He made it!
I secretly prayed for his safety, though. I got a text report from school that my Second Son was able to reach school at 7:15 am. He was 15 minutes late, but the important thing was, he got to school safe and sound.
It was his first time to commute alone. He must have lived a sheltered life that at age 14, he isn’t allowed to leave home without a guardian by his side. But yesterday was different.
We had an argument.
It hurt me so much he slammed the door, though not in my face, but behind my back. He answered back as well, much to my disappointment. I asked husband to talk to his son but he dismissed my request. From then on, I told him I will never talk to him ever. And as for my 14-year-old boy, I will leave him and let him mind his own business. After all, he has his father’s back.
That’s the reason, too, that I didn’t wake him up at 4 am yesterday. As usual, I woke up earlier than 4 am to cook breakfast, lunch, and school baon. By 5 am, the school bus arrived and I told the driver my son will not join the service that day.
It was already 5:30 am when Second Son realized he overslept. He hurriedly took a bath, ate breakfast, and prepared his school baon. I heard him talking to his father. His papa, though, reprimanded him then gave him P200 to commute. I was waiting for husband to tell his son to say sorry to his mother but sadly, that didn’t happen. All the more that I would want to stand like a rock and stick to my decision not to talk to either of them until they apologize to me. Call it ego perhaps. But for me, it is more of principle. More of respect.
stand like a rock
– Thomas Jefferson, 3rd U.S. President
It remains a challenge for me to understand and even coexist with my teenager. Don’t get me wrong. He remains respectful and kind. But he can be real strong headed and he truly speaks his mind if pushed.
I went to our room and tried to find peace. That day, I knew my mind was being controlled by my own reaction, judgment, and pride even. My heart, on the contrary, urged me to opt for an easy way out – just let go.
But I couldn’t. Or I did not want to. Part of me wanted them to realize that they did me wrong. And I am not about to let them walk all over me.
follow your heart
However, I know that if I listen to my heart, such incident may happen again. It is because I wasn’t able to stress my point.
Today, a big part of me pushes myself to go for what is better for the whole – and it is opting what my heart dictates.
I opt to take a break and catch more sleep. By the time I open my eyes again – perhaps tomorrow morning – I assume I already have a decision I wouldn’t regret. Though I am certain even without sleep, space, and thinking, I know who won between my mind and my heart.