Be selective of your battles. Sometimes, peace is better than being right.
I have a dear friend who like me, fights for what is right. She is one outspoken lady who prefers to tell the truth than hide it. She never tolerates injustices. She is a lawyer, and a good one.
At her work, almost everyone would want to advance his career and secure a top management position. Unfortunately, this ambition drives them to hurt someone in the process and they seem not to care at all. The recent victim of these ambitious individuals is my friend.
Though alone, she fights them with all her might. And even in her battles, she fights fairly. Recently, her health is suffering because of too much stress at work. Those battles aren’t doing her any good.
Thus, when I spoke to her a few weeks ago, I shared with her an old adage I have come to believe and love.
Be selective of your battles. Sometimes, peace is better than being right.
Though our ego tells us to fight back and never let those ambitious induviduals* oppress us, sometimes, it is best to keep our silence. Being quiet, though, doesn’t mean we are coward. Nor does it show we are allowing them to undermine us.
Keeping our silence means we are keeping our class and character. We do not fight the fight they throw against us. They play dirty because it is their character. Doing the same only makes us be like them.
My friend and I had breakfast a few days ago. I checked on her and she appeared happier. She already recovered from the flu that hit her weeks ago. We laughed almost the whole morning. I didn’t ask her about those induviduals anymore. She looked too happy I prefer not to ruin her day.
Silence your ego
I have come to realize that what my friend did was something too commendable. It is in her character to fight and speak and yet she chose to silence her ego. She didn’t use what she learned from law school to speak her mind. She didn’t apply what her job dictates her to do to fight back.
She let those induviduals be induviduals while she opted to not be affected.
Sometimes, to get the peace we aim for, we need to disregard justice and what is right. We simply need to be cool and still.
It is not indifference, I believe. It is more of character.
MOMI LEARNS Be selective of your battles
Again, Momi Berlin learns we need not fight all battles thrown our way. Sometimes, the best defense is silence. If they play dirty, let them be while we maintain our character.
* induviduals are how Dilbert refer those individuals who aren’t smart enough.
wise words indeed! the world is not just black and white (actually most of the time they’re grey) and many times we actually lose more by being right. some battles are just not worth fighting and we should all learn when it’s time to take the high road.
i like how you said it – not all battles are worth fighting for. i hope i will always be reminded of this as well as sometimes, I can be real mean when I opt to.
Couldn’t agree more! Some even pick fights for no reason at all. Frankly, it could be just a waste of precious time. Sometimes, pride is the reason why others fight. They can’t accept that someone can do better than them. It’s tiring even just to hear about it. And sometimes, we just have to do the art of deadma.
I agree to some points but some points I don’t. It’s true that you need to be selective with your battles. But what I can’t tolerate is you just letting other people do bad things in the most unfair manner. I mean if we see something is not just and right, and it will also do harm others, I think we should speak up. Sometimes we should be selfless and think for the good of the majority and what is right.
This is so inspiring. I can truly relate to your friend, somehow I’m truly like her. I really love the fact that she called you and you have enlightened her with so much care and love. I’m again reminded of this phrase “Peace is better than being right”. This is something I can ponder for this week. Thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom with us. I’m really touched of it.
This is also a reminder to me that sometimes, peace is better than being right. Perhaps it is our ego speaking and not really what is morally right.
This is one lesson I learned the hard way. I always want to get my way, and if someone crosses me, I make sure to give them a piece of my mind. But if I let every little thing affect me, it’s only going to stress me out. It really is better to just let some things go and pick your battles. Not every battle has to be won.
yes, inasmuch as we would like to always speak our mind, sometimes there are fights we rather should not mind at all. not only for peace but for our sake as well.
This is really helpful post.Peace is better than being right.This is what I believe most of the time.So,I keep silent on many issues.But if I really cannot bare the person and the behavior,I open my mouth!But,that is always a disaster for me.Most of such issues,I was judged as someone who fights making the other party innocent!But still,I believe peace is better than being right! 🙂
That is the bad side of speaking out sometimes. You tend to be accused as the antagonist. Life can sometimes be unfair and even I cant understand that.
Someone once told me that no matter what the others try to do or say about us, we are the only ones responsable about how we chose to feel about it. And I think she was so right! Yes, some battles are not worth fighting for but some are. And we shouldn’t let them affect us or our happiness. Most of the people do things without thinking that they are hurting others. And we should always have that in mind when we fight a battle, that it is not personal.
I agree 100%. Some people will never listen to logic and reason. There is no point in wasting your time and energy trying to convince them. Ignorant people will never change. At times it is better to just walk away, even if you’re right. Just remember, people who hurt others to get ahead will never truly be happy.
I agree that we need to choose our battles. Some people are so insistent and stubborn that arguing or fighting them would just be a waste of our time. Also, I have a very busy life. I don’t have much time for drama. Hahaha I’d rather work on pursuing my dreams.
This is exactly true. As we advance in life, we should look back on who are those people that helped us and if there are people who we are hurting along the way. It won’t hurt to sometimes be reminded on where you started so that you will always keep both feet on the ground.
Choose your battles, place and time.
Think whether all the battles are worthy of fighting.
Silence your anger and observe your thoughts.
Face abuse but only until a limit.
Then act.
It is ok to be ambitious and want to make something from your life. But one has to keep his or hers feet on the ground and be realistic too. You don’t have to fight or win all battles, as long as you win the war. If you decide to fight in every battle then you might end up fighting with windmills like Don Quixote. And that is wasting of life, sadly.
I absolutely agree with what you stated. There are some fights that we can’t win. We just have to let it be. The more difficult it is, all the more the strength of our character is displayed. If we have successfully overcome, we come out happier.
🙂 yes, let go and hope that the other person realizes his faults, too. but if he doesn’t, might as well avoid him at all cost. for sure, time will come he will just keep his silence because he isnt hearing or seeing anything from you.