I am 38 years old, and I have always thought I would be in my prime when I am at this age.
I start to feel back pain, and my right hand would ache, perhaps because of too much scrubbing (scrubbing the floor tiles, the bathroom tiles, the lavatory, and even the carpet). Then the discomfort I am feeling for my right hand seems to be a permanent thing. I guess carrying my little munchkin too much triggered the pain. And my right hand would ache more when I cook. The boys are already used to hearing my sudden “aray” whenever my right hand hurts. Then there will always be somebody to rush by my side to help.
Never mind then if my right hand is weak. That it cannot anymore carry heavy loads. I always have a husband who offers to chop the hard-to-cut vegetables anyway. He takes the heavy casserole and even scrubs it for me. More often than not, I always have my first born to sweep and mop the floor. He comes ready, too, to stir that soup I am cooking. Or my second son is at my side to open that bottle of vitamins or that jar of my favorite nata de coco. Big bunso is always there to fetch me water and even carry my water jug upstairs.
I am aging. Time will come I may be unable to stand and would depend on someone to do things for me. I fear losing control of the stuff on my grasp. But my heart says otherwise.
As I recall all the years I have spent with my boys — those sleepless nights I would carry them all in my arms and cradle them to sleep; those first stumble and get-up-you-can-do-it exercises; those first day at school walks; and those frequent carry-me-I-am-too-sleepy-to-walk episodes – the more I am encouraged that I should not worry.
Because those efforts boost my confidence in my boys.
In all those efforts, I use my hands to steady my three boys as they toddled. And these are the same hands I am using to nurse my five-month-old little munchkin.
And this early, with the help I am getting from the boys, the everyday responsibilities I am doing for them are all worth the effort – worth the love – because they are being given back to me a hundredfold.
Lesson learned today, cliche as it may sound, but truly —
Love and you shall be loved.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Devoted. Compassionate, Instinctive. Berlin loves to write personal narratives, thrilling discoveries, and mommy tips that make daily living the happiest. She shares the small house with her husband and their five boys.