Parenting can be overwhelming. With a household to manage and kids to look after, being a parent can be tough. Plus there are other things to consider such as being a spouse to your partner or being a son or daughter to your parent. The list may go on which makes it too difficult for most to enjoy their role as a parent.
Momi Berlin comes up with the top 11 secrets to being a happy parent.
Be present
MOMI SHARES| The Secret to Happier Parenting
You may be too old for daydreaming but you still entertain the thought. Sometimes, you even go back to the past and at other times, imagine your future with make-belief thoughts.
Enjoy the moment with your family at present. If there are things and relationships to improve, act now. Thinking about a beautiful family is futile, an action is needed.
Have a vision
As all companies start with a vision, so is forming a family. As a parent, establish what kind of a family you would like to have and work on that vision. Nurture your kids based on the values you’ve envisioned and stick to those values as well.
Set kindness as a guiding principle
This encompasses everything. As a guiding principle in every household, each member will be conscious to take part and act with kindness. To be kind doesn’t limit to your own family only but to almost everyone you deal with, even to strangers. Cliché yet true, the more kindness you put into the world, the more kindness that comes back to you.
Do not compare
You are different from other parents, same as your kids are different from other children. Often, you feel dissatisfied and miserable because you tend to compare yourself and your children to others. Enjoy your family as they are and never mind other families’ dealings.
MOMI SHARES| The Secret to Happier Parenting
Limit exposure to negativity
What you don’t know won’t kill you, as the old adage says. You need not know as well everything that is happening in the world, or at least those gory details. Surround yourself with good news and positivity will be abundant.
You are not alone
In a family, there are two parents. Thus there is a husband and a wife. Though you have already identified the core duties and responsibilities of each, it doesn’t mean you cannot count on the other for help. Ask for help when help is needed. Some families are even lucky to have relatives living with them. Utilize their presence. Again, all you need to do is reach out and ask for help. Do not be a martyr.
Let it go
You may fail as a parent today but that doesn’t mean you will forever be a failure. You still have tomorrow to show you have changed or improved. Let go of yesterday’s mistakes and start anew. Treat each day as a new day. Make a fresh start.
This applies as well on how you treat your family members. Often, it stresses you to repeatedly remind the kids to clean their room, for instance. How about let it go? Perhaps with weeks of untidy room, they will come to their senses and see the mess. They will surely tidy their place if they constantly see the other rooms are clean except theirs. They only need time. That perhaps is the purpose of bedroom door as well. In order for parents not to see what is behind those doors.
Let children be children
As a parent, it is your responsibility to discipline your youngsters. However, in the process, you forget that children are children. They can be playful and giddy. Let them enjoy the moment as they will also grow up and learn to act as adults. Let them be.
You can never expect them to be the mini version of you. Your kids are their own individuals. Let them celebrate and enjoy their uniqueness by accepting them as they are. If there is undesirable behavior that needs change, be a parent then but do it courteously.
MOMI SHARES| The Secret to Happier Parenting
Be Spontaneous
Sometimes, routine and rules limit us. Instead of planning everything, make an effort to surprise your family. Pick the kids from school once in a while and have some burgers and milk shake before going home. Hold a barbecue party one weekend. If the kids asked for the reason, tell them you were able to catch some fresh meat when you had your market visit yesterday. Sometimes, the best memories are those on the spur of the moment experiences.
Enjoy life
You are a parent but that does not mean you need to be serious all the time. Enjoy life as life is meant to be enjoyed. Though you need to take the household, family business, and other responsibilities seriously, it doesn’t mean you can’t smile or even take a break.
Play if your kids invite you to join them. Sleep if you need to close your eyes. It is not a grave sin to rest if you need it as well.
If you feel like dressing up even if you only stay at home, by all means, flaunt that beautiful dress. Put some makeup if you wish to. Again, life is to be enjoyed. Whenever you are happy, it will surely reflect on the clean house, abundant food on the table, and a happy home atmosphere.
Take care of yourself
To better serve your family, you need to take care of your own needs. Pamper yourself once in a while. By doing so, you will feel recharged and even more motivated to do your task as a parent. Again, as rest isn’t a grave sin, so is once a month spa or massage treatment not a luxury. These are but small perks of being a parent.
The Secret to Happier Parenting
MOMI SHARES| The Secret to Happier Parenting
It is already given. Being a parent means looking after your children and tending to other child-rearing obligations. Stressing yourself of everyday concerns would only make you grumpy which may even affect your relationship with your family. Instead, decide and choose to enjoy life, particularly being a parent. All it takes is to accept that responsibility and make a mindful effort to choose happiness over protest. You can’t undo everything and abandon your children anyway. Might as well be a good and a happy parent. You’re doing the world a favor by bringing up responsible and happy future parents.
great tips on being a happier parents. Many times comparing with each other and sending a high standard for ourselves gives us stress and makes us grumpy parents.
i couldn’t agree more on the high standard and compare part. Every family is unique so we really have to be thankful for what we have. We also should have the courage to make improvements should we see the need to so we may be contented.
I love these list of yours, Momi Berlin! It is worth sharing. Especially the last one. It’s always being ignored most of the time especially for us moms. But having me time talaga helps you become a better mom and a better version of yourself. No matter how difficult the situation is or how hectic your schedule is, we must still find the time to take care of ourselves. I find myself being masungit kapag sobrang pagod na talaga ako. It’s a signal that I need to rest na.
Would appreciate your help to share the list, please. I wrote this to remind myself especially of the last part, too. I need to really have a break and find myself. I am more of a pain to my boys because i would often cry, get irritated or just be still.
Nice post and I agree with all the tips that you shared. There are times that I stay away from my social media and avoid watching the news because I want to limit my exposure to negativity. And whenever I browse my newsfeed, “Don’t compare and rejoice when others are blessed” is also my motto.
I seldom visit my friends’ page. I would only be maiinggit of their travels or newly bought items. eheheh. though now, I have to come to accept that we all have our different lucks and perhaps their blessings aren’t meant for me.
I like everything you listed here, mommy, especially the ones about teaching/showing kids kindness and letting children be children. Too often, parents “pressure” their kids and expect them to become perfect little people, forgetting that children are just that: children.
Thank you for a dose of inspiration about parenting. I need these! It really is very challenging and oftentimes, frustrating. It really is a must to bear in mind that we have to be present and pay attention to what our little ones are saying. It is also important to let them be kids and to let go of the small things that could affect our joy as parents and strain our relationships with our children.
I agree it’s not easy to balance everything. Especially us who have to still work at home. Almost all the time I spend on the computer (just like now), is a time for my son that’s taken away. Kaya bibilisan ko na para matapos na tong commex na ‘to. hehe. I am not a perfect mother, and if not for the help of my sister and mother-in-law, life is so much more difficult for me.
Indeed we need to thank people around us for helping us survive. This makes me then remember that I have to thank the boys for helping me with the housechores and in looking after the two small kids from time to time. Indeed we are blessed to have them in our life.
So true! These days it is hard to be present with all the distractions and things that need to be done. I also agree to let children be children. Great tips!
Thank you. But how long will they be kids? Ihihihi.
Great tips, Berlin. My secret to happier parenting is “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. This is usually hard for me because I’m OC and want everything to be perfect. But parenting has taught me to relax and enjoy the chaos. 🙂
parenting, as i’ve found out years ago, is easier said than done haha! but yes, I agree…let children be children! I enjoy my kids. a lot of other parents frown because they’re so active, but they won’t be children forever. so i just enjoy them.