed and even shared with me their thoughts.
Road map to chart our success
This mother does not like her family to suffer and be rational dreamers only. She believes that writing our goals and reading it every day would remind us of our commitment. Those written notes will help us visualize what actions we need in order to achieve our long term and short-term goals.
For instance, my short-term goal for our 2-year-old Little Man is for him to reach 12 kilograms by October. We just had our pedia visit and sadly, he didn’t gain much weight for months. In order to reach that aim, I am committed then to feed him regularly. Food alone is not enough as we need to factor in love and patience, too. Feeding a toddler can be real taxing but again, I am committed to achieving that goal. And that simple writing on the wall is my roadmap to the realization of that commitment.
A reason to start the day
I see myself waking up every day to cook food for the kids, send the boys to school, and look after the two little ones. If time permits, I would clean the house. I would also find time to write and catch up on reading my emails. And for years, it made me struggle. I would always run against time and be frustrated again because I wasn’t able to achieve everything.
But why would I look at it as if I didn’t accomplish anything when at the end of the day, I would always feel tired and say to myself, time isn’t enough to do everything. It is most likely because I do not have concrete reasons to start my day.
With clearly written goals, I can kick start my day instantly. They are displayed for me to read every day and for the boys to read as well and remind me should I be lagging behind.
Easily track our progress
Being aware of our goals, we are constantly reminded of how we will use our day to reach our desired result. We are more conscious in organizing our time wisely and how much time is left for us. Our focus, self-discipline, and determination are put to test and use. By any means we find ourselves off track with regards to the direction we are aiming for, those written commitments are our constant reminder. And since other members of the family are aware of our goals, they can give a loving pat on the back when we are almost nearing our objective or give encouragement to never give up.
Written goals are far more likely completed
I remember when I used to work for a real estate firm as a Marketing Communications Head. We have to submit our Key Result Areas (KRA). These are things we need to fulfill in the achievement of our business goals. The KRA I used to write before is more or less the same with our written goals at home. Jotting our goals down makes a conscious effort in achieving them. It is because the effort itself holds us accountable to our objectives.
The Power of Writing Down Our Goals
I am now slowly learning to manage my expectation. This mother would want to remain happy and positive even in trying circumstances. I try not to be upset as I know being one pushes me to be less patient with everything and everybody. A way I find effective to manage my expectation is to write down our goals and let the family be aware of each other’s objectives.
As it turns out, this simple experiment seems to be working. As yet, I see its huge impact on transforming our goals into a reality.