I’ve read the story of The Lion and the Dolphin to my Little Man months ago. I could not relate it to any real life situation thus banked it instead. Recently, though, the husband and this wife had a misunderstanding. And then she remembered the story of the Lion and the Dolphin.
The Lion and the Dolphin
MOMI MUSINGS | stick to his own element or work together
A lion roaming by the seashore saw a dolphin lift up its head out of the waves, and suggested that they contract an alliance, saying that of all the animals they ought to be the best friends, since the one was the king of beasts on the earth, and the other was the sovereign ruler of all the inhabitants of the ocean. The Dolphin gladly consented to this request.
Not long afterward the Lion had a combat with a wild bull and called on the Dolphin to help him. The Dolphin, though quite willing to give him assistance, was unable to do so, as he could not by any means reach the land. The Lion accused him as a traitor. The Dolphin replied, “Nay, my friend, blame not me, but Nature, which, while giving me the sovereignty of the sea, has quite denied me the power of living upon the land.”
The husband and the wife
The husband and the wife made a pact. The husband would work hard for a living to send his three boys to school and bring food to the table. The wife, on the other hand, would take care of the family and the household chores.
The husband continued his part, leaving the wife’s part her sole concern. The wife felt helpless and denied of love and understanding. In the process, it was the children who suffered much.
Let every one stick to his own element
The story of The Lion and the Dolphin taught us that we indeed have limitations. Inasmuch as the dolphin would want to help the lion, he still can’t as he could not by any means reach the land.
Perhaps it is what the husband thought as well. His responsibility as the provider is just too much to accommodate the task of his wife. They, after all, made a pact and they should stick to their own elements and responsibilities.
Work together
The wife, though, believes otherwise. It is especially in this most trying moment that they should help each other. After all, they are one family and they should work as a team. If one is able and the other is injured, the more that the able one should give rescue as the time he spent to help is not his lost but his family’s gain.
Or perhaps this mother is just experiencing some postpartum blues.
I think this is just a normal situation because everyone is adjusting with the new baby. But in time, everything will be back to normal again. Marriage is really a teamwork, wife needs to support her husband and husband needs to love his wife.
Being a mom who just gave birth less than a year ago, I understand you. It’s really hard to bounce back after giving birth, at the same time tend to the needs of everyone else in the family. My hubby really had to step up in terms of taking care of our older son and cooking our meals. Maybe you need to really sit down and talk to your husband calmly and objectively about this. Sometimes men don’t get it and we have to really speak up. Best wishes to you and this new phase in your family life. This too shall pass.
These days, everything that man can do, a woman can also do. But not vice versa, because men can’t give birth. Hehe.
Honestly, the hormones are to blame. I’m sure your husband isn’t in petiks mode naman, it’s just that you’re in a more difficult situation. Perhaps outside help is needed–mother or MIL who can help take care of the other kids while you tend to your newborn and while the hubby works for a living. Or hire a labandera/planchadora/caregiver. Or just buy food outside.
The last time we had no helper, I learned that I’d rather spend extra than to be cranky at my husband and son because I was so tired.
Take care!
This is a tricky scenario. Sometimes, we think we did our part already and stop na since we already fulfilled our part. Sometimes naman we think, we need help talaga. A sit down discussion would really improve this situation. We must think na husbands and wives need not divided the tasks 50-50… it should always be 100-100. Give it your all.
I like how you said it. 100-100. A sit down discussion is really needed. My problem though is i just do not want to complain and tell him my concerns. But in time I know i will talk to him. Thanks.
The first few months of Nate as a newborn was the most challenging phase in our life as husband and wife. We would always fight because of the lack of rest and the need to take care of the newborn. Take note, we help through my MIL, how much more you na walang help. 🙁 Stay strong. I hope everything will be alright soon. 🙁
I remember 3 days after I gave birth to Cloud, I cried so hard because I felt helpless. My nipples sore, fresh wound on my belly, sleepless nights and Cloud keeps crying. Nagpatong patong na sila. Tapos si hubby andun lang, natutulog hahaha. Nakakainis na ewan. Buti nalang nawala na din yung ganung feeling nung ilang araw.
Post partum lang yan hehe. Get well soon.