We will soon be having a toddler at home. Our little boy at one year and nine months old is starting to show some uncontrolled outburst of frustration already. Others might see him as a spoiled brat while some might be thinking our son is being manipulative. But thank God I learned that his behavior is perfectly explainable. I recently attended Smart Parenting Mom Workshops on Raising Toddlers. And yes, I was enlightened. Allow me to share what we have learned from the three-hour seminar.
Raising Toddlers
Raising toddlers and dealing with temper tantrums
Children as young as two have limited vocabulary. They may have some difficulty explaining their needs. Thus they cry when they cannot get what they want. Three- to four-year-old kids, on the other hand, can already express their demands but need their parents’ guidance to grow up well-mannered.
So parents, how do we tame tantrums without losing our sanity and hurting our children in the process?
A notch below the kid’s voice
Michelle Tambunting, co-founder, and directress of Young Creative Minds Preschool, shared that in dealing with toddlers, we should keep our cool and deal with the tantrum as calmly as possible. Raising our voice would only escalate things. The more the child will scream or cry. Likewise, we are our kids’ role model and yelling back teaches them to do the same in stressed situations.
Use of repetitive words
Ms. Michelle further advised that repeating what a toddler said is a way to communicate to him that he is understood. If the little tot wants a cookie, the mom may say: “You want a cookie. Ok, mama got it. You want a cookie. I will give you a cookie after you finish your milk, ok?” This way, a parent reassured the kids that he got the message right. Likewise, it pleased the little one knowing his parent was of the same emotional state as his.
Let the kid self-regulate
Of all the tips Ms. Michelle shared, I like this the most.
Raising Toddlers
She emphasized that kids can already understand their parents especially if they speak softly and slowly. An excellent way to deal with toddler’s temper tantrum is to counter it before it happens. An example would be a constant reminder to the kid to “pack your things now as we may forget it later.”
On their trips to far places, Ms. Michelle would remind her boy to pack his toys already so when he gets bored, he has something to play with. Through this tactic, she anticipated already the possibility that her son would resort to tantrums should he gets tired on their way to some place. A way to counter her son’s weariness is to keep him busy like having a toy beside him.
Letting the kid self-regulate only means you teach your child responsibility. He feels a sense of achievement and fulfillment having fulfilled something. Such a nice way for kids to learn and absorb especially at a young age.
Be a role model
We often hear this but forget about it as well. We set rules, yet we break our own rules. A nice example Ms. Michelle shared was she only gives her boy 30 minutes of computer time, and yet her son caught her a lot of occasions facing the computer screen. To be a good model, we should make an effort to follow our rules. Know how and when to control the urge to disobey our own orders.
Raising money smart kids
Another well-loved speaker during the Smart Parenting Mom Workshop on Raising Toddlers is Ms. Arceli Tan. She is a licensed finance adviser of Insular Life. She ended the discussions with one of the most important subjects’ parents need to know, money. She talked about Financial 101 for all moms and how moms could teach their kids to be money smart.
Pay yourself first
This simply means we need to set aside a portion of our income to save before we pay the bills and buy groceries. We need to set a saving goal and leave the money alone. This way, we can save just like we allot money for the education, bills, grooming, and recreation among others.
Walk the talk
In paying oneself first, we need to be consistent. This is to show our kids that we have the good intention to save. Also, it only demonstrates to them that we are serious about this goal and they would certainly understand the value we would want to teach them.
Raising toddlers
Smart Parenting Mom Workshops on Raising Toddlers was an enlightenment. As what Ms. Leah Nemil-San Jose, Smart Parenting editor-in-chief, said during the welcome remarks, the workshop aims for parents be more confident about parenting their toddlers. Of course, sumptuous buffet and gifts were aplenty. The major sponsors – Insular Life, Belo Baby, and Calpol – and partner concessionaires – Smart Steps and Nature to Nurture – also provided a little something of their brands for moms to try.
