I am a mother of five free-spirited boys. Often, I hear myself angry in the morning. Dirty dishes are piling up in our kitchen sink. The floor is messy from last night’s playing. The bathroom is filthy, obvious that it hasn’t been scrubbed for days.
I would often pass the blame to my boys. For this mother, they are insensitive, not seeing that their mom’s hands are always full. They can be real inconsiderate and just think of themselves.
But the truth is, the children are helpful in their own ways. I need not instruct my Firstborn to sweep and mop the floor. He would do those tasks as soon as he wakes up. Our Second Son would fold the laundry and even wash the dirty dishes. Our Big Bunso would take care of his little brothers and give them a bath. They do these without their mother demanding.
Looking at the big picture
Only that we are a big family. As always, there will be glasses and plates in the sink to wash. This is because we always encourage the boys to eat and devour what’s on the table. There will always be toys scattered everywhere because we urge our toddler and his 10-month old baby brother to play around the house. And there will always be mountains of laundry to wash and fold because we promote proper hygiene at the small house.
The house will always be busy and noisy, I guess until all five boys stay in there. And by the time they have their own family and house to take care of, that will also be the time our small abode finds its peace. This mother, though, isn’t ready for such change.
I always pray that God blesses me with wisdom and patience. And every day, He puts me to test; at most times, I fail. Last week, He led me to a place where perhaps, will help me understand the world deeper. That would direct me to the peace and quiet I am longing for.
Learning from the big picture
Seeks to understand the big picture.
MOMI LEARNS| Understanding the big picture through Systems Thinking
This is just one of the 14 habits of a systems thinker. And that day, I commit myself to see the bigger picture. I will look deeper how the parts of the system interact with each other, causing me to be more decisive and emphatic as I make responsible choices. With constant exposure to this kind of thinking, I believe it will increase my chances of contentment and personal success. My dream to always live the happiest life will be within easy reach.
This systems thinking approach is what Benedictine International School (BIS) promotes to its students, teachers, and parents. Founded in June 2000, BIS was established on the philosophy that relevant education is a product of adaptation to the demands of the time and the application of new approaches to thrive through the changes. This private school in Quezon City is the only systems thinking school in the country.
I am quite impressed how the school grows. It describes its organization as continuously learning, growing, and embracing change. I must say, it is a non-traditional school not confined to a strict system. On the contrary, [tweetshareinline tweet=”it looks at challenges and goals in different angles, not as remote events but as parts of larger structures.” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]
Understanding the big picture
Let me elaborate and use our family as an example.
As I wake up this morning, there are piles of pots in the sink. I wasn’t able to wash them last night because my SumoSam cried and wanted to sleep already. We went upstairs and I put him to sleep. I left my toddler under the care of his three older brothers who are busy watching a television show. And I let them watch because a few weeks from now, classes will start and they will no longer have the liberty to do those things again.
Because I left the toddler downstairs, he will most likely play with his toys. He will scatter those building blocks and Lego pieces. The big boys, on the other hand, will continue to play, laugh, and tease each other. Then I will go down and demand them to sleep pronto. This left them with no other choice but to rush to their room and sleep.
It’s easy to lose temper. But if only I allow myself to remove those assumptions, my mind would surely picture what truly happened that night. Sometimes, it is the suspicion that creates the problem. [tweetshareinline tweet=”Removing assumption can free up my mind to see the bigger picture.” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]
Reacting to the big picture
Now, here I am looking at the big picture.
With a clear and happy mind, I proceed to prepare our breakfast. We eat in peace and even joke around. After our meal, my Second Son volunteers to cook the lunch later. My Big Bunso, seeing his little brother throwing tantrums, suggests they will take a walk around the subdivision. The house is again at peace. And the peace we are experiencing isn’t the deafening kind of peace out of fear but of cooperation and caring.
I have come to realize that learning to understand the world we live in isn’t hard after all. One just needs to have an open mind and again, always seek to understand the big picture. Then little by little, positive changes happen.
Going beyond the big picture
Sometimes, the smallest things can make a big change. Greeting the children good morning first than nagging them to make the bed creates a big difference.
