One intention I firmly commit myself to do this year and the many years to come is to be a prayerful wife. I used to be a churchgoer and my prayers are my constant weapon. Sadly when the good Lord blesses my family with one boy after another, my faith dwindled. Perhaps career and motherhood took place. Often, despite the many good news, I still feel the emptiness of life. It grows, devouring even my relationship with my family and friends.
So I stood up and now, I am slowly walking my path toward a familiar trail. I realized that all along, He is just there waiting for me. The travel may still be long but this wife is happy she is on the right track.
What is the meaning of “As we forgive those who trespass against us”
Anyway, this story is about one realization I had this morning. I was praying the rosary and then stopped. What is the meaning of –
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
I cannot continue my prayer that morning. It seems so hard to forgive one person who is causing so much distress to us lately.
So I stopped.
Then I allowed myself to see and feel what that person was seeing and feeling. Only by putting myself into her shoe would I certainly understand her angst. She may perhaps have reacted so violently, but she is just one mom who deeply cares for her son. And then I see where she is coming from.
And honestly, I forgive her for being one anxious mother. What I cannot tolerate are her vulgar and shameful bashing. She was not able to control her emotions or she allowed her feelings to take her over. She acted so unreasonably, causing hurt and even trauma.
It was the students’ free time. My son and his friend were playing chess. Then somebody distracted their game and my son, out of irritation, whacked the classmate on the head. Only that the classmate was able to avoid my son’s hard blow. The classmate retaliated and hit my son’s head quite heavily. My boy realized his mistake and offered his sorry.
The mother, who learned of the incident, immediately bombarded me with long chat messages and accused my son as “sobrang salbahe” (bad boy). She claimed her son got dizzy after, and even on the next day was not able to stand up straight because of dizziness. She then threatened my boy and me. And my goodness, spoke of so many unimaginable and truly detestable words.
We are yet to have a conference at the school to hopefully, settle everything. And I sincerely pray there would be a reconciliation.
I was also able to finish my rosary and meditated a few minutes. My 17-month-old son seems to be enjoying his stay in our bed, so I was able to draft this post. I would love to read this sometime again should I question the need to “forgive those who trespass against us.”
My son acted unjustly. He realized his mistakes and made amends. The other mother reacted very differently and spoke of unthinkable words to make her message across. I cannot judge her if what she did and is continuously doing is right or otherwise. But I learned something from her.
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates.
At the first gate, ask yourself, is it true.
At the second gate, is it necessary?
At the third gate ask, is it kind?
Ritu Ghatourey, Indian author