MOMI LAUGHS & CRIES| Thoughts of my husband

Jan 25, 2017 | Live, Love, Only Berlin

Husband resigned from work to fully concentrate on an engineering consultancy firm he set up. He is now serving his last week at the company he was with for 10 years. Then he confessed to his wife his apprehension. He told me he penned all his concerns and before he could even finish his writing, he felt relieved. He realized there is nothing to worry much as those disadvantages he thought are actually his advantages.

I asked permission to post his composition, and he smiled at me. “They are yours, too. Use it and be inspired as well.”

Thoughts of my husband

Thoughts of my husband

“I am presently in a moment of great disadvantage. I am supporting four kids; two are in high school while one is in his fifth grade. They attend in expensive schools. The youngest is one-year-old that needs caring. My wife is three months pregnant. I have no regular earning. We are renting. I am the breadwinner. We do not have HMO, and I do not have any life insurance for my family in case I die. My bank balance is about zero.

“However, I am blessed with knowledge so I can figure out things. I have a relatively healthy 40-year old body. My eyesight and hearing are still intact. I can communicate. I can cook. I can drive.

I am comfortable doing errands and chores. I am trained to endure pain and poverty. I can command. I am sensitive and socially alert. I have an exemplary degree of clash detection and spatial skills. I succeeded quitting smoking. The number is my friend. I appreciate physics. I have good power of concentration.

“I am a real estate broker. I have a computer and smartphone. I have decent clothing. I have a new watch. I have a farm to run.

“I have caring and smart kids. I have an intelligent and loving wife. I have an ever supportive mother-in-law. I have a brother and a sister. My father is still well. My mother is still alive.

“I have a profession that is open to opportunities. Opportunities are presenting themselves as I make offers. My integrity is intact.”

Discussions of the husband and his wife

Seriously, raising kids eats up more than half our budget. A considerable portion goes to education which husband and I give importance. To have children as well means dedicating more time for their growth and development. I resigned to give my full attention to them.

Husband admitted he find it hard when I left my corporate job. The burden of looking for food and money became his sole responsibility. But then he relayed to me that the pride of eating home-cooked meals during lunch was something his officemates would envy. Seeing his wife spending time with his kids doing school assignment is something that pleases him. Knowing that his one-year-old boy could shout “Papa” and knows how to do the mano po sign and even give sweet kisses are priceless. He also acknowledges how my blogging and writing have brought great help. I was never a disadvantage but his strength.

He also shared that he truly thank God for blessing us with smart and kindhearted boys. They not only bring laughter and great joy in the small house. More than that, they are our wingman. They could manage to operate the washing machine and do the laundry. They help us in cleaning the car and the house, and that includes the comfort room. They change the bed linens and curtains, the rugs and bath towels. They manage our trash. They look after their baby brother while I take a shower or cook. And most importantly, they give importance to their education.

They are polite. They bring me to bed when I feel dizzy. They give me water and medicine. Husband and I are confident that as we grow old, these boys will be our hands and eyes. They are never our disadvantage. They are our treasure.

Thoughts of the wife

I understand husband’s fear. But I believe in him just the same way I have great faith in the capacity of my kids. He is the most hardworking man I have ever known. He works at the office all day, and when he got home, he still works. He has the heart for the poor. He shares his blessings. He finds time for his wife and his boys. His integrity is very much commendable. And he has his kids’ and wife’s support.

We are not rich. We struggle at times. But we are a family who believes that God is good and He provides.

Faith don’t come in a bushel basket, Missy. It come one step at a time. Decide to trust Him for one little thing today, and before you know it, you find out He’s so trustworthy you be putting your whole life in His hands.

Lynn Austin, Candle in the Darkness

41 Comments

  1. Michi

    I only have one kid and I know how expensive to raise a child, how much more if you have more kids. But I agree with you, God will provide, He can make a way where there seems to be no way. Sometimes wives just need to trust and support their husbands. Good luck on your hubby’s consulting firm.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Thank you for the kind wishes. We need it more than ever, I guess. And yes, we wives just need to trust and support the men we choose to spend the rest of our lives with. I know God is with us all the way.

