MOMI LOOKS BACK/ our set up before

Jun 29, 2016 | Life, Only Berlin

I pinched my son’s ears. Twice.  He grimaced.  Tears streamed down his face.  But continued to do his assignment.

I was tasked to go with a writer to interview four doctors specializing in joint replacement. The interview was at 6:30pm somewhere in Serendra, Bonifacio Global City.  We got everything after an hour and a half.

It was so hard to get a cab willing to transport us to Trinoma.  Finally, we got a cab after almost 15 minutes.  Traffic slowed to a crawl along the northbound lane of EDSA.  Only after Crame in Quezon City did the traffic flow became lighter.  Reached Trinoma at 9:20pm.

I was home by 10:15pm. I found second son still at the living room doing his assignments.  I asked him.  I was too angry that I pinched him.

Should I politely declined the interview offer, I was home early and Second son has done his homework early.  I should not have pinched him.  He should not have cried.

The next day, I prepared the boys’ meals.  And I cried.

This is my three boys’ everyday living.  Packed lunch and packed merienda.

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After school, readily available packed lunch on the table.

 

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At 4:00pm, they will take their merienda- a glass of milk and a pack of ensaymada

I let them eat lunch by themselves. But they should never fail to eat lunch (because sometimes my boys are just so busy playing that they can forget to eat).  I told them to do their homework by themselves and mama will just check the assignment at night. If they have quizzes for the next day, I told them to read ahead and mama will just help them review at night.  And if I have evening work commitments, the boys will wait for me. I never heard them complain.

I am also confused.  Am I teaching them to be independent or are they too young to be taught independence?

I am working to save for their future and yet what am I doing in the present?

* An entry I wrote dated September 8, 2011.  Firstborn that time was in Grade 3; Second Son, grade 2; and Bunso, preparatory level.  Five years have passed and I am now with my boys everyday.  I prepare their food in the morning and even cook their school baon.  I bring them to school and also fetch them.  Once at home, they have a decent merienda to eat before starting with assignments.  And I just thank my dear husband for letting me be a mother to my boys and never leave them by themselves again.  

And the good news now is, the things I have taught them years ago are still very much in their head.  On weekends, they help me with the laundry and house cleaning.  Everyday, they set up the table and if they do not have assignments, they volunteer to wash the dishes and even sweep the floor.  They also do their own school projects and homework.

Again, thank you, Lord, for this opportunity.  Now, I see my boys being independent and helpful.  Their mother is now home to guide them everyday while their father works hard for their future.

9 Comments

  1. Wendy

    So why did you pinch second son’s ear?

    Ang cute naman ng mga baso. May takip pa.

    Your boys will be fine. I think first and second son are old enought to look after themselves and after bunso.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      yah. oa lang talaga ako.

      napingot ko sya kasi 10pm na di pa nya ginagawa ang assign nya. nasanay kasi silang kami ang gumagawa ng assign, ngayon sabi ko, sila nagagawa, check ko na lang pagdating ko.

      Reply
  2. Wendy

    I asked my officemate dati if it’s normal na sobrang tutok sa bata pag may assignments and exams. Yung ibang friends ko kasi, ganun ang ginagawa. Sabi ni officemate, kung ay ang anak mo ay sobrang bata pa or medyo mahina and kelangan ng guidance, syempre dapat itutor and tutukang mabuti. Pero kung marunong naman at kayang magreview at gumawa ng assignment mag-isa, wag na raw ireview na parang imbecile ang bata. Sabi rin nya, normal lang na turuan ang mga bata sa assignments kasi mas mahirap and advanced ngayon ang mga tinuturo kesa nung panahon natin, Quality educ pala ngayon. Nung time natin e hinde. Hehe.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      hahaha. parang ramdam ko na affected ka sa post ko. nway, tinuturuan ko na nga mga bata na sila na gumawa ng homeworks nila. may hesitation nga si second son perso sabi ko kaya mo yan. si first-born walang problema. gumagawa talaga sya at nakakatawa minsan yung mga compositions nya. si bunso ala ring problema. sa school pa nga lang ginagawa na yung assign e.

      Reply
  3. Wendy

    Hehe, naoverwhelm lang ako dati sa facebook kasi yung mga status nung mga mothers e ang dami pa nilang irereview na lessons with their kids. Naisip ko bakit ako nung bata e never nireview. Baka sadyang tamad ang parents ko. LOL

    Reply
  4. Amazing Life Daily

    When I read about the pinching, ouch. I made the same mistakes too, perhaps worse pa nga. What you did, is what you needed to do, as far as work is concerned. Of course when it came to kids, the physicality was uncalled for. We all have moments like that and the only thing we can do as parents is to man up to it, despite the guilt feelings.

    Kids are fine, you are there for them. They help you with chores. They do what they have to do. They have the ability to do that.

    Reply
  5. mariaisquixotic

    Personally, from experience, pinching is one of the ways to show “lambing” so I never saw it as a sign of pain or punishment. Maybe, it was your way of punishing or calling his attention as well as making lambing to him.

    You could slowly introduce to them what is independence and what benefits could they get from being so. 🙂

    Reply
  6. Zwitsy

    I am so guilty of spoiling my son. I guess I should start exposing him to independence as early as four. Not really that independent one perhaps. But you got good boys there!

    Reply
  7. Louisa

    There is no easy answer when trying to decide to do what’s best for your kids. You’re on the right track though. It’s so great that you’re able to be with your kids. Being there for them is the best for them.

    Reply

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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