MOMI MUSINGS| Understanding Second Son

Feb 16, 2016 | Life, Love, Only Berlin

And he did it again.

He woke me up at 6 am, all dressed and ready for his 8 am church meeting. I gave him money, told him to eat before leaving the house, be home right after the meeting, and to take care.

He still was not home by 2:30 pm. His meeting wrapped up at 10:30 am and my mom was already panicking. We went to the church to look for Second Son. He was not there, and we were told that all acolytes left already after the short forum.

We went to the nearby park to check. Last time he told me he went to the park to play basketball. Still, no sight of him around.

We went home. Still not there.

And I began to worry. It was already 3:00 pm.

From our house, I told my mom that we take our chances and drive to the village next to ours. She questioned my decision and said the place was too far for Second Son to consider going to. But I insisted.

Mom was slowly driving when I spotted a skinny lad standing by the waiting shed. He was with a few bystanders playing chess. And he seemed so engrossed. I told my mother to make a u-turn as I have already found my son.

From the other side of the road, my mom lowered her window and couldn’t control her temper. She shouted at Second Son to go inside the car. Second Son looked displeased.

My mom was so angry she began to chastise the poor kiddo. My boy just kept mom. I looked at my mom and muttered to stop. I wanted to talk to my son privately.

Then I asked him to tell me everything what transpired from the time he left the house until the time we found him. He narrated they got dismissed by 10:30 am, and a fellow acolyte invited him to play basketball at Goodwill Subdivision.  They walked from the church to the next village and played at the park (and it was indeed a long walk)  Then his companions invited him to play a war game at a computer shop, but he declined. He told them he would just go home. My son made a quick stop at 7-11 to eat hotdog then on his way home, he saw some bystanders playing chess by the waiting shed, and he just stood there and watched them play. He forgot about the time.

I would want to be anger at him.  But thank God, He might have whispered into my ear to think, act and speak kindly.  I told my guy we were so worried. There are news about kids getting kidnapped then returned dead with body organs missing. We do not want that to happen to him.

Sadly our world today is a dangerous place to live in. And inasmuch as we would like to trust people, there are so many evil forces looming large over the place.

 That statement made him shed a tear. I did not ask if those tears were for the uncertain world or because he was caught somewhere.

“Have you eaten already,” was all I could ask after. He told me not yet. He got his plate and started eating. It was very obvious that he was real hungry. Then I just left him. I want him to enjoy his meal.

It was a Saturday. I read from one of the blog posts of one mama that there will be a free calligraphy workshop at Glorietta in Makati. I intend to attend with Second Son. This mother would want to surprise her son as he is into lettering. We were not able to take part in the workshop because of the incident.

I would want to blame second son’s new found friends. They are bad influences on them, as described by my mother. Partly, I would want to blame myself. The last time he did not also go home right after their church meeting, I just kept mum. He must have thought it’s ok not to ask permission.

And so again, dear Lord, I am asking for your guidance. I remember the first time I asked help about second son.  I am here again.

Dear Father, thank you for the gift of children. Help me, please, to prepare them for eternal life. Guide me what to give and what to withhold.  Caress me with your gentle love and teach me to be the same to them yet  be firm.  Whisper to me always when to be considerate and when to say no.  Help me to be patient with them as you are with me.  These I ask from you, Amen.

18 Comments

  1. May De Jesus-Palacpac

    I understand how you feel. The anxiousness, the fear, the worry…but I also admire you for your self-control.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Thank you. Sometimes it amazes me how I could control my anger but then it saddens me din if I would easily give in to my anger. But I pray I would be more patient pa.

      Reply
  2. mamaspeaksagain

    When I was younger I would often question why my mom is so hard on me and more relaxed with my younger siblings. I would later on, when I became a mother myself, with my 2 boys realize that we love our children equally, but some would require more attention and care than others. The love we give depends on how much each one needs.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      I agree. I often question myself if I have favoritism. It’s very seldom mapagalitan si Bunso. Then Oo nga, kasi the other one needs more guidance and understanding.

      Reply
  3. Mommy Queenelizabeth

    i admire your self control… and i was imagining your mom as she was talking to ur son…parang si mommy ko din if given that situation for sure mauuna ang Lola mastress… as the kids grow, we have to deal with different stages of growing up din and how well we need to manage it as parents.. relationship vs rules, i think what u did was right but still we have to be firm with our rules and guidelines kase if not they will think everything they do is just fine… prayers do help a lot too 🙂

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, need more prayers. I sometimes become a nag din kapag Di Na Kaya ng patience. Thanks.

      Reply
  4. Neri Ann

    If that happens to me, I will feel so worried too! Good thing that you were able to explained it to him. It is really important that we set rules for our kids. Para din naman sa kanila yun.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, I hope he understands and will never happen again. Thank you.

      Reply
  5. gilian

    I always like reading about “sons”. =) I have two. One is 4 yrs old and the other is 2. I feel that I should learn from people how they discipline and teach their sons, as it will happen to me soon. =)
    I think you’ve done a great job here. You have shown gentleness to him, that’s what he needed especially after your mom had shouted already. Love is what you have shown him, that’s what he needed that time. =)

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Thank you for the affirmation. Though sometimes, I get to be angry over not so big deals. Again, thank you and I hope your boys will grow up as real gentlemen and with fear in the Lord. I guess that’s the key. If they fear the Lord, they will be gentlemen and responsible din.

      Reply
  6. Emiliana Sison

    I’ll be worried sick as you if my child isnt home at the time we agreed on. Kids are assertive nowadays so I always tell my daughter that she should be home if she has nothing important to do outside.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, kids can be so assertive and sometimes, indifferent. Or perhaps, I just don’t understand them sometimes. Take care of the daughter. I don’t have any so sometimes I envy those with little girls.

      Reply
  7. Melisa Sanchez

    Self control is very important. If we control our temper we are able to think the right words, right thing to do, but if we lose our temper nako baka masaktan lang natin anak natin emotionally through our words and physically. A gentle answer turns away wrath but harsh words stirs up anger.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, true. How I wish I always have the self-control. Sometimes, I tend to be so angry over simple things. Thanks for this.

      Reply
  8. Maan Laxa

    We grew up in a pretty lax environment (I think we take security for granted here in our city) but at home, going home on time is important. I’m sure your son realised his mistake, and I think you made the right move when you let him learn the lesson instead of nagging. Second children never do well with nagging 🙂

    Reply
    • msbolin

      I will remember that — second children never do well with nagging. Thank you.

      Reply
  9. Lady Anne Louise Barrun

    I think it’s my blog where you read about free calligraphy in Makati. I noticed your blog has changed and your blog url. I’m so happy for you. I hope this is the style that you really want to achieve. Anyway, I’m glad you didn’t overreact with the situation and you remain calm. I am that kind of mom too.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Thanks. This is my first blog. Revived it as Sayang Ung mga posts.

      Overreacting is something I really pray that I get rid off.

      Reply

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