MOMI MUSINGS| serving two masters and what matters most

Oct 22, 2016 | Life, Love, Only Berlin

Note:  Serving two masters and what matters most is a blog entry that perhaps pretty summarizes my commitment now.  I am a stay-at-home mom and I am committed  looking after my kids.  I do not worry if they will soon grow up and live on their own.   As I always believe the time I gave to them and is continuously giving is not to secure a time for the future but to serve them now as a mother. They are always my priority.  

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. 

                                                                                                                    – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

serving two masters on work or family

March 24, 2012

I am a workaholic.  And  I admit it.  I value work very much and seldom do I avail of our company’s vacation or sick leave.  Yes, I even work even when I am not feeling well.  Because I love my work and my boss.

It was a Saturday and we do not have office work.  But I was asked to report for work because I have to cover a sales rally.  I asked my boss to consider me out.  I need to attend to my son’s recognition day.  And two days before that, I had an argument with my husband.

I asked husband to attend second son’s recognition day instead.  He begged off.  He reasoned out that he needed to attend an important seminar.  The company paid for that.

Then he texted me this –

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

In the end, I attended second son’s recognition.  I left husband in the house still busy attending to other things.  Minutes later and I was surprised.  Husband came and stayed until second son’s turn to receive his medal.

Our son’s recognition was far more important than a paid seminar.

Serving two masters and what matters most/ During bunso’s graduation rites a day after second son’s recognition day.  He got a small Sampaguita from his garland and gave it to me. “This is for you, mama.”

serving two masters on work and family still

October 20, 2016

It was a Thursday and classes were suspended.  I already resigned from my corporate work more than a year ago and stay at home to look after the boys.  Husband, on the other hand, works like a horse.  He needs to earn money to pay the bills, tuition fee, and food.

Four days before October 20, husband and I had a misunderstanding.  He left the house with a few of his things and swore not to be back.  I felt sad.  Though I somehow hate him that day,  still, I want him home.  October 20 was his birthday, and he preferred pride over his family.

I woke up early to cook.   Though he might not be home, I still would want to cook for him.   Then I saw the electric fan moving.  I was surprised.  I saw him sleeping on the floor.  He went home last night.

I smiled and proceeded to cook at the kitchen.  Then I felt husband’s warm hug against my back and heard his sweet apologies. My eyes welled up with tears.  I remembered husband’s text message nearly four years ago.  

Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.

 

Final thoughts

Indeed, no one can serve two masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  We may not give all our time to our family as it may conflict with our work.  Also, pride  can destroy our relationship.  If we refuse to give-in and remain stubborn, then we are serving more ourselves than nurturing our relationship.  But if we value our family more than pride, work or anything else, then our family would always be our priority.  It wouldn’t be difficult to decide then.

31 Comments

  1. Laura Dennis

    You are exactly right. You won’t get these days back and there will be plenty of time for work and other things later.

    Reply
  2. Michi

    My husband is workaholic too, he seldom uses his SL and VL and he even works on weekends and holidays even without pay. So I don’t regret being a SAHM so I can be present always to my son’s needs especially if I need to go to school. But so far, my husband never miss any special event pa. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Chessy

    What a timely reminder! I’ve been feeling extra tired looking after the kids but yeah they’re the ones that matter.

    Reply
  4. roby

    working moms face this everyday and it is very hard to juggle career and family life. work-life balance is my mantra.

    Reply
  5. Above Precious Rubies

    Now I understand why you are able to do so many things! Workaholic ka pala! Bakit ako, sleepaholic? huhuhaha. But, yes, very much agree sa text.

    Reply
  6. Liz A

    Well, I don’t have a husband (yet! Still believing that he will soon arrive ) but I can relate to being a workaholic. I used to work an average of 14-16hrs a day, rarely use SL and VL (I only use it to secure a teo-week Christmas vacation and that was it). But now that I have my son and is now living with me (he used to live with my mom in Baguio because we didn’t have a nanny back then), I am learning to take it easy on everything else while I prioritize my son’s needs. Love the reminder. I’ll have to copy that and post it where I will always see it to remind me what’s important

    Reply
  7. Gracie

    I agree, its hard to serve two masters at the same time. That’s why it should be clear to us on what are “our priorities” in life. Ano? And so happy for you sis na ok na kayo ni husband mo yey!

    Reply
  8. Nerisa

    Your husband’s text message is something I will always remember. There are times kasi na I really value the things that are of lesser importance than what I more important. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  9. Michelle

    OMG Momi Berlin! No joke ah. Naluluha ako on the last part of this post. Huhu! Siguro preggy hormones lang din. Pero at least, okay na kayo ni husband. Tama si Nilyn, I always wonder too kung paano mo nagagawa ang napakaraming bagay and you have 4 boys to take care of. Super strong mo! 😀 And here I am, I only have one tot and another baby on the way pero parang pagod everyday! Hahaha! You’re one of my mommy inspirations, sa totoo lang. 🙂 Smile ka na! 🙂

    Reply
  10. Gilian

    I had to stop working years ago to commit my time to my family. Though others see it as easy because husband could afford, I knew it would be a great sacrifice in lifestyle and me as someone who wants to be productive and work, but family has become a priority. 🙂 back then it was heartbreaking because all I could see were running toddlers, now that they are well trained, somehow, I see the fruit and it feels great to have prioritized what matters most.:) Great piece of your heart there.

