MOMI MUSINGS/  On making decisions and being free

Jan 17, 2016 | Only Berlin

Big Bunso was absent from his classes yesterday. He preferred to attend a kiddie arts festival. I showed him the other day a poster of the event and he excitedly told me “I want to be there, mama.”

And so I let him.

 IMG_0755

Yes, this mama who, as much as possible, does not want her boys to skip classes, allowed her Big Bunso to absent himself. Why? Because her son wanted to attend that art festival.

12

Big Bunso enjoys the feel of the art brush moving across his pentagon plate.

Just this morning, Second Son left as early as 7:30am for a church meeting. He is an acolyte, and has been serving our parish for nearly four years. He came home at 2:00pm which was unusual as meetings typically end before noon.  His clothes were also covered with dirt.  When asked, he told this mother he went to the nearby park after their meeting to play basketball. His mom just smiled then asked the son to accompany her buy fruit tea and hotdog sandwich for merienda. She didn’t flare up- very opposite of her usual reaction if confronted with similar incident.

5

Second son patiently waits for our fruit tea order.  He has been so quiet on our way to the Bubble Tea house, perhaps preparing himself from his mama’s nagging.

I don’t know if the kids all prayed that their mom would react differently during those two separate events. Or God must have heard this momma’s plea to help her be more loving and understanding a mother.

Or perhaps, this mother realized that yes, school is important, but it’s not the only place where children can learn. That yes, high grades are very pleasing to any one’s eyes but, those aren’t the true measurement of learning.

The art festival Big Bunso attended will not only broaden his knowledge about the arts but will also deepen his awareness and appreciation that definitely textbooks cannot seem to teach.

I hope that I could stand by my decision that though school is an important setting where my boys would learn, the world can give a better chance for them to apply these learnings. I should have done this years ago– let them see the world’s beauty and chaos.  But still, I am thankful that I finally let go of my excessively protective nature.

Second son’s decision to play basketball was perhaps an impulsive one.  On his way to the park though, I am positive that his brain sent a vision of an angry mother thus giving him the chance to turn his back and head home.  He pushed for it still and took responsibility.   He may tell his mama the truth or make up excuses, but still preferred to be honest.

That honesty was such a noble act that made me prefer to keep quiet and trust my young man.  Accepting ownership of his act was incredibly worthy of his mother’s understanding.

My two young gentlemen chose to be free — free from routine; Big Bunso of school and Second Son of house.   So why should I be angry in the first place?

THEY CHOOSE TO LIVE.  ANY MAN’S PURPOSE, AFTER ALL, IS TO LIVE AND NOT JUST EXIST.

37 Comments

  1. celin mendoza

    Ako, I am not pressuring my two kids in their school. Both of them are still young and we all know that the world out there has much to offer when it comes to their development. Good luck Mommy!

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Thank you, mommy. All the best to your kids. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Louisa Mercado

    That looks like a worthwhile activity and my eldest would have loved to attend.

    Reply
  3. Lady Anne Louise Barrun

    I said to myself I will not be too strict when my son gets old enough but I will make sure that he knows his limit. I agree with you. In this way we can have better communication with our children.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, been too strict to them once. They tend to keep secrets from me so I am opening my arms again and hopefully regain their trust and confidence.

      Reply
  4. tweenselmom

    Being protective is natural for us. I don’t think we have to make excuses on those times when we get angry. Your experiences as a mom will eventually tell you when it will be the perfect time to calm down and tackle the situation differently. This one seemed to be the perfect one.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, I agree with you. My boys now are in their tweens so I let them decide for themselves and respect that decision. As for the angry part, thank God I am improving na. Less nagging na Talaga. Ihihi.

      Reply
  5. Maan Laxa

    I love this! I tend to be a perfectionist but I think almost every inch of it vanished when my boy came. Seize the day, learning doesn’t occur just within the four walls of the classroom!

