I just can’t sleep. With two of my youngest in the hospital, I simply can’t find peace at the moment.
So I stared at my two precious darlings for too long. Then I wonder, when was the last time I looked at them intently? Or at least caress them as if I don’t care for the time.
The overflowing basket
Lately, I often rush from one task to another. I would want everything done as quickly as possible. I stay up late, get up early, and rush. The cooking and baking I used to love become an obligation. The writing I passionately do turns a task I need to finish ASAP. I guess I was able to convince myself that my obsession with my “to do” list is only temporary. That after a few sacrifices, I will be able to face and find time for my boys. Sadly, the reality is- as I checked off an item or two, new ones replace them.
No empty basket
I am pretty convinced. Items on our to-do list are meant not to be emptied but completed. A new task would surely replace an old one. As long as you have children, there will always be plates to wash, clothes to wash, and house to clean.
Exhausting oneself to finish everything on time at the expense of putting off loved ones is just insanely wrong. It is unforgiving. Claiming that “I am doing this for your future” is just funny. By putting off our loved ones so long, they may lose interest in maintaining the relationship.
If our family can wait, perhaps those clothes, dishes, and dirt can wait, too. How many precious moments have you missed just because you need to finish something? Funny that we consider everything as an emergency. The truth though is, very little in our work truly falls into the emergency category.
My always full basket
I can’t sleep. My Little Man coughed and released a few drops of tears. I wiped clean his face and looked intently at him. He slept so peacefully but there was also a hint of pain in his face. I looked at him closely. Then I got this realization.
The basket full of love
My youngest wailed. He wanted his milk. I carried him and nursed him. After only a few minutes, he went to a deep sleep. I didn’t put him to his bed. I cuddled him more and looked at him closely. I found myself smiling. And I enjoyed that feeling more than the accomplishment I felt when I did the laundry or washed the dishes or even wiped clean the windows.