“Who broke the bottle of Oyster Sauce?” was the question of Firstborn to Big Bunso.
“Did you hear mama got mad?” was the answer of my 11-year old son.
“No, I haven’t. So who broke the bottle?” insisted Firstborn.
“Exactly. Did you hear mama got mad?” Big Bunso repeated.
The confusion on Who broke the bottle of Oyster Sauce?
This went on for about three times. Until Big Bunso revealed it was mama who accidentally broke the bottle of oyster sauce.
It wasn’t the hormonal imbalance. It was how I treated the boys for quite some time especially when I learned of the unexpected pregnancy. I was rude to them when I felt like it. I let them get their food and clean their plates. We seldom eat together. I preferred to sleep and be alone inside my room. And I saw the confusion in their eyes. That confusion turned to fear.
Who broke the bottle of Oyster Sauce?
And now I heard what my Big Bunso told his Kuya. I did not get mad when the bottle of Oyster sauce was broken because it was I who broke it. That meant I often get upset at them whenever they did something that displeased me.
It was a wake-up call. I need to get my act together before it’s too late. I love my boys, and I know they love me, too. I do not want fear to reign in our small house.
Momi learns from “Who broke the bottle of Oyster Sauce?”
Today is a new morning. I still feel uncomfortable. They say anger is a completely normal human emotion. However, with the way I dealt with my boys, I know I hurt them. My anger turned sour and destructive. I was so engrossed in anger that I forgot to explain my actions to my boy.
I need to talk to my children this evening. They left for school this morning without kissing or hugging me anymore. No more jolly goodbyes just like before, too. I should let my boys feel that love is still there. That love is real. And their mama loves them dearly.
I was just reading a post shared to me by a friend about how boys don’t listen — they watch you and observe you and- they pay attention to what you are doing.
Children notice and observe more than we think…
Hmmm I see. I hope that feeling of yours passed para good mood ka na. If you need someone to talk to, I am here. We are here.
I have a 3 year old boy and I’m still learning the “right?” way of disciplining my child. I guess it’s every mom’s or parent’s dilemma.
I often snap with my little girl too, and will feel guilty afterwards after seeing her face. What’s even sadder is when they develop fear na sa atin :(.
Come to think of it, when my kids do something “bad” (i.e. accidentally breaking something), I get really upset. But when it’s me, I don’t react that way. I need to get my act together too! I just feel overwhelmed with two preschoolers and my husband being away all the time.
It happens especially when we feel so stressed and alone. But yes, we should be really mindful of our acts and words. We can always change and improve because we want to be the loving mommas our children deserve.
This is a reminder for me, as well, that even though we always say we love them, actions do speak louder. I need to be conscious of how my actions affect them, too.
Yes, action speaks louder. Thanks for reminding me that.
I guess we all have moments like this as moms. The important thing is that we learn from it so that we can do better in the future.
Yes, learn and be able to use that learning to improve. Thank you
My daughter is already 9 years old and is very observant. I remember when she told my mother I cursed her once. It’s not something to be proud of and I promised myself I’ll do my very best to be more patient and to act right because I don’t want her to think that I am raised like that.
Good point. Sometimes kids would think perhaps we do such things because we were raised like that. I should really get my acts together and behave how a loving and understanding mom should be in the first place.
Being angry is not bad.. It becomes bad on how we express it. It needs to be expressed in a pleasant way. This was our topic in our Bible Curriculum, dealing with emotions. Time will really come when we will loose control of our temper. I’m blessed because my son will easily forgive me everytime I fail on this area. I hope you’ll be ok Mommy Berlin. I’m sure your boys misses their jolly Momma.
They miss their loving momma. And often they are confused. I really need to pray hard and ask for God’s guidance. It is comforting that there is that bible study to constantly guide and remind you.
I get angry too and i get carried away by emotions easily. But i never let the day end without talking to my kids and explaining them the reason why and that i am sorry if i hurt them too.
That is a nice practice. To never end the day without talking and explaining to our kids our actions and thoughts. I hope to be able to do the same.
I’m such a beast whenever I get irritated. And I always get irritated at almost every little thing. But this year, I’ll try my very best not to be that angry person because I notice my eldest daughter would copy my actions. This is truly an eye-opener for us moms. God bless
God bless us. And may God always remind us to be gentle in dealing with our kids as well as others.
Thank you for this inspiring introspection. I am a victim of my own temper more often than not, so this hits close to home.
Our kids really teach their parents most of the time. And they can be real forgiving, too.
Aww. Pinched my heart. Children are keen observers.
They really are. Now, I need to be real careful of my words and actions.
As a mom of two (8 & 4 years old), I am focus on my patience to love, care, understand, and teach them to be good kids and be closer to each other.
Such impressive practice. I hope I could also have that same.focus. thanks for the share. Learning A lot.
Kids pick up emotions faster than we think. It’s like an internal radar that is built in. Hugs to you, momma! Your boys do love you still though.
Boys are keen observers. Hindi sila palasalita pero tinitignan nila maigi yung kilos.
Minsan ganyan din ako kay Chelsea pero narerealize ko agad Na Mali ako. I hug her agad and nag sosorry ako.
I’m guilty of this, too. I should really learn to control my emotions when my son does something that displeases me. He often tells me that I’m always mad. I usually say sorry when I feel I’m out of line, but that is not enough. I must do something about this now. Hugs, mommy!
May time talaga nagiging ganun tayo mga mommy but eventually we learned our lesson wla namn masama to admit it.
naku, this is so true. if it was us who did something wrong, we just shrug shoulders. pero if it was someone else, we get mad.
Nakonsensya naman ako 🙁 I easily get pissed at my kids for the littlest things even if I am doing my best to practice self-restraint. Thanks for this post, I need to get my act together soon
We tend to take it out on them whenever we have to deal with something inside of us. I’ve been getting antsy with the boys lately too. It may be because I’m getting too heavy and there are still so many things that I haven’t prepared yet for the new baby. I have to make time for the boys more and truly connect with them.
Not only boys, girls too. My 2 girls are swiftly discovering how they can irritate me and minsan they make it as a joke. Natutuwa sila na inisin ako and sometimes, since immature, medyo hindi na respectful ang dating. But then sweeter moments come. I guess kahit na immature sila, deep in their hearts, they know how we love them, and no one can love them as much as we do.
It’s nice when we realize our mistake and do something about it. I feel you mommy, minsan ganyan din ako.
I get cues of how I deal with my kids on how they treat each other or handle situations. They copy how we handle situations. Whenever I see my boys doing or saying something that I don’t like, I know some of them are from how I treated them. I immediately take actions on how to explain or correct them. I feel for you. I pray everything will be okay.
I think us mommies often snap at our kids but we should always to remember to talk to them afterwards so they know the reason why we did so.
Aww… Hugs Momi Berlin! Pregnancy really turns our world upside down. Lalo na yung emotions natin halos di na ma-control. Don’t feel so bad and I hope you’ve already talked to your boys. I’m sure they will understand and will behave na rin para hindi nila mapa-init ang ulo ng kanilang preggy mama. 🙂 Your kids are smart and understanding naman eh (based on what you’ve written about them before.)