Re-blogging this post I made on Facebook about seven years ago. Pretty much the same year I started mga pahina ni msbolin. Lately, I felt my kids are avoiding my wrath. I am a complete mess. God must really love me to let me stumble upon my blog entry about motherhood. It hit me real hard because, for the past few days, I thought I am doing my boys a favor by working hard to give them food, education, and toys. I felt so tired feeding, educating, and disciplining them, when in fact, I should have remained steady and calm. Despite the so many obstacles and challenges, I have my four boys to love, cherish, and care. I almost forgot that motherhood, as I lived it before, is a gift no one could appreciate until she learns to truly live it.
And he did it again.
He woke me up at 6 am, all dressed and ready for his 8 am church meeting. I gave him money, told him to eat before leaving the house, be home right after the meeting, and to take care.
He still was not home by 2:30 pm. His meeting wrapped up at 10:30 am and my mom was already panicking. We went to the church to look for Second Son. He was not there, and we were told that all acolytes left already after the short forum.
We went to the nearby park to check. Last time he told me he went to the park to play basketball. Still, no sight of him around.
We went home. Still not there.
And I began to worry. It was already 3:00 pm.
From our house, I told my mom that we take our chances and drive to the village next to ours. She questioned my decision and said the place was too far for Second Son to consider going to. But I insisted.
Mom was slowly driving when I spotted a skinny lad standing by the waiting shed. He was with a few bystanders playing chess. And he seemed so engrossed. I told my mother to make a u-turn as I have already found my son.
From the other side of the road, my mom lowered her window and couldn’t control her temper. She shouted at Second Son to go inside the car. Second Son looked displeased.
My mom was so angry she began to chastise the poor kiddo. My boy just kept mom. I looked at my mom and muttered to stop. I wanted to talk to my son privately.
Then I asked him to tell me everything what transpired from the time he left the house until the time we found him. He narrated they got dismissed by 10:30 am, and a fellow acolyte invited him to play basketball at Goodwill Subdivision. They walked from the church to the next village and played at the park (and it was indeed a long walk) Then his companions invited him to play a war game at a computer shop, but he declined. He told them he would just go home. My son made a quick stop at 7-11 to eat hotdog then on his way home, he saw some bystanders playing chess by the waiting shed, and he just stood there and watched them play. He forgot about the time.
I would want to be anger at him. But thank God, He might have whispered into my ear to think, act and speak kindly. I told my guy we were so worried. There are news about kids getting kidnapped then returned dead with body organs missing. We do not want that to happen to him.
Sadly our world today is a dangerous place to live in. And inasmuch as we would like to trust people, there are so many evil forces looming large over the place.
That statement made him shed a tear. I did not ask if those tears were for the uncertain world or because he was caught somewhere.
“Have you eaten already,” was all I could ask after. He told me not yet. He got his plate and started eating. It was very obvious that he was real hungry. Then I just left him. I want him to enjoy his meal.
It was a Saturday. I read from one of the blog posts of one mama that there will be a free calligraphy workshop at Glorietta in Makati. I intend to attend with Second Son. This mother would want to surprise her son as he is into lettering. We were not able to take part in the workshop because of the incident.
I would want to blame second son’s new found friends. They are bad influences on them, as described by my mother. Partly, I would want to blame myself. The last time he did not also go home right after their church meeting, I just kept mum. He must have thought it’s ok not to ask permission.
And so again, dear Lord, I am asking for your guidance. I remember the first time I asked help about second son. I am here again.
Dear Father, thank you for the gift of children. Help me, please, to prepare them for eternal life. Guide me what to give and what to withhold. Caress me with your gentle love and teach me to be the same to them yet be firm. Whisper to me always when to be considerate and when to say no. Help me to be patient with them as you are with me. These I ask from you, Amen.
Ain’t no mountain high enough
I first heard of the song “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” from the movie “The Sound of Music.” Wikipedia says it is an inspirational piece to push an individual to take every step towards attaining his dreams.
In the movie, the Mother Abbess sang “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” to encourage Maria to face her fear. Maria ended up marrying the captain, the life she was meant to live.
My boys – then at the tender ages of eight, seven, and five – literally climbed a mountain on a Holy Wednesday. More than fear, it was curiosity that enveloped their minds. Their confidence was even hyped knowing their parents were behind. They hiked up Mt. Maculot and discovered that: (1) there is a store on top of the mountain; (2) there is a yellow bug living on top of the mountain; (3) there is no snow on top of the mountain.
I have a confession to make. I had my favorites. My second son was a favorite. BEFORE.
I love books. He showed keen interest in books. So I bought him not just one but sets of books. I take good care of my belongings and make sure they are neatly arranged in their respective places. Second son did exactly what I practice and even more – his colors were arranged from the lightest to the darkest shade. He finished a school year with his notebooks and books all looking almost entirely new. And he is always the fist honors of his class. BEFORE.
My second son today is the complete opposite of what he was before. His books have folds. He often forgets where he put his school ID and necktie among others. He loves his hair all messy. His books and notebooks have drawings everywhere. He often inks tattoo on his arms (using his sign pen).
Thus this mama and her second son started to have a not so harmonious relationship. She would often scold him; he all the more remains quiet, aloof, and secretive. This mama just