Again, it is typical for toddlers to experience tantrums. It is a normal part of child development. It is a way for toddlers to communicate that they are hungry, uncomfortable, tired or want something. As parents, instead of becoming frustrated, we should communicate with them and show empathy. Our kids need to know and feel they are being understood. Being controlling will all the more result to noncompliance and more frustration.
So the next time my little man whines, I will speak to him calmly. Or perhaps as what Ms. Michelle said, the best way to handle temper tantrums is to prevent them.
Momi Berlin Directory
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I am glad that there are a lot of workshops like this available nowadays. I just wished we have this kind of workshops here in our city. I would love to attend. I don’t have a toddler anymore since my youngest is already 7 but a different workshop on parenting and other matters would be nice.
Anyway, I am glad you shared what you have learned. Though my children are not toddlers anymore, I am still getting a lot from this. Thank you for sharing!
Welcome. Yes, so thankful for workshops like this. Helps a lot, and learning new things every day. Sometimes, we know these things already and they all the more remind us. We sometimes tend to forget or just don’t mind.
It is really nice that there are workshops like this. The things you learned from the workshop are really very helpful. These days, there are many tips for parents on how to take care of the children from books, workshops etc. Although it differs from one family to another, it is still good that one has something to use as a guide.
I agree. Though we have different situations, still those tips coming from other parents are still sound advices. They could help us one way or another.
These tips are really helpful for parents who raise toddlers.Toddler age is really important and it is like the foundation of the life.We just passed our toddler time and now my kid is a preschooler.Toddler tantrum is the thing that I had to handle with care.At the same time,communicating with him was so important for us.As mentioned above,we used to talk with him using clear sentences,slowly and in the repetitive way.Now he is good in communication with others.And ,we also introduced him a piggy bank/coin bank.Whenever possible,I shared with him about saving money.I guess those worked. 🙂
Wow. Coming from a parent’s experience, glad that repetitive and calm way of dealing with toddlers are truly useful. All the more that I should do that to my little man. He can sometimes be a brat.
We have a new baby at home and I’m bookmarking all your posts for future reference 🙂 I agree that self-regulation is one key factor in helping a child become more responsible. Workshops like this really help a lot in forming better parent-child relationships 🙂
Couldn’t agree more on workshops like this. And congratulations on the new baby. Surely your house will be full of joy.
Toddlers are so hard, they know what they want but simply can not just tell you that yet. They are demanding lil versions of ourselves who learn through consistency! Have fun, and dont be too hard on yourself!
Hahaha.yes on the demanding versions of ourselves.
I had this experience with my sons. My eldest seldom make tantrums because he was able to communicate at an early age. My second would always cry that’s because he couldn’t express himself. 🙂
Glad to know your firstborn could communicate at any early age. I imagine him talking to you about his needs, he must be a cutie.
I can relate with traveling to far places, it is really hard to entertain kids. Nagtantrums din yung anak ko nung nacancelled ang flight namin, I think he was only 3 years old that time. Ang hirap nga naman magstay sa airport ng ilang oras, but good thing we survived it.
True. Kailangang laging handa pala tayo ng food or toy or books for the our toddlers lalo na kapag long byahe. Will take note of that talaga.
Wow, this remains a backlog for me. Hopefully, I can finish it next week. Marami din talaga akong natutunan sa workshop na to. I tried to practice them kay Nate, it’s not easy. And sometimes, I would be tempted to raise my voice. Just this morning, he threw a tantrum, I was almost at the brink of yelling at him. Thankfully, with lots of inhaling and exhaling, I was able to stop myself. Pero di easy, bes! Sakit sa heart! lol.
There are times talaga that we have our own meltdown. The mere fact we know we are being irritable means we still aim to be calm. And yes, inhaling and exhaling do help a lot.
Ay yes sa walk the talk! You can’t teach a kid to respond the right way to certain situations if you yourself do not model it under the same circumstances.
Couldn’t agree more, Ms. May 🙂
I always had trouble with all my kids’ tantrums. I have anxiety myself so it was hard to control when they were being tantrumy. These are all great tips, the magic is in following them! Good luck with toddlerdom! Have fun.