He made it!
I secretly prayed for his safety, though. I got a text report from school that my Second Son was able to reach school at 7:15 am. He was 15 minutes late, but the important thing was, he got to school safe and sound.
It was his first time to commute alone. He must have lived a sheltered life that at age 14, he isn’t allowed to leave home without a guardian by his side. But yesterday was different.
We had an argument.
It hurt me so much he slammed the door, though not in my face, but behind my back. He answered back as well, much to my disappointment. I asked husband to talk to his son but he dismissed my request. From then on, I told him I will never talk to him ever. And as for my 14-year-old boy, I will leave him and let him mind his own business. After all, he has his father’s back.
That’s the reason, too, that I didn’t wake him up at 4 am yesterday. As usual, I woke up earlier than 4 am to cook breakfast, lunch, and school baon. By 5 am, the school bus arrived and I told the driver my son will not join the service that day.
It was already 5:30 am when Second Son realized he overslept. He hurriedly took a bath, ate breakfast, and prepared his school baon. I heard him talking to his father. His papa, though, reprimanded him then gave him P200 to commute. I was waiting for husband to tell his son to say sorry to his mother but sadly, that didn’t happen. All the more that I would want to stand like a rock and stick to my decision not to talk to either of them until they apologize to me. Call it ego perhaps. But for me, it is more of principle. More of respect.
stand like a rock
[tweetshareinline tweet=”In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current. ” username=”IfZgcz8ZKo14VSCu3y8ejhrBGaCG*R!N:1:0″]
– Thomas Jefferson, 3rd U.S. President
It remains a challenge for me to understand and even coexist with my teenager. Don’t get me wrong. He remains respectful and kind. But he can be real strong headed and he truly speaks his mind if pushed.
I went to our room and tried to find peace. That day, I knew my mind was being controlled by my own reaction, judgment, and pride even. My heart, on the contrary, urged me to opt for an easy way out – just let go.
But I couldn’t. Or I did not want to. Part of me wanted them to realize that they did me wrong. And I am not about to let them walk all over me.
follow your heart
However, I know that if I listen to my heart, such incident may happen again. It is because I wasn’t able to stress my point.
Today, a big part of me pushes myself to go for what is better for the whole – and it is opting what my heart dictates.
I opt to take a break and catch more sleep. By the time I open my eyes again – perhaps tomorrow morning – I assume I already have a decision I wouldn’t regret. Though I am certain even without sleep, space, and thinking, I know who won between my mind and my heart.
This post reminded me of the story of my mom when she was still a child. She told me that when they were still young and they made something that hurt our grandma, it was our grandpa who will always talk with them. Our grandma just scolded them and then would talk to grandpa on what happened. After that, our grandpa would talk to them and would made them realized their mistakes. Usually grandpa would tell my mom and her siblings how much grandma loves them. My mom told me that it would not take too many days for them to say sorry to our grandma. They usually cry and would ask grandma for forgiveness.
I guess most dads are the same. Our attitude is, let him be. He needs to spread his wings. He is fourteen. Hence he wants to be the man. He is not going to be any better being protected. In fact, it is frustrating for him. Come to think about it, I forbid my parents from visiting me in school.
Cheer up. The more you let go, the more your flock comes together.
Kids now are very different, I remember when I was in grade 3, I can go to school alone but now I don’t think I would let my son go to school alone. #paranoidpaako. Good thing he made it to school. Parenting is really hard, you’re not alone. I did the same thing when my son disobeyed me, hindi ko rin kinibo. 🙂 So he prepared his own food, ate alone, washed his own dishes and after that he said sorry.
Letting go is the hardest. I cant imagine my 13 year old making his own decisions without even telling or getting my opinion or his papa. Your son is in the verge of becoming his owm person and owning up to his decisions. I do suggest you give in though. It may be hard for us parents, but a teens life is a difficult one and an open communication with us parents is very important and I think will be best.
It must be so difficult to watch someone you raised act so disrespectfully towards you.
