MOMI MUSINGS/ Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Oct 10, 2016 | Life, Love, Only Berlin

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Often, they say we learn to appreciate a person if that individual is far from us.  Having experienced that today, I learned of something far beyond loving and missing.  I realized my life’s purpose.

This might have been my life without the boys.  Perhaps, shopping and eating out every day just to kill time before going to an empty house to sleep and wake up again for tomorrow.

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The downside of living alone is, of course, eating alone. Good thing, though, I was joined by my mother who through thick or thin, has always been there for me.

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder

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Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

My second night without the boys in the house; and  I miss them terribly.

Sometimes, I would feel so restless. I would entertain the thought of me being single just like my friends who are living a single blessedness life.  Cleaning the clutter, washing dishes, preparing three meals and snacks in a day, and washing a load of laundry are but my never-ending duties at home.  Also, I always have to rush home to look after my boys, giving me so little time for myself.

That’s my life or so I thought.  I allowed myself to be dictated by the chaos of life and work that I would feel I have been put through the spin cycle of a washing machine.  Though I believe hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies, I welcome the thought that hope burdens me more.

My realization

Again, that was the kind of life I was living until I had my me time today and realized what I truly have.  Life may be complicated and time may be not cooperative in a way, but I will not exchange the complication of my life for anything in the world.   I may sacrifice my time and resources for my family — if you would call it that way — but everything is positively rewarded.  The dictionary might define some of my acts as sacrifices that may go far beyond what is beyond, but those sacrifices are all voluntarily and lovingly accepted.

My kids are all on vacation with their father today.  I would want to join them but the demand of work decides that I be left home.  And now that we are temporarily parted, I feel the absence… the incompleteness.

With my boys nowhere beside me, I cannot sleep.  Though the silence of the night is just too beautiful, I am not that tired to go to bed.  No more sink with loads of dirty dishes to wash and  toys and books lying on the floor to keep before I hit the bed.

Lesson learned:  learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.

Written last October 30, 2014.  Reposted so as to remind this momi of that feeling when her boys were not by her side.  Sometimes, we tend to forget the lessons learned from the past.  We need to be reminded every now and then.  

11 Comments

  1. Michelle

    This is so beautiful Momi Berlin! I agree, sometimes the motherhood life is exhausting and overwhelming. I sometimes wonder, too, what freedom feels like. Especially that I am a young Momma and I still have a lot of single friends with the same age as me and I would see their travel photos as they try to live their life to the fullest. But when I look inside my heart, I know Motherhood is what makes me the best person I never thought I would become. I will never trade it for anything else. 🙂

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Your words are as inspiring. Most of my friends as well as single and they may have the money, the time and the freedom, sometimes they would tell me they still arent sure of their life’s purpose. Perhaps they have achieved so much and they would want a more challenging life. Hving kids can be real challenging. But yes. I would trade it as well for anything else.

      Reply
  2. Maria

    I totally agree. It’s somehow similar to experiencing brownout. When the power is out, we realize that electricity makes our lives more convenient and easy. I just hope we realize as well with our environment. But as others would say that it should start from within. More appreciating then!

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      I like how you analyze things and even thought of the brownout. So true.

      Reply
  3. Nya

    Even though I don’t have children, I completely understand this, since I lead a chaotically busy life myself. Once upon a time, I’ve really enjoyed living on my own, eating salads and ice cream in front of the TV and not worrying about a thing. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without my long term boyfriend; and then you see someone like me turning into a cook and housewife that I never thought I’d be. And I actually love it!( And he says my food is delicious 😀 ) Of course, without your children, even more difficult. But we do have to appreciate the life we have.

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      I couldnt agree more with you. We really need to appreciate and may I add, accept the live we have. We could improve it though if we really are pushing for it.

      Reply
  4. Above Precious Rubies

    Before I read PS, I was thinking about Yael, if he was with everyone else and you’re really left alone. hehe. This is definitely a great birthday reminder, it didn’t just reminded you, it also reminded me. And it’s certainly true, absence makes the heart grow fonder. ♥

    Reply
    • momiberlin

      Yes, it helps us think of those we love and find that live may be hard but youre willing to live the hard life basta with them.

      Reply
    • momiberlin

      Hahaha. so true. true on the absence and on the prawns. I am craving for shrimps now.

      Reply
  5. Mommy Anna

    Being a mom sometimes we want to have a me time or time alone but have to admit it that 1 hour pa lang na hindi kasama naka kamiss agad. If I am not with my boys kahit overnigt lang I terribly miss them. I agree with you that absence makes heart fonder, ang hirap 🙂

    Reply

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Motherhood, as I live it, is a gift not everyone can appreciate until she learns to truly live it. More musings and realizations, fun discoveries, and mommy tips at Momi Berlin's blog.

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