MOMI LEARNS/ how to live a miserable life

Jun 28, 2016 | Life, Only Berlin

The most common of all clichés I’ve heard.  Sounds so close to the truth, but still, I am uncertain if reality favors TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS.

chicken pox.  I had chicken pox 24 years ago and it left a permanent scar on my skin.  They say laser treatment or other cosmetic procedures can effectively reduce scars like that of the chicken pox.  There are also some skin bleaching creams claiming to help fade the scar a little.

Now, I feel no more pain because my chicken pox was completely healed.  Time heals all wounds.  The scar though is there to remind me that once upon a time, I had chicken pox and in time my boys may not be spared as well.

burnt arms.  I had my arms burnt by boiling cooking oil more than 12 years ago.  The mark  is less visible but if one would look closely,  my skin looks somehow untidy because of its uneven color.   I don’t feel any pain or heating sensation anymore.  That is because time heals all wounds.  But the blemish on my arm will be a constant reminder of my carelessness.

emergency appendectomy.  I had an emergency appendectomy six years ago and my stitches still seem to look very sore and tender.  I also feel a few quick pinching sensation especially if it is cold or my pants are very tight.  The surgeon I spoke with a week ago mentioned that the wound was already completely healed seven months from the date of operation.  And the new pain I am experiencing is dubbed peripheral neuropathy, physician’s term for damage to nerves caused by trauma or the side-effects of an operation.

All these are about healed wounds. All healed in and by time.

Sadly, there are some wounds that even time can’t heal.  Or maybe we have been too focused to waiting for that time.

Still in doubt if time heals everything.  But certainly, time passes.   There are a few individuals who can accept the hurts and disappointments of life and simply move on. They have that certain resiliency, perfectly illustrated as springs that are able to spring back to its old form.

Others seem to stay imprisoned in their pain, I included, unfortunately.  They — or we — live life as if the painful memory had happened just minutes ago.

Would you love to stay miserable and forever be indebted to years’ pain?  Heed my advice:

Remain bitter and unforgiving. 

“Mandela says gently, ‘The Rainbow Nation starts here. Reconciliation starts here.’  His security leader responds,  ‘Not long ago these guys tried to kill us.’  Mandela says, ‘Yes I know, forgiveness starts here. Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.'” (From the movie Invictus.)

Such a powerful weapon that though I pray that I be able to use it, I can’t.  I can’t because I  remain bitter.

Always think of yourself as the victim.

Let yourself be entrapped by life’s misfortunes and always bother yourself that your antagonist’s every action is towards harassing you more.

Oftentimes, I become entrapped within my own creations, perhaps too much telenovelas and reality tv watching. Or simply, I enjoy torturing myself with too little or too much information and end each info with a dramatic conclusion.

Do not free your mind.  

This is very useful.  Play the hurting scene over and over in your mind.  Make the decade’s ago scene the most important event of your life and talk about nothing else but that misfortune alone.  In short, make it the central theme in your life.

Complain the unfairness and evilness of life.  

It’s a given fact that there are honest and righteous individuals as there are morally corrupt and wicked  folks.    Dwell on life’s injustices and forever avoid taking forward.

If you follow these suggestions, I assure you have a wonderfully unpleasant and satisfyingly upsetting life.  And unless I try to do the otherwise, I might find the answer then and say that indeed, time heals all wounds.

33 Comments

  1. Carola

    It’s always tough to overcome bad experiences. It’s not always up to yourself if and how fast you heal. But a positive attitude can make it more easy. Also a bit more easy to fight to heal.

    Reply
  2. Sriparna

    So perfectly put! I think I’m able to comply with the message from your post,because I think totally as you are… it’s so hard to let go off things at times. Even when decades have gone by. I guess our minds just play games with our emotions!

    Reply
  3. Joanna

    Unfortunately, scars of the soul are very hard to heal. Even if you forgive, you can’t forget. Especially if the harm has done by a loved one. It’s hard to snap out of negativity but we should appreciate all the ones that are trying.

    Reply
  4. rowenarose

    Scars (physically or emotionally) reminds us of some dark stages in our lives. I believe though that time heals everything and it is okay to be bitter sometimes but you should have a time frame for it and then move on. Whenever something bad happens to me, I give myself a time to mourn, whine and cry but I always make it to a point that afterwards I will move on and tell myself “tama na ang drama”

    Reply
  5. Stella the Travelerette

    I have a friend who is a minister and he said once that holding on to anger at someone is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick. How true! We all have scars, but I know I’ve hurt people and I’ve been hurt too. Feeling angry at other people doesn’t do any good. If someone is really a toxic and hurtful presence in your life, avoid them as much as you are able! Other than that, don’t hold on to your scars.