      Reply
  2. Kris

    While reading the blog, I get to see a glimpse of what it will be like when raising a family. It’s not always bed of roses, there are some struggles but at the end of the day, everyone always delivers. Reading your posts made me prepare in a way on what to expect in married life. hehe! I hope I can deliver as well as you do. 🙂

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      We will always survive and deliver specially if there is trust and love between the husband and the wife. Hope you find the man who will be a good partner in good and in bad times.

      Reply
  3. Nilyn Matugas

    You are one of the most hardworking couples I know! Specially you, na umaga pa lang, andami ng nagagawa! waah! Maybe hubby can start writing a blog too! Mas magaling pa sya magsulat sa’kin! hehe. What he did was such a great leap of faith, and even you when you left your job. I’ve always wanted to be a housewife and learn to cook, take care of the house and take care of Nate. But hanggang “want” lang ako, ‘coz of fear na baka sobrang maghirap kami. But I’m still hoping that will happen one day, someday. It’s not going to be easy for you but I know magkakaroon ng provision ‘yan.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Thank you. Oo, minsan ang mga sinusulat ni husband, impressive ha. Lalo na kapag sya susulat sa mga teachers nung maliliit pa ang mga bata. Nahahigh blood kasi agad ako sa teachers kaya sya sumusulat. He has his charming ways para di magmukhang nakakairita ung letter. Ehehe.

      Going back to you, of course, you can do it. You are a housewife now and looking after your son. You may not clean or cook but you stay at home for your son. That alone is a big sacrifice.

      Reply
  4. Gemma

    I love your husband’s honesty with his feelings! Things will work out for the best, for sure! God speed to you and your family!

    Reply
  5. momiberlin

    Thank you. Husband can be real honest especially about his feelings. I hope our 2017 be kind and generous to our family and yours.

    Reply
  6. Meg Villamarin-Mortega

    I know everything will be alright. The fact that your family stays intact through thick and thin is a such a blessing. May God bless your plans and dreams. Have a safe pregnancy, Momi Berlin! 🙂

    Reply
  7. Mommy Queenelizabeth

    Oh this is inspiring. What a wonderful premise coming from a husband. My husband is on his 40s too and i can see him thinking like that too. He was very hardworking and very supportive to us, especially to me amd the kids and other extented family members. God always provides indeed…

    Reply
  8. Gryselle Mae

    I love this! I’m a soon-to-be-married woman and honestly, I am afraid of what comes after marriage. My fiancé and I have already talked about having kids and raising kids but I know it will be totally different from what we are imagining.

    As of the moment, I have resigned from my job and decided to start a business with my fiancé and his friend. Since the business is just starting, I don’t really have an income of my own yet as shares are to be distributed after a few months for the business to have money to run. My boyfriend decided this himself and asked me if I am willing to take part in his plan. That’s when I decided to resign from my job as a translator.

    At first, he thought he can handle it. He knew it would be hard as we are already living together and we have to pay rent, utilities and of course our daily necessities; but he thought he can manage. Money-wise, he was able to do so; but the pressure is so much different. The pressure he feels makes him feel so stressed everyday that he still goes to work even if he is already isn’t feeling well. He tends to get a lot more irritated compared to before. But I do understand how he is feeling.

    You are lucky to have such a good husband. I’m not saying my fiancé isn’t. I’m really thankful for him. But it is good that he can appreciate the little things around him. Most husbands don’t.

    I hope my fiancé would be able to grow into a good husband and father as well. I know it would take time, but I’ll stick with him no matter what.

    Reply
  9. Jen Ubongen

    I salute your husband for being open to what he truly feels. And I feel that you are very supportive of him. I am also a stay at home mom and as much as possible I’m looking for opportunities to also earn additional income for the family. Yes I also believe to trust in HIM and he will provide. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Kylie

    It’s great that your husband feels comfortable to open up to you and discuss his fears, wants and needs. It’s important to keep relationships loving, loyal and compassionate.

