MOMI LEARNS| Do not expect constancy in others if you have none yourself

Jun 29, 2017 | Only Berlin

Have you heard of the story of the Rose and the Butterfly?  It has such a beautiful lesson that made me realize one thing – I have been wasting my time being angry and frustrated.  For months,  I took my loved ones for granted because I just hate one thing I could never change.  Now, I will restart from where I should have been long ago –


Do not expect constancy in others if you have none yourself

Do not expect constancy in others if you have none yourself

A Butterfly once fell in love with a beautiful Rose. The Rose was not indifferent, for the Butterfly’s wings were powdered in a charming pattern of gold and silver. And so, when he fluttered near and told how he loved her, she blushed rosily and said yes. After much pretty love-making and many whispered vows of constancy, the Butterfly took a tender leave of his sweetheart.

But alas! It was a long time before he came back to her.

“Is this your constancy?” she exclaimed tearfully. “It is ages since you went away, and all the time, you have been carrying on with all sorts of flowers. I saw you kiss Miss Geranium, and you fluttered around Miss Mignonette until Honey Bee chased you away. I wish he had stung you!”

“Constancy!” laughed the Butterfly. “I had no sooner left you than I saw Zephyr kissing you. You carried on scandalously with Mr. Bumble Bee and you made eyes at every single Bug you could see. You can’t expect any constancy from me!”


There was once a mother who only thought of her boys.  She spoke fondly about them.  She loved them so much and that love was very evident in all her decisions and actions.  Her boys reciprocated the affection.  They also made their mother laugh and feel loved.

Until one day, life changed.  The mother learned of her unexpected pregnancy.  She became restless and moody.  She became silent. She was often frustrated and angry.  Her boys, perhaps, clueless of what to do, became silent as well.  They often whisper than talk loud.  Their actions became calculated and restricted.  They obliged but pain could be seen from their eyes.

Do not expect constancy in others if you have none yourself.

Just like what Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once said, life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes.   It is but prudent not to resist them as our refusal would only create misery and unhappiness.  Those changes are reality and let reality be reality.   I should have let that change flow forward in a natural way.  That way as well, I would have remained committed and faithful.  Now, how could I expect my boys to trust their mother again if I lost trust in myself?

I believe it isn’t too late to move forward.  And I will restart from where I am most certain –

be a mother again.

I hate to admit it, but this story-telling session I have with my little man is teaching me a lot than I expected.


  1. Janice

    Awww, Berlin. It is not too late. Maybe this story came just in time for you to realize what you need to do in your life now. It’s amazing how our experiences with our kids also teaches us mothers lessons as well.

  2. Michi

    Maybe it is the pregnancy hormones. When we are moody, it really affects our family but at least you know what to do now. Change is inevitable and constant, like what you’ve said we should learn to go with the flow. Remember the Chinese Proverb “When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills”. So it is really up to us, how we are going to adjust with changes.

  3. Nerisa

    Aw… this is a good story and has a lot of moral lesson we can learn from. This story is very nicely narrated to husbands and wives whose trust to each other are not profound.

    PS: Don’t sweat yourself too much on the pregnancy hormones. that will pass. and I’m sure your boys understand you.

  4. Ayi

    I remember a video shared by Kristina Kuzmic (she’s my lifesaver! haha!) about prioritizing ourselves first. By keeping our sanity intact, the more it will benefit the kids in the long run – and I agree! Been going through depression lately and I don’t know what’s causing it. I’m slowly picking up the pieces and reconnecting with myself again.

    Hold on mommy 🙂 Everything will heal and be better in time 🙂

  5. Above Precious Rubies

    I am praying for you, especially now that you are nearing your delivery. Yes, you’re right, it’s never too late. You have wonderful, talented and smart boys, I just adore them, and you, for being a supermom. You can do it. We are excited for baby boy.

    • momiberlin

      Thank you for the prayers. I havent given birth until now and I am in full term na. Hopefully this weekend. Thank you as well for the kind words for my boys. My only wish is for them to be God-fearing and grow up to be fine men.


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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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