Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind. Buddha
It’s true. Peace of mind is something too aloof because we keep on hating others for their achievement while we forget or belittle our successes. As it is human nature to compare ourselves with others, this act, however, makes us come up short.
Envy makes many of us wish for something that others else have. And the sad part is, we can’t seem to be truly happy for them. This leads us to hate these people. But what we don’t realize is that this sensation is ruining our life.
I admit there were episodes in my life that I envy others of their achievements. But as there are many ways to get stuck in a cycle of envy, there are also several ways to deal with bitterness and eventually lead us to true happiness.
Acknowledge being envious
It is prudent to admit to ourselves that we are feeling envious. This feeling, though, escalates to resentment when we blame others of hurting our ego. The truth, though, is our envious feeling comes from our reaction to their accomplishment.
As admitance can hurt our ego, it is still prudent to do so than let it destroy us. It is only by acknowledging our negative feelings that we can clear our mind that it is our reaction and not the person that hurts us.
Build a healthy relationship with oneself
Having a healthy relationship with oneself means we acknowledge our strengths as well as our weaknesses. We value our ability and health, thus practice self-love and self-respect. We do not depend our happiness on others and things; instead on our capacity to embrace all coming our way and seeing the silver lining even to those not so promising.
Appreciating ourselves not only allows us to love ourselves but also to accept there are people better than us.
Free oneself from resentment
Perhaps, our hatred for certain individuals started when they outwitted us on something decades ago. Or when we were rejected infavor of those people, leaving us so hurt and insecure.
This means we hold on to past incidents, and finding it hard to let go of that incident will only drag us to hating them more. The best to do is to move on as yesterday’s incident can no longer be changed. Let go of that anger and never use it as a scapegoat for missed opportunities.
Avoid comparing oneself to others
Many prefer to flaunt their highly edited, glossed up version of their life. That being said, they only show us a part of their story. We genuinely haven’t seen the perhaps gruesome another half.
The lesson of the story then is never to compare ourselves with anyone. We do not know their whole story and their life’s reality. It is only by being that person would we know the entire story. So stop hating others for just seeing the beautiful side.
Practice gratitude for everything
Haven’t we consider that perhaps, we are so busy prying on others that we deliberately take for granted the blessings coming our way? The key then is to be genuinely grateful for our fate and happiness follows.
Focusing on the good things around us will also train our mind to do so. Eventually, we feel at peace and content. And we will learn to be happy about other’s achievements, too.
Don’t act on your jealous feelings
As envy is very well usual, it is when we start acting on that feeling that it becomes a treat to our sanity and relationship with others. Entertaining the thought of hating individuals because of their achievement makes envy work against us. The best to do is to practice mindfulness and replace that negativity with something positive. Look into what we can do to achieve the same fate. We can also use their success as an inspiration, something that would lift our spirit and lead us to self-improvement.
Which leads me to one individual many would consider as a hated person because it seems she has everything already. She is Giselle Barrion, recently named Mrs Tourism Universe in the Mrs Tourism 2019 pageant.
Mrs Tourism Universe 2019 is A Friend
Mrs Tourism Universe 2019 is A Friend (photo grabbed from Giselle’s Facebook page)
Launched in 2017, Mrs Tourism 2019 is an international pageant for married women and mothers. Mrs Tourism pageant believes in the cause that a mother cares for the world. Its coronation was held last October 28 in Pasig, Philippines. Giselle was among the 27 women who competed in the pageant with Mrs Thailand Apipapha Jankaen taking home the Mrs Tourism Queen Mother 2019 title, the pageant’s top honor.
Giselle’s success, though, is more of bringing pride to the country as she indeed represented the Philippines well. Her winning, too, makes me so proud because I know her personally as a former officemate. We worked on a few projects together, and her commitment to her post and company was truly admirable.
The inspiring journey of Mrs Tourism Universe 2019
After many years of not having contact with her, our paths crossed when she conducted a seminar about The Essentials of Self-Mastery. The workshop was an inspiration in itself, helping participants understand themselves better, eventually their circle, and the community they belong. It was from that enriching seminar that I further see the other side of Giselle. More than her beauty and brain, she has the heart to help many find their self and life’s purpose.
Do I feel envious of Giselle’s achievement? I do. She has found her life’s purpose, and she bravely lives it. But I do not let that jealously hate her. I see her as a real inspiration to push for my dreams. And I will use that inspiration to also achieve the many aspirations in life, not as a beauty queen, though, but as a mother who cares for the world – the same advocacy Mrs Tourism Pageant believes in.
To Giselle, I am so proud of you! Our congratulations!
Mrs Tourism Universe 2019 is A Friend (photo grabbed from Giselle’s Facebook page)
By the way, Giselle was also named Mrs Gusto Drink and Best in National Costume 1st runner-up.
awww. nainspired aq sa mga sinabi mo momsh. Bilang isang tao kasi di mo maiiwasan ang ganitong pangyayari lalo na yung dont act on your jelous feelings. pero dapat talaga marunong ka magkontrol sa sarili positive lang dapat talaga.. lahat ng nababasa ko sa blog mo momsh even yung quotes na sinishare mo naiinspire ako. thank you talaga
Social media makes it so easy for people, esp moms, to compare. Ang dali kasi makita yung mga updates 🙂 But social media is only a facade for some people, so don’t always assume that their lives are perfect. Sabi nga ng mom ko, “Huwag dapat mainggit. Maging kuntento.” 🙂
Wow, that was really a prestigious event and I am happy that your friend won as a title holder.
It is okay to be envious as long as you are using it as your motivation on achieving success..
Your friend looks lovely. It must have been a great event for her.
Comparing yourself to someone else is never a good idea. You have made great points here x
Laura
https://pinkfrenzymissl.blogspot.com/
I’m sure you’re friend has an amazing time. Everyone looks so lovely.
Yes, we definitely need to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. It’s so important to take care of yourself.
Envy can be terrible if you don’t recognize it. Thanks for a great post!
Wow. This looks like a great event. Your words are very inspiring to. I feel guilty to most of it.
What a fabulous post! Thank you for sharing your experience of being a friend to a famous friend. Gisele needs your support and sincere friendship you provide her with.
It’s nice to have a friend like you who is proud of her friend’s accomplishment.
You sound like a really good friend. I know she appreciates your support!
Great advise! Feeling grateful for everything we have is the first step to feel good about ourselves and cherish the accomplishments of others.
Mrs. Tourism Universe is really looking great, Thanks for the wonderful post.
Beuatiful ladies! I have never experience watching a beauty pageant but it is one of my goals this year.
It is crucial to have a great relationship with ourselves because it is the only relationship that you are guaranteed to have every day of your life.
Your friend is very beautiful and congrats to her. Great advice.
I did not even know that Mrs. Tourism existed. With that being said, you gave great advice. Comparing myself to others is one I need to work on!
Congratulations to your friend. I have never heard of this before!
Nice post, I agree, it’s human nature that at some point in our lives we experience being jealous of others achievement. What’s important is that we don’t feed negatively, we should see this as a challenge.
It is always easy to compare yourself to others, especially those that you think are doing better than you, but you are right to always stay true and love ourselves because you never know another persons whole story. It’s amazing to see how happy you are for your friend. I love seeing women lift each other up and being happy for their own success!
Totally agree that once you have learned to appreciate other people, you will learned to be happy for them. Okay lang naman mainggit sometimes, pero yong super envious na, Hindi na healthy, that’s one problem nowadays esp on the social media 🙁