    I hope you both sort through everything soon.

    Reply
  11. Juvy Ann

    Your husband’s worries are real and valid, which could cause some to slumber in despair and hopelessness. I admire your strength and love for each other. Faith in the Lord and support in each othrr will hold you up.

    Reply
  12. Nini Perez

    Like I always tell my husband, “We may not have too much, but it’s never nothing.”

    Such an inspiring story of your husband. Kudos to his positivity. I know it’s cliche, but I’m a firm believer of always finding the brighter side of things.

    Reply
  13. Mommy Levy

    Life is hard but I believe you’ll survive, it looks like your husband is confident about it naman.

    Reply
  14. Mia Foo

    i read so much appreciation, so much understanding and so much love in those words you (and your husband) has shared. And i’m truly touched! It’s not common to see a man being so open about his true feelings and vulnerability. You’re truly blessed to have him, and so is he to have you.

    Reply
  15. Jhanis

    Sooo expensive to raise kids. We, too struggle at times but go lang ng go. I guess the key is open communication at all times and be a support system to each other. Aja sis!
    Side note, writer ba si hubby? :’

    Reply
  16. Gilian

    Love this. I can cry anytime right now. I love it when men writes. When men faces fear. When men admits their weaknesses, and when men asks for help. I salute you for being a great wife and mom. You are such an inspiration. Keep loving. Keep raising good boys.=)

    Reply
  17. EINz

    True, raising kids is costly, as we both decided to have 2.

    I also quit my corporate job and decided to stay at home to have more time with the kids. Since I can no longer find a trustworthy kasambahay.

    I have big adjustments since, but decided to focus more on its advantages. Luckily, we managed to start-up an industrial supply business that still provides income for my part as husband still works for their family business.

    Not having a regular income, at first, was a bit scary. But yeah, we have to believe that God will provide, and we need to open our doors for more possibilities with confidence!

    Goodluck!

    Reply
  18. Rowena Wendy Lei

    Madami ng work-from-home oppportunities these days, kahit na part time. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Claire Santiago

    A good wife always supports his husband. She contributes in decision making, yet is submissive to his decisions. And whatever the outcome, maybe, she is still there, she won’t turn away for the failures and she will rejoice silently for the success…cheers!

    Reply
  20. May Palacpac

    One of my husband’s favorite verse in the Bible is “On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided.”Genesis 22:14.

    We believe that no amount of hard work will cause abundance if we are not in the center of God’s will. We sometimes ignore that part. We think that burying ourselves in many different income-generating opportunities is the way to a comfortable life. But the truth is, it is God who provides and gives us the abilities to work to provide for our families.

    I noticed that your husband mentioned “Integrity” which hints to me that he made a huge decision on the basis of keeping his integrity. I commend him for that, and for having a wife that stands by his decision no matter how scary the new season will be. 🙂

    May the LORD bless you and keep you and may He make his light shine upon you and give you peace. 🙂

    Reply
  21. Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy

    It must have been a really tough decision for the husband. Having his wife and family’s support is very important though. Great writing by the husband, by the way!

    Reply
  22. Mywondermom

    I see our current situation in your post. My husband is also planning in quitting his job to focus on a business he’s so passionate about. There will be a lot of sacrifices but I guess I need to trust the Lord for seeding this desire in my husband’s heart. As a wife, my job apart from giving insights, is to support him in whatever decision he will make. I am positive that you and your husband will succeed in this as well. 🙂

    Reply
  23. Dane

    Yes! Nothing is easy in this world but with one’s love and help everything will be better! I salute your husband for being honest about his feelings and good job to you for being very supportive sis!!