    Reply
  6. mariaisquixotic

    Staying on something negative will never help someone to move forward. It will always bring you down on some point. Scars are always there to remind us of the mistakes and the lessons it taught us. Your stories about your scars may have given me some goosebumps. Hehe

    Reply
  7. Zwitsy

    Hahaha, those who are going through a lot and if they read this, they’ll definitely be drowning themselves in problems. Well, I just hope that they will remain positive despite all the problems that are thrown to them.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Being positive helps a lot. Problems will always be there so might as well make those problems pass by and never entertain them to stay long with us.

      Reply
  8. thatguywithstories

    Negativity breeds illness. The body loses its immunity, the stress levels go up and our body becomes a storehouse of many illnesses like diabetes and high blood pressure. Try to appreciate small things in life and you will be healthier.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Nice words and advice. Thank you

      Reply
  9. Nimi Popat

    O loved how sarcastically you wrote the post. This is exactly the problem witb the world right now. Over thinking and that too negatively. If we know how powerful our thoughts are, we will never think a bad and negative thought.

    http://www.haircaresquare.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Overthinking may lead us to danger, i guess. Allowing negativity brings us no good as well.

      Reply
  10. Cykaniki

    Problems are stepping stone, it depends on how we deal it, if we will stay and linger with it, then, it will just eat us up, unknowingly making us I’ll inside out.

    Reply
  11. Jackie

    What an intriguing post! I honestly expected a funny post filled with sarcasm and bits of uplifting, only to see that the post title really meant business. I hope that things look up in your life, and I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive whoever it is that has shattered you so.

    Reply
  12. dawn

    I love how you made it sound sarcastic or to use reverse psychology. That’s funny but at the same time, enlightening. I love your approach! I will definitely do these steps to live a miserable life! Just kidding. Thank you so much for sharing this. Let’s spread positivity all the way!

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Positivity all the way. Thanks for the appreciation. 🙂

      Reply
  13. gilian

    I think it’s not time that heals wounds. I think it’s love that heals wounds through time. When time passes, we tend to forget why we were actually mad at something or someone, we realize our mistakes, we change, we become mature, we develop love for others as we receive love from the people who accept as for who we are. So through time, the love that we get from God, from people, from family, eventually helps us heal inside, then out.

    Reply
  14. wifeymommyrn

    Maybe time does not heal all wounds but being too hung up on things that have hurt us would make recovering much difficult. Looking at the bright side, maybe wounds leave scars to remind us that despite being injured, we were able to get up, move forward and get on with our lives.

    Reply
  15. Michelle Solee (@michisolee)

    Sometimes it really takes time to heal wounds because we are not ready to let go of it. So we need to learn to let go and let God take over.

    Reply
  16. Maan Laxa

    True, true, true. I try my very bestest to let go of grudges but I cannot do it alone. I always need God’s mercy; good thing his mercies are new every morning.

    As for physical scars, I had chicken pox 18 years ago, and I also have a huge CS scar. I am not really bothered; I view them as battle scars. 🙂

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Agree on battle scars. You have a few of the nicest scars then. 🙂

      Reply
  17. Liz Aquino

    Aptly put. As what I always say, “bawas-bawasan ang panonood ng telenobela”. Sometimes, or probably more often than not, the issues we have are exaggerated because we’ve come to think that things should happen a certain way because it is how it is portrayed in TV so it must be true.

    Our minds can conjure so many thoughts that it is really great to just free it from everything once in a while. 🙂

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Nicely put:) thank you. Hahha, and love the bawas bawasan ang panonood ng telenobela. Funny yet very true.

      Reply
  18. Kaycee Enerva

    Everyone has their own burden. Thanks for sharing your story. Some people might find others’ problems not as “hard” as they have (which is true) pero kanya kanya kasing pain tolerance yan.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      I agree. Thank you for “listening.”

      Reply
  19. Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy

    Time does heal all wounds. I think it also helps to have closure and not dwell on it. Move on and be positive. 😀

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      I agree on move on and always be positive

      Reply
  20. Nilyn EC Matugas

    Time does not heal all wounds, but not the scars. I was spanked with a leather belt when I was young, the scar is still so alive! haha. Pero yes, on relationships and arguments, most often, it does, yes.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      Haha. Masakit tlaaga ang leather bely kapag tumama sa laman. But it gave you constant reminder not to repeat the same mistake. Ehehe.

      Reply
  21. Maria Teresa Figuerres

    Sometimes it takes longer to heal some wounds. I’ve also learned that while we can learn to forgive, we sometimes cannot forget.

    Reply
  22. Lady Anne Louise Barrun

    Such an inspiring post Berlin. I agree with you. I don’t hold grudges even people intended to hurt me. I always think that God do it on purpose, to make me strong which is why I forgive people easily. Like people says, kill them with kindness is the best revenge.

    Reply
    • momi berlin

      I like how you say it- kill people with kindness is the best revenge.

      Reply

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