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Super agree with you, maan. 🙂

      Reply
  6. Pearliza Paguio

    I am one overprotective momma! My kids are just 6, 3 and 2 years old and i don’t let them go out and play with other kids, if i do i make sure i keep an eye on them but that rarely happens . I remember growing up in the province playing freely outdoors and I ask myself why can’t I do the same for my kids? and this makes me feel guilty especially for my eldest, Oh I just hope that I could loosen up a bit and let my kids enjoy their childhood the same way I enjoyed mine.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Ive been that kind of momma, too. Now, im loosening up somehow. My boys are growing up and if I want them to be independent and street smart, I should let them explore by themselves. But before bedtime, I always ask them of their day so I would know.

      Reply
  7. Mhaan Arambulo (@momyrockinstyle)

    I think I would do the same that letting him to skip a day in school and to attend this arts event. When my mom is still alive, she lets me decide (when I am still in school) and not reprimanding me to do what she wants me to do. As I grow up, I became independent and responsible in my own actions. I think I will do the same to my son. Of course, I will still guide him until he’s at the right age to make his own decision.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Now I know I really make the right decision having heard that from a mom. Thanks. And I must say your son is lucky to have you as his mother.

      Reply
  8. rollcoastermom

    Now that I have a third child, I’ve learned to relax more. You’re right. Learning does not just happen within the four walls of the classroom. I always like to say, the world is our classroom. 🙂

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Absolutely right, the world is our classroom. I’ve learned to take it slow now that the boys are in their tweens.

      Reply
  9. MommyPehpot

    We’re different eh.. we’re the kind of parents na disciplinarian.. we’re fun parents but we don’t go beyond bending rules.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Sticking to the rules is sometimes beneficial, too, as the kids won’t be confused sa paiba ibang rules. 🙂

      Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes. I agree 🙂

      Reply
  10. MrsMartinez

    Bilib ako sa self control mo, mommy! I hope I can do that too!

    Xoxo
    MrsMartinez

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Thank you. Was really praying hard to have the patience and thank you, our dear Lord never fails me.

      Reply
  11. Cheanne

    I wonder how strict I’ll be with my kids and their school. I do agree though that some events are really worth being absent for as learning is not constrained inside the classrooms only.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Totally agree. Yes, we tend to be strict but time will also help us to slow down and just trust our kids. Happy Monday!

      Reply
  12. Rhoda Fajardo

    I want to raise my kids that way too. And I believe that I’m doing a good job so far. As a very open-minded individual, I also believe that school is important, but it’s not the only place where children can learn. Experience is actually the best teacher (for me). Everything I know about motherhood or running a business was because of my experiences. Someday our kids will understand this in more depth.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, I agree with you. Experience is indeed the best teacher. 🙂

      Reply
  13. jennie villanueva

    it’s too early for me to tell if i would have reacted differently, but yup i guess it’s a case to case basis, and we parents can have different styles. the bottom line always is communication.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      yes, i agree with you. communication is really important in any relationship. Happy Wednesday.

      Reply
  14. Ayi

    I’m quite anxious when that day comes and my daughter will decide and insist on what they want. yet, it is part of growing up, right? 🙂

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, it is. Sometimes, they tend to compare us sa friends’ parents. If we have different parenting style and Mas lenient Ung Ibang parents, they will doubt our love for them.

      Reply
  15. Mommy Lev

    I think I’ll do the same when my son wanted to attend the same extra curricular activity.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      It relieves me every time I hear that from a fellow mom. Now I know I made the right decision. Thank you for visiting and “listening” to my story.

      Reply
  16. Jackie Park

    Have you heard of unschooling? It’s sorta like homeschooling but even more focused on the kids and giving them even more independence. Dunno if you’d consider it but just letting you know there’s such an option in case you want to give them even more freedom. 🙂

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes, attended a seminar on homeschooling last December and they enumerated kinds of homeschooling, unschooling included. I’m thinking of this option for my fourth son. Thank you so much for your valuable input, appreciate it. 🙂

      Reply
  17. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen

    I think it’s just right for us mommies to let our children be and away from their routine once ina while specially if what they do is something the can learn from.

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Yes. Learning to loosen up. Thanks. 🙂

      Reply
  18. mysliceofcake

    You are the coolest mom! – daniel (heehee)

    Reply
    • msbolin

      Haha. Turned out the art festival is better appreciated by smaller kids. Parang sya ata isa sa iilang big boys/girls dun. Ihihi.

      Reply

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