    I have 3 kids 1 in the 5th grade, a 3 yrs old and an 11 month ild baby

    I and hubby are both working but there are really times that you will be shorted but when you are a parent na nothing is impossible you will always find ways to make things better for your children

    Reply
  24. lariza garcia

    let tomorrow worry itself
    God’s know everything
    so hwag ma stress

    Reply
  25. Michelle

    You have a strong and responsible husband Momi Berlin. Actually, pareho kayo. I can’t imagine raising 4 kids and another one is currently on the way pa. My husband and I are both terrified sometimes on how are we going to raise our two beloved children. On where are we going to enroll them in school in about 2-3 years from now. Family life and raising kids can be terrifying but we both believe, too, that if we believe in each other’s potential and in what has God planned for us, for our family, we will surpass every challenge and that there is nothing to be fearful about. God has wonderful plans for us. And yes, your husband is so lucky that you’re his wife. I bet masarap talagang magluto si Momi Berlin at mas tipid and healthy naman talaga pag packed lunch instead of buying fast food. 😀

    Reply
  26. Janice

    I know it can be hard not to worry but sabi nga ng husband mo madami naman opportunities. It’s just a matter now of choosing the right ones. Keep praying. God provides. I know that for a fact. 🙂

    Reply
  27. Alaine

    I love reading post like this. Cheers to healthy relations and happy married life! Good luck on the new firm too.

    Reply
  28. Cris Evert Lato Ruffolo

    Marriage works because husband and wife communicate to each other. I admire couples like you who really take time to talk and engage themselves in meaningful conversations. My prayers are with you 🙂

    Reply
  29. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen

    Knowing how hardworking and kind-hearted you guys are, I know you’ll survive it. God will always provide especially to those who works hard for it. Wishing your hubby blessings and luck in his new endeavor.

    Reply
  30. Maria Teresa Figuerres

    It’s very seldom that a man opens up about his thoughts on matters closest to his heart. I admire your husband for focusing on the positive, instead of the “what ifs.” Your family is blessed to have a hardworking, kind and supportive head of the family. Good luck on all his future endeavors!

    Reply
  31. Emiliana sison

    We only have one child but we sometimes struggle making both ends meet. It is good that you have an open communication with your spouse on things pertaining to your household. Just hang on and pray when things don’t turn out the way you expect it. It helps.

    Reply
  32. Ayi

    There are so many things we should be thankful for. Money plays a role in family life, but more importantly, being a family is what matters most. You can do it mommy. There are many opportunities around and let’s grab it every chance we get 🙂

    Reply
  33. Macy Santos

    I love it when you are able to openly communicate with your life partner this way. It is really important that we should listen and be sensitive towards our husband/partner to fully understand where he is coming from. Glad that you’ve got a husband that loves you and the kids so much. Just keep the faith and all will fall into places…God Bless.

    Reply
  34. TweenselMom

    An open communication I truly believe is one of the keys of a successful marriage. Even if my husband and I were engaged for 5 years, we only got that open level mga after 5 years after we were married na. As in feeling ko mababaliw ako kasi I couldn’t talk to him without us misunderstanding each other. But God was good and I think we both matured to the point that we can already talk to each other about everything, just like you two. God bless you and don’t worry, God will see you through, just hang on to Him.

    Reply
  35. Mommy Anna

    As a husband and wife we need to be with each other back and have a moral support. We don’t need to blame each other if hindi maganda come out ng isang plan. As long you trust and respect each other everything will be good

    Reply
  36. Badet Siazon

    One thing I believe is this, “God will provide”. I always say this to my friends, God will give you everything just when you needed it. I think your husband is confident and knows that he can support your family. Wag ma-stress Mommy 🙂

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Hahah, Salamat po. Yes, removed stress from my system. I know my husband could do it and God will always provide. Thanks ulit.

      Reply
  37. Abie

    I think someone’s cutting onions here 🙁 This is beautiful. Having kids is expensive yes so it’s not for everyone because bringing up a child in this world will take a lot of your resources and energy plus you need to make sure that they grow up responsibly. It’s great that you can openly communicate everything with your husband, frustrations, fears, etc. It’s good that you have each others back what ever happens.

    Reply

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