“Let me buy you a dress,” was my husband’s plea to me.
We were supposed to visit my doctor for a check up but missed the appointment. Traffic was horrible. Husband led me to the department store and asked me to choose a maternity dress. I told him no need when I saw how much each cost. Then he pleaded. “Let me buy you a dress.”
The reason behind the offer
My husband proposed to buy me a dress not because he was irritated hearing me complain about nothing more to wear. He offered because he wants to do it. It makes him feel good on knowing he can provide for his partner. Most men, as I find it, are like that. They equate being needed and providing for that need as a responsibility. Perhaps that was how “Damsel in Distress” came to be.
When I studied Literature in high school, a lot of European fairy tales feature damsels in distress. These were young ladies in trouble and in dire need of a man’s help. Exactly my situation when I can’t open a jar of jam or waiting for my husband to fix a broken light bulb. I could sense he is enjoying the idea that he is needed no matter how simple or complex the situation can be.
Indeed, men take pride in their ability to provide.
The need to be needed
I remember when I told him of my thoughts on resigning from work. His face brightened up. He assured me that we could make it and we would survive. He was waiting for me to come up with that decision and was very pleased to hear it from me finally. Not that he was insecure of my career. He has been supportive of my work. But I must say that somehow, he was a little anxious of my independence. I could almost buy anything I need, and provide for my boys’ needs and wants. I could decide for myself. So when sometimes I reach out for his help, he was more than ecstatic. He wanted to feel needed. He dislikes it when he feels I can live completely fine without a need for him.
How to manage male pride
Again, ladies. If there is one thing you need to know about dealing with gentlemen, it is how to manage male pride. I have known my husband for 25 years already. We became close because I would run to him for advice. He would help me with my projects concerning drawing and sketching. When we attended college, despite the distance of our homes and schools, he would bring me home. Nevermind if I did not invite him inside the house as my mom was against any kind of relationship at that time. He pursued me for four years. We were sweethearts for more than six years. And we still remain committed as husband and wife for 15 years now. So when yesterday he asked to let him buy me a dress, I obliged.
Let him buy you that dress.
Devoted. Compassionate, Instinctive. Berlin loves to write personal narratives, thrilling discoveries, and mommy tips that make daily living the happiest. She shares the small house with her husband and their five boys.