MOMI CRIES | Who am I if I stay

Jul 28, 2017 | Life, Live

Diana Prince

Finally, I have seen Wonder Woman.   Sadly, I wasn’t impressed.  The flick showed an innocent beauty who believed the war would end if she’s able to defeat Ares, the God of war.  Her stunning beauty and disarming warmth, though, made it impossible not to love her.  Yes, I could forgive Gal Gadot, but not the scriptwriter’s fancy storytelling.

Who will I be if I stay

Anyway, her mother did not allow her to leave their sheltered island paradise at first, thus the question –

MOMI CRIES | Who am I if I stay

MOMI CRIES | Who am I if I stay

And it was when Diana left the island of Themyscira that she learned of her destiny.

Rage and Love

If it was rage that drove Superman and Batman to be super heroes, love was added to the equation on the Wonder Woman movie.

Momi Berlin

Finally, I have given birth via the Cesarean Section. We did not expect it thus husband was particularly stressed where to look for the added funds.

I, on the other hand, was pressured to produce breast milk and recover quickly.  The three boys are all attending school and they need a mother who would look after them. We still have a 23-month old boy who equally needs caring and attention, too.

Rage and Love

On our second night after our hospital discharge, husband and I had a heated argument.  I was particularly too harsh with the boys, often yelling and asking too many errands.  But the truth was, I was so frustrated with husband.  He is the ablest body who could make decisions and commands yet he remains still.  He knows very well I could not function fully and yet again, he remains still. I can’t see the initiative in him.

Who will I be if I stay

I turned into a monster mom after just giving birth to a child.  I do not want to communicate to my husband the things I would want him to do.  It is because I expected him to temporarily fill in my role.  Sadly though, for me, he remains still and worst, yells back.

Who will I be if I stay like this?

Surely my boys are afraid of me.  Studies say that kids who grow up seeing their parents angry at most times would turn aggressive and depressed.

Perhaps true.  While I was breastfeeding our newborn one afternoon, I heard my Big Bunso’s murmur.  “Ang gulo naman naman ng pamilyang ito.”

This triggered me to write an article for PSST.Ph about empowering parenting: be a calm parent.  Indeed, anger has such a negative effect on children that may affect how they see their parents, the world, and even themselves.

I have been a monster mom and I still thank the Lord for the experience.  At least I felt and seen how my boys reacted to my yelling and I do not wish to live a life like that.

I would want to be the loving mother my boys and even my husband used to know before.  Lord, lead me the way again.

4 Comments

  1. Meg Mortega

    Hugs, mommy. Challenge ko rin yang maging kalmado. Minsan because I am stressed out sa work, naibubunton ko sa eldest ko which is very wrong kasi may isip na sya. Thanks for reminding me to be a calm parent. Medyo mahirap pero kakayanin.

    Reply
  2. Mommy Rockin' In Style

    Ako din naman monster mom and wife. Hindi naman kasi natin kaya lahat and may mga frustrations din tayong mga mommies. Anyway, lilipas din yan. Hugs to you mommy!

    Reply
  3. Maria

    Well, there are times that men would always want to be pushed extrinsically. Idk why but I noticed that most would really want (or need) to be yelled at before really doing anything. Then if they get mad, they yell back. Haha. Foolish pride? Loljk. Anyway, hope you’re doing fine. Going through CS is tough since you cannot really move around yet. Hope your newborn is ok!

    Reply
  4. Nilyn

    Melisa and I just talked about you yesterday. We were so impressed by how you were able to do (write so many posts in particular) when you were just recently discharged. I understand how you feel, ganyan ako minsan. Nakakapagod naman din kasi talaga. Stay strong for them. Kaya mo ‘yan!

    Reply

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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