    Reply
  11. juvy ann

    Moms who are able to strike perfect work and home balance are true super moms. My mother is a working mom while running a household with 3 kids, dad as the story goes is a workaholic (who seems to love overtime, we seldom attends school activities). Looking back I don’t know how she even manages. Though we have househelps, my mom was still pretty hands on. She cooks for us every day and prepares our baon too. Dress and sends us to school, helps us in our assignments and projects. And gets to attend all our events at school. She is a real super mom!

    Reply
  12. Mommy Queenelizabeth

    I agree with you! This is bery true. That is why i really set my priorities and i know my priorities are my kids and so i have to leave my profession and focus on my family while my husband is working abroad too.. “No amount of success in the workplace, however great can compensate for failure at home..” favorite mantra of all time…

    Reply
  13. Alaine

    I almost cried reading your post. I remember my husband being workaholic that he neglected to take good care of his health. He just recovered from tuberculosis. I still think that it is God’s way of telling him to take things slow.

    Reply
  14. Cheryl F

    I’m a single mom but in very good terms with my son’s father. I used to be workaholic too. I gave up work when I got pregnant. I’ll probably look for a job again when my son is 5 years old already. And yes I agree, you really can’t serve two masters. Focusing on what matters most is really important. And no to pride, it destroys almost everything. And your husband text really has deep meaning.

    Reply
  15. Maria Teresa Figuerres

    I love this post, I almost cried! Indeed, family is the most important thing in our lives, next to God.

    Reply
  16. Janice

    Such a nice quote. I super love it! Copying it right now. 🙂 I really needed to be reminded of this since I’ve been trying to multitask so much even during the week I gave birth (only 6 weeks ago!). I really had to let go of the least important tasks so that I could focus on our new baby and on taking care of myself so that I could recuperate.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      It is indeed a good reminder. And glad husband shared that to me. We sometimes need to be reminded once in a while. Hope the quote would be of great help to us.

      Reply
  17. Ma.Me.Mi.Mommy

    I’ll keep that message in mind. The husband’s a workaholic too but at least he’s able to attend some of the kids’ events if they fall on the weekend. I’m grateful for that. 🙂

    Reply
  18. Shalene R | PurplePieces.com

    Very inspirational blog post mommy! I believe in striking the right balance between work and family, but still, my heart will always choose the more important aspect of my life — my kids. Right now I’m a stay at home mom, and although I’m not loving every minute of it, it will still be my choice even when I have to choose over and over again. 🙂

    Reply
  19. Celerhina Aubrey

    Aaaawww.. I love this. You have a wonderful husband who loves you and your family dearly.

    Reply
  20. Maan

    Oh my gosh, this post totally speaks to the heart. Right now I’m worried I’m not being “mum enough” for my son because the whole day I’m working, albeit at home, and I do real estate at the side too. How I pray I can finally attain the right work-life balance!

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      You will, in time. Or perhaps you’ve already achieved that right work-life balance. Sometimes, we are just being too harsh on ourselves.

      Reply
  21. edel

    This post made me teary-eyed. Glad that your relationship with your husband is okay now 🙂

    Reply
  22. Nhessie

    You are so right. To me,my kids will always, always come first.

    Reply
  23. Mommy Anna

    I am a working mom and there are times that I am a workaholic but my number one priority is my son, as much as possible I am present in all his activities and I am the one who is in charge all his needs. As much as I wanted to be a SAHM I can’t. I am lucky that I have a supportive boss and family that is why I can manage my time. But there are times of course that I am torn between work and family and choosing between them is one of the hardest thing also

    Reply
  24. Rowena Wendy Lei

    It’s really hard to remain balanced with everything that needs to be done.

    Reply
  25. Angel Caronongan-Enero

    Mommy, we haven’t met personally but really I want to hug to right now. I’m teary-eyed right now. I am a working mom and been bed rest for 2 months. I am a full-time mom until December and I really wish to be a full-time mom like you. My husband and I were married for 2 years and we were like aso’t pusa all the time (especially now that we have a toddler). Ang hirap ng buhay mag-asawa, pero I believed na give and take lang talaga.

    “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” I can relate. This is my #QOTD 🙂

    Reply
  26. TweenselMom

    I’m glad that you realized what matters most for your family. Different households have unique set-ups and prioritize different things. The most important thing is that we find time to find personal happiness, apart from the happiness of the family. Kasi eventually, kahit gaano tayo kasaya for having a completely functional family, you will still seek what will make you happy as an individual. May kailangan lang talaga unahin minsan.

    Reply
  27. Teresa Martinez

    Life is really stressful nowadays because of the so many “important things” we need to attend to but we have to choose our priorities so we will not end up being sorry for the choices we make.

    Reply
  28. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen

    No one can really serve two masters at a time. At home, our motto is “Family comes first”.

    Reply
  29. Louisa

    It’s really a matter of priorities. I admire women who choose to work at home or stay at home to be with their kids. You have a great husband there. Though there are disagreements he’s there for the moments that matter.

    Reply

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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