MOMI LEARNS| The dirty laundry

Feb 7, 2017 | Life, Only Berlin

Have you heard of the story “The Dirty laundry?” I haven’t not until this morning when I read it to my 11-year-old son. It was such a beautiful story worth sharing.  Of course, the lesson it imparted was equally divine.  I got it from Paulo Coelho’s blog.  And he wrote it more than two years ago.

10-sec reading:  the laundry is not very clean

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

“That laundry is not very clean; she doesn’t know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.”

The dirty laundry

Her husband looks on, remaining silent. Every time her neighbor hangs her wash to dry, the young woman makes the same comments.

A month later, the woman is surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and says to her husband:
“Look, she’s finally learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?”

The husband replies, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.”

Criticizing your parenting style story

There is this mother who talked with excessive pride and self-satisfaction about her parenting style.

Allegedly, my son bullied her son, and she was displeased.  She mentioned how “kind” his children are because they know how she gets angry.  They know they will be lashed and beaten should they do something wrong.  She gave a lengthy statement about the right parenting techniques.  I kept mum after seeing that our conversation will lead to nowhere.

When I visited the school to meet with the school president and spoke with the teacher, I learned it was the other way around.  It was my son who was being bullied all along.  And all those times, my boy just kept his silence, not even telling me what the other classmate did to him.  Last week, when the classmate attacked him, he finally ran out of patience and lost his temper.  He whacked the classmate on the head.  Only that the classmate was able to avoid my son’s hard blow.  The classmate retaliated and hit my son’s head quite heavily. And it was just one of the many incidents that happened between them, with the bully classmate starting first.

The moral of the story “the dirty laundry”

We sometimes act so fast and judge too quickly, especially if we are clouded by anger, negativity, and even unfulfilled desires.   We also make quick little snap judgments based on our first visual.

It was easy for the classmate’s mother to say malicious and cruel comments against my son.  It was so easy for her as well to challenge my parenting style.  And it was so easy for her to dare my son and accuse him of bullying her son when she was not aware of how her son behaves in school.  She mentioned she knows her son as gentle and kind because she hasn’t received a single complaint from any parent.

I rest my case.  I will just use my time cleaning our window.

16 Comments

  1. Danica

    That is a good story. People nowadays need some window cleaning as well! I guess I need to share some soap I have at home. 🙂

    Reply
  2. sabine

    First I thought this article was about laundry. But now that I’ve read it, it’s much more deeper. I agree, that this is a very important issue. We should not judge so quick I agree.

    Reply
  3. Teresa Dumadag

    Nice analogy. That is true. We need to hear or see both sides. Then, we can decide what is the best action.

    Reply
  4. KatrinaJeanCarter

    This served me a good reminder as well. We surely can misjudge others when clouded by emotions. Great aalogy, too.

    Reply
  5. Gryselle Mae

    I love how you write you blog posts. They are so interesting and fun to read! 🙂

    Back on to the topic, yes, there are indeed a lot of people who criticize others and immediately judging them. I, in fact, am also one of those people. I tend to get carried away by my emotions. My heart jumps over the cliff before my brain does. That’s usually the reason why people judge the other party. They haven’t tried to think of the other side of the story. And if the story they got is indeed the right one. Think before you speak.

    Reply
  6. Swayam Tiwari

    I guess it is natural for us to pass judgments, it is our DNA. But, as we advance in years, we must sit back and reflect. There can be at thousand other perspectives to a situation. Why not approach one or two of them? That ways, our lives would be a lot more uncomplicated.

    Reply
  7. Yan

    Great lesson. I’m subscribed to Paulo Coehlo’s blog and I love reading this 10-sec reads, truly inspiring. 🙂 I hope that parent realizes who’s really at fault and discipline her son better.

    Reply
  8. Louisa

    Nice analogy. IT can get that way especially for parents. I think because are small achievements in parenting are hardly recognized that we feel we have to build ourselves up. It’s also nice to just be proud. My eldest was also bullied in his younger elementary days. I would council him on what to do but eventually he found what was right for him. Now, he’s a very popular boy which I’m very happy about but even if he weren’t us parents would always see our children as the best people.

    Reply
  9. Maria

    Woah there. Bullying? At a very early age? Damn. Kids these days. I just wish that the other kid be punished accordingly. But anyway, parents are protective of their children. I understood the other side as well.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Yes, she is jusy being too protective and extremely overa acting.

      Reply
  10. Liana

    This article is much more deeper than I though; and I truly enjoyed it. First of all, you’re right, there’s nothing more pitiful and making me angry than grown-women bullying over parents because they want to make their kids stand out. It seems even tho somehow it’s protection, they didn’t grow up and stayed at the stage of being a kid. Their children shouldn’t learn how to bully others because it’s such a disaster when they are in HS!

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Yes, and inasmuch as I would love to make patol, I just kept my silence. She’s too angry and it seemed her concern was not anymore her kid’s sake but how to show her vigor.

      Reply
  11. Aica Batoon

    I really like the story! There are tendencies when we are quick to judge other people without realizing that we are not perfect as well. I hope and pray that the bully’s mother will come to realize her mistakes and not think too highly of herself. 🙁 I, too, was also bullied during my childhood years and I am very sad that your son has to go through that too. Bullying should stop, really 🙁

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      I only wish as well that the mother would realize that. Perhaps she’s just clouded with anger thus reacted negatively.

      Reply
  12. Tala Martinez

    Great story momsh. Grabe naman yung bullying na yun, talagang nakakasakit nang grabe. Sana maiwasan ito. At sana rin hindi tayo mag-judge sa isa’t-isa, lalo na at di alam ang buong story.

    Reply
  13. Love Compoc

    wow! Mommy will share this to my children, there’s life lesson from the two stories and i want them to realized what’s wrong too. Everyone needs some window cleaning too bec we easily conclude and gives unfair judgement. Yay! thanks for sharing.

    Reply

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  1. MOMI TIPS| How to do laundry fast and easy | MOMI BERLIN - […] Coffee and chocolate stains are easier to remove when still fresh.  They can be removed with running water only. …

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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