MOMI UNDERSTANDS| As we forgive those who trespass against us

Feb 2, 2017 | Life, Only Berlin

One intention I firmly commit myself to do this year and the many years to come is to be a prayerful wife.  I used to be a churchgoer and my prayers are my constant weapon.  Sadly when the good Lord blesses my family with one boy after another, my faith dwindled.  Perhaps career and motherhood took place.  Often, despite the many good news, I still feel the emptiness of life.  It grows, devouring even my relationship with my family and friends.

So I stood up and now, I am slowly walking my path toward a familiar trail.   I realized that all along, He is just there waiting for me.  The travel may still be long but this wife is happy she is on the right track.

 

What is the meaning of “As we forgive those who trespass against us”

As we forgive those who trespass against us

Anyway, this story is about one realization I had this morning.  I was praying the rosary and then stopped.  What is the meaning of –

As we forgive those who trespass against us.

 

I cannot continue my prayer that morning.  It seems so hard to forgive one person who is causing so much distress to us lately.

So I stopped.

Then I allowed myself to see and feel what that person was seeing and feeling.   Only by putting myself into her shoe would I certainly understand her angst.  She may perhaps have reacted so violently, but she is just one mom who deeply cares for her son.  And then I see where she is coming from.

And honestly, I forgive her for being one anxious mother.  What I cannot tolerate are her vulgar and shameful bashing.  She was not able to control her emotions or she allowed her feelings to take her over.  She acted so unreasonably, causing hurt and even trauma.

The trespass

It was the students’ free time.  My son and his friend were playing chess.  Then somebody distracted their game and my son, out of irritation, whacked the classmate on the head.  Only that the classmate was able to avoid my son’s hard blow.  The classmate retaliated and hit my son’s head quite heavily.  My boy realized his mistake and offered his sorry.

The mother, who learned of the incident, immediately bombarded me with long chat messages and accused my son as “sobrang salbahe” (bad boy).  She claimed her son got dizzy after, and even on the next day was not able to stand up straight because of dizziness.  She then threatened my boy and me.  And my goodness, spoke of so many unimaginable and truly detestable words.

The forgiveness

We are yet to have a conference at the school to hopefully, settle everything.  And I sincerely pray there would be a reconciliation.

I was also able to finish my rosary and meditated a few minutes.  My 17-month-old son seems to be enjoying his stay in our bed, so I was able to draft this post.  I would love to read this sometime again should I question the need to “forgive those who trespass against us.”

The lesson

My son acted unjustly.  He realized his mistakes and made amends.  The other mother reacted very differently and spoke of unthinkable words to make her message across.  I cannot judge her if what she did and is continuously doing is right or otherwise.  But I learned something from her.

Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.

At the first gate, ask yourself, is it true.

At the second gate, is it necessary?

At the third gate ask, is it kind?

Ritu Ghatourey, Indian author

Also, I was able to reflect about forgiveness.  It may be hard to forgive someone who has wronged us.  But it is necessary.  There is still the feeling of dislike for this person, but I am positive I will get there and finally release this negative feeling.  I learned today that just like God’s apostles who are “slow to learn,” I am also in that process.  I have read and understood that Jesus’ wisdom is a seed that grows differently in every individual.  I do not know when it will grow inside me but it will certainly grow.  I just need to let God help me grow it inside me.  And should it buds, I know all hatred and resentment I am feeling for this mother will vanish.

5 Comments

  1. Kathy Kenny Ngo

    You are nice. The moment someone threatens my son, it’s free for all. I can withhold my temper if I’m the only one attacked but the moment they involve my family, there’s just no holding back for me. I pray you and your family will get this resolved soon.

    Reply
  2. Aica Batoon

    I agree, it is very hard to forgive someone especially when he/she has caused you a lot of pain. I include to my prayers everyday that may God give me a forgiving and gentle heart. Forgiveness also takes time and I am sure that one day all your negative feelings against the mother will slowly be gone. Praying with you! <3

    Reply
  3. Michi

    I feel you, it happened to me last year when one mom was looking for me because according to her son, my son pushed him. When in fact, they were just playing at nagkabanggaan at pareho silang bumagsak, it just so happened that my son’s head did not hit the floor or cabinet so walang bump. Good thing na wala naman threat coming from her. I hope you’ll get through this.

    Reply
  4. Claire Santiago

    It’s like the Rotary International 4-way test – Is it the truth? Is it fair to all concerned? Will it build goodwill and better friendships? Will it be beneficial to all concerned? But honestly, it’s a very hard thing to do…

    Reply
  5. Nilyn Matugas

    I don’t know if I can have the patience not to answer her back! She’s just too much. I salute you for staying your ground, it’s really not easy! I hope she stops already ‘coz it’s just so annoying.

    Reply

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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