Note: No peer pressure is a letter from a mom to her firstborn. She wrote this about three years ago when her son showed signs he can make decisions of his own. She is now posting it with high hopes her eldest son will chance upon this letter. It would make her happier if her three other boys read this and learn from their Kuya firstborn.
Dear Firstborn,
When you were just our little baby, I decide what you will wear for the day. I even arrange play dates with children I only approved of.
Now that you are a growing boy about to reach his teen years, you decide who your friends are and what clothes you will wear.
You have been very vocal of your own choices. Perhaps, most of your decisions are influenced by your peer’s choices and reactions. You do not want to be the laughing-stock thus you go with the flow. Or maybe it is human nature to listen and copy your own age group’s choices.
I remember when we bought your school shoes last Sunday. You opted for a very pointed black leather shoes. You told me most boys in your school wear that kind of shoes. When we had our monthly grocery, you asked me if it’s ok that you grab a bottle of styling gel for your hair. You also wear your baseball cap very differently from your two other brothers. You have grown to be fashionable and started to have your own style.
No peer pressure/ The very pointed school shoes you preferred which most boys in your school also wear.
Perhaps, you’ve been spending more time with your peers than you do with us — your parents and siblings — and they have influenced you greatly seeing now by the way you dress and act.
no peer pressure
I pray to the Lord that He guides you to make the wisest choices and decisions. that you do not end up in a sticky peer pressure situation. That no matter how unpopular your decisions may be — perhaps, even making you one uncool dude to your group — you know deep inside you that those were the most appropriate decisions. And that you would always decide and choose based on the principles we’ve always taught you.
I have seen how peer pressure can be so helpful and be so mean. But it would always be your courageous self who would make a difference to go with the flow or refuse to go along.
Good luck, my firstborn. You have the potential to make a difference. Be a cool dude and make your parents be proud of you even more.
Love,
Momi Berlin
Peer pressure is both good and bad. Being in the company of responsible boys, your kid would be influenced to be the same. On the other hand, we know what it could be like if your son were with the wrong kids. Peer pressure is a concern, but you have brought your son very well, so the foundation is strong and being influenced the wrong way probably is not going to work. 🙂 Gotta trust them to be a man too.
I guess it’s natural for moms to really think about their kid’s futures. One of the most touching ones I had with my mom is accidentally seeing her bucket lists. It includes: Stop worrying about the kids. We’re all grown ups (youngest at 21) and I’ve moved out of the house. But she still thinks a lot about us.
It’s inevitable for moms to stop worrying or not worry at all. Even if they know that you are doing well wherever you may be, they would still be that cute clingy mom that would nag at times and would send random messages and ask if how are you doing. Peer pressure can be a good thing or a bad thing. I know your first born will be whispered by so many but I feel that he’s strong enough not to be that deviant at all. 🙂
Aw such a sweet letter to your son. I think it’s important children make their own decisions (with guidance from parents of course) and to not get sucked into peer pressure! I know it’s hard and we’ve all done it at one point in our lives but most importantly; we need to be ourselves!
*sigh* Reading your posts makes me “flash forward” when my daughters are all grown up. Yes, I’d like to teach them to not give in to peer pressure too. But we better start early. Teach them about the good and the bad and hopefully when they grow up, they will learn to choose for themselves. I admit, even I do some stupid stuff my parents would probably disapprove of. I just hope and pray they make the right decisions.
Hay, I dread the day I write the same letter to my eldest, lalo na that I have a girl. I personally think girls are more susceptible to peer pressure, especially seeing first hand how mean some girls can be. Like you, I pray and hope that she’ll grow up with her own resolve and be able to differentiate the good from the bad.
I still have 7 years to prepare for this one, but seven years is so short. And this is one of the reality of every parents that when our kids encounter peer pressure, it will be in a negative or positive way. That is why we are here to guide them when they are on this stage already.