MOMI LEARNS| Silence is far from Indifference

Aug 20, 2017 | Life, Love, Only Berlin

Why is it so easy for us humans to mistake silence for indifference?  Or at least to this mother.

I have been acting too harsh for months now.  And I am blaming hormonal imbalance as the culprit.  I stay inside our room for hours. I only go down when I need to pee.  And often, I would be irritated because the house is in a mess.  I would demand the boys to clean the house pronto!

I also felt the silence of my boys whenever I am around.  They seldom joke around.  They whisper instead of talking loud.  I felt the silence.

MOMI LEARNS| Silence is far from Indifference

MOMI LEARNS| Silence is far from Indifference

And I accused them of being so uncaring and indifferent.  Why can’t they understand my pain?

Silence is far from Indifference

The lack of commitment and love, I guess, is showing indifference.  Silence, on the other hand, is showing strength.  That despite my harsh words, my boys remain silent.  That despite provoking them to speak up, all the more they remain silent.  It is such a forceful action that once you listen to it, you will learn what it would like to impart.

At the end, I would only say praises to my boys.   Though silence is so easy to misread, they opt to remain quiet and calm.  And their steadiness speaks the loudest.

The empty vessel makes the greatest sound.

– William Shakespeare, Henry V  (Act IV, scene 4)

Their silence helped me realize and hear my cruel self.

 

12 Comments

  1. LaiAriel R. Samangka ( Thelittlelai: Beyond limits)

    It is choosing to stay calm and remain silent while taking a silent action and a solution in the middle of the cruel world of trials in life. Truly, your kids knew that silent can transmit a deeper sense of understanding. I always love how you raise your kids as this can also reflect to you as a parent. Thank you so much for sharing this piece with us. It is something that I can ponder for this week.

    Reply
  2. Above Precious Rubies

    So many times in my life that I am tempted to answer back to people. When I was young, I wanted to answer my mother when she would start her sermon (and I did a few times in the past, I even made her cry really hard), when my customers are being so unreasonable, I sometimes wish I could yell at them back. There are times that I would be sarcastic at them. But you are right, silence is far better. Pero in our marriage, ayaw ni Dane pag di nagsasalita, nag aaway kami lalo, pinipilit nya ako magsabi. hehe. Hey, I miss you and I wish we could catch up soon. I like to make you smile. I know it’s been really tough lately.

    Reply
  3. Mumwrites

    It was a challenge to raise several boys at the same time. I only have one and he is quite a handful so I can only imagine your frustration! Indeed, silence means so much more than indifference and I doff my hats to your loving and responsible boys. It is so much easier to reason out and defend themselves, but they chose to be silent, thinking perhaps that you are having a difficult time and being silent would help make things easier for everyone.

    I hope you are having a much better day today, mum! Hugs + kisses to you + your boys! ^_^

    Reply
  4. Kareen Liez Datoy

    I think it is better to stay silent sometimes than speak up what we have in mind which would only result in more problems. I can actually relate to your experience because sometimes I feel like I am too cruel to my husband. So this time, instead of talking about issues that are there for a long time but is still unresolved despite too much discussion, I prefer to remain silent. What is important is to keep our relationship and our family together.

    Reply
  5. Erica

    Silence can make me overthink. But I agree, it is not the same as indifference. I understand your woes as a parent. In my case, I was like these first quarter of this year. Then finally I decided to hore a helper. I cannot do all the chores on the house plus errands plus my son’s homework plus parental duties while working full time. I cannot function to my fullest so I needed a helper. It is more difficult when it is that time of the month. Anyways, glad you were anle to make something good out of the situation. You can do it!

    Reply
  6. Amila Wickramarachchi

    I can imagine your frustration.I also experience similar situations and I blame for my hormones too.But,in my case,the kid is innocent.I show all my stressful feelings to him.In such times,he too keep silent and sometimes he tries to calm down me.The best solution for me is to go out for a walk or for the library when I realize that I am going to experience mood swings. 🙂 Your kids are really courageous and they keep silent allowing you to come back to normal…

    Reply
  7. Indrani

    Don’t be so harsh on yourself. You are not cruel.
    It happens sometimes… children are a bit confused about mood swings. Hence they prefer to be silent. They love you too much so they don’t want to upset you. Take care.

    Reply
  8. Irma

    Silence and indifference are very different, though sometimes there is a thin line between the two. Silence doesn’t mean one doesn’t care, it can mean the same person does not want to make your situation even worse. Indifference, on the other side, means you don’t care. So, don’t be harsh on yourself. Your boys love you and respect you. 🙂

    Reply
  9. Curly Sue Review

    Please don’t be too hard on yourself. We all go through tough times. Sometimes when our hormones are out of whack we say things we don’t mean. All that matters is that you notice it and try to work on it

    Reply
  10. Milton Coyne

    Don’t be harsh on yourself and I bet those silence mean something else and I’m sure it’s not by any means a sign of indifference as there is indeed a huge gap between the two. I don’t know the reason behind their silence but in my case kasi.. I’m the type of person who would rather go silence than making the situation worst.. i don’t want to start an argument or anything so for me being silent is the best option unless being approached.. so maybe you can approach them too on why they do such but I’m sure your boys has high respect on you

    Reply
  11. Allandale Antenero

    There are moments in life that we want silence. To keep away from the fast-paced life of the metro. Where we take time to contemplate, to unwind and to reflect. Sometimes, when times get rough all that we can do is to be calm and silent so we could concentrate what peace of mine or silence of mind we would like to have.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      I couldn’t agree more. Often, it is the silence that heals us.

      Reply

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