I feel like your husband should have told your son to apologise. After all, it reinforces that you are both a strong family and it emphasises respect. Even if he is developing into an independent man, a real man should *always* respectful.
I hope this troubling time is resolved soon! x
I am at a loss of words now. I have daughters and usually things get sorted out fast.
But definitely this is not son daughter thing, it has to do more with human nature. Teen years can be difficult, you may have to be more patient with him. They often realise but often that is when they are in 20s something. Deal tactfully so that the confrontation scene doesn’t arise.
One of my friends kept telling her daughter I gave up my job so that I can raise you well and this is how you treat me. The daughter retorted – I didn’t ask you to leave it was your choice. The mom was so hurt. Here the best thing would have been not to mention her sacrifice at all. The day she becomes a mother she will understand it.
Cheer up dear. Things will settle down fast.
Wayback my teenage days, I remember my mother told me “Maiitindihan mo yang ginagawa mo pag ikaw narin ang magulang”. And now that I am a mother, I don’t know what to expect when my daughter will do the same. *virtual hug mommy* Always follow your mother’s instinct, I know everything will be ok soon 🙂
Aw… this is sad. I wish your hubby would talk to your son na to apologize. Afterall, kahit mali ka or mali sya, he should apologize first. mommy ka nya e.
I guess it was just right that your son needed that. Plus, your husband may also notice that you might have been overprotective of your son. But anyway, the both of you must need to patch up things and talk it through.
P.S. I learned how to commute when I was in my senior during high school. ✌
Cheer up mommy. i know I have long way to go since my son is one but teenagers nowadays likes to express their feelings sometimes. That’s the case with my high school students. Just pray that your husband will soon realize that apologize should be given to you because of the act of second son. They must have known that you were hurt, but were also afraid to approach first. Hoping you’ll be fine soon.
I had some arguments with my mom when I was a teenager… there are so many things that we are not agreeing about when I was at that age but eventually as I grew up I understand my mom event more and learned where she’s coming from…. right now my mom and I were super in good terms .. so maybe this is just part of him growing up .. it’s the time kasi when they started to explore things .. I’m sure he will understand everything soon
Aww. Sorry to hear your pain mommy. I was a stubborn teenager too, my mom and I quarrelled a lot even now that I am in my 20s. I don’t really know what to say other than I feel guilty of hurting my mom too, at times. When I let my anger get the best of me and my pride eat me whole. But cheer up mommy, everything gets better! Pray 🙂
I’m sorry that you had an argument with your son. You are right for standing your ground though. If it is his fault, he should be the one to apologize to you. I hope he realizes this soon. Hope all goes well ❤
It’s always heartbreaking whenever there is an argument left hanging in the family. I may not know the root cause of the argument but, at times it is needed to start the next chapter of our lives. In your son’s case, to man up. Don’t worry he’ll be just fine and y’all will be at peace with each other at the right time.
It’s the way we view ‘letting go’ that determines how we feel about it… Letting go because your child is in fact no child but is growing up and wants more responsibility and independence is not a bad thing, it’s much the opposite, You’ve raised him so well as a young one that he feels ready (that’s a good thing). And while it might be a little nerve racking know that you’ve provided him with many years of guidance, tool for life, and love. He will be fine and know that when he is not he’ll be there asking for advice… the beautiful thing about parenting is that your job is never done, you’ll always be a parent in need.
As for the attitude, show that you understand his frustrations but even still you would like respect in return.
Everything is going to be okay!
I’m not there yet, my kid is only 12. I agree with Robert, let him spread his wings a bit more, but continue praying for him. lay your hands on his pillows when he’s away and continue to pray for him. According to a friend, ganun daw talaga pag nagbibinata. They are starting to figure out themselves, and a mom’s best weapon is to pray for her child consistently and persistently. 🙂 HUGS!
It is not easy to deal with teenagers right? I remember my teens and now I feel really sorry for my parents. Your son is trying to find answers about himself right now and he is probably not sure if he is still a boy or a young man. Don’t take it hard on yourself but also don’t let him act like that anymore. And don’t expect a lot from your husband too, he is still a teen also, trust me.