It is better to ask than to assume. I could always ask the kids why the floor is messy than accusing right away that they just don’t care.
Practice makes us better every day. And I am committed to practising this systems thinking approach until I am able. I am more than willing to echo the learning to my five boys, too. And what better way to show them than to model the empathy, love, and care.
MOMI LEARNS| Understanding the big picture through Systems Thinking
Perhaps, this is God’s answer to my prayer. I seek peace and He led me to find peace through a school that cares. Benedictine International School isn’t just a learning institution. It teaches its students beyond what books and performance task sheets teach. The school isn’t selfish to keep to its students and teachers a system that will pretty much change how one thinks, acts, and speaks. It shares with the world what the school thinks will help everyone succeed in all avenues of life.
Momi Berlin Directory
Benedictine International School Website
I love this! We get so focused on the small, here and now too much. It is really great to stand back and look at the big picture!
Such a sweet post. I am happy that you have made it through another year at school. I am glad you get the big picture. It sounds like your kids do help some. Hopefully they will help more this summer!
I like how you explained about greeting children in the morning. I understand that because it happened to me as a child and now I try to say good morning to all my nieces and nephews to avoid any nasty feelings.
Yes, I always try to focus on the big picture. If you focus on small things, it’ll waste your energy quickly!
I don’t have children but I do know the importance of looking at the bigger picture and not just narrowing it down to only one piece of the puzzle. Every goal has a journey behind it, and if we don’t enjoy it, then we surely won’t be as happy when we reach the goal, right?
Beautiful blog and the theme is very cute. Big picture is now love 🙂
I don’t have kids but this is such a great lesson to learn! Thanks for sharing 🙂
I have 4 boys so I understand the joy of noise. My boys like yours do help with the chores.
I only have 2 boys and they crank me up and drive me nuts alot of time. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for you with 5. A system that brings order and peace is must especially for a family this big. Godbless you and your family sis.
I agree, don’t sweat the small stuff. Sometimes we are really focus on small things and we forget to see the other part of the picture. Even I have only one child, the house is full of noise because of TV so pag back to school na, wala na manonood ng TV. 🙂
Wow. what an amazing post. Always taught my kids to think more than it seems, always two sides of the story.
That sounds like an amazing school. Girl you are one strong Mama! 5 boys!?!?! YASSS!!! Thank you for sharing your story and your resources!
I agree, we sometimes focus on the small things too often that we forget about the bigger picture. It’s a good reminder for all of us. And yes, the little things can really get to you when you have kids running around the house. But really, they’re all things that you’ll miss when they’re older. My kids now have their own homes and their own kids!
Love this so so much! We are always so focused on the bigger problems things and it’s the small things that mean the most.
I loved reading this! I don’t have kids yet but will definitely refer back to this when I do because I loved the picture analogy you carried throughout!
Ang interesting pala ng systems thinking. Ang applicable nya sa ating mga nanay noh! Thanks for sharing sis!
This is such a good perspective! It’s so easy to get bogged down with all the little details in life it’s so easy to forget about the big picture.
A big family is a always a happy family. Kami 7 kami masaya at nakakatuwa pag malaki na lahat kasi don mo talaga ma appreciate ang tunay na kaligayahan ng isang masayang pamilya. That’s why I am so proud of you kasi di madali ang responsibilidad mo.
You have a good perspective. Sometimes we focus on small things and not the big picture which gives us more happiness.
I try to look at the bigger picture over all as focusing on the here and now all the time can have you feeling too stuck in a rut x
I love the thought of looking at the big picture. It is easy to get upset about the little things but in the big picture we could use that negative energy for happy times.
I am a bigger picture thinker. I am an Aquarius, yes it is ok to be concerned but to no panic or sweat the small stuff all the time will make things easier.
I love applying logic & reason to everyday things and life. That picture has got a lot to say! Systems approach is really necessary for so many aspects in life! Thanks for sharing the bigger picture! 🙂
You have such a positive perspective! I enjoyed reading this post!
great advice. I’m going to try some of this system. Saving this post to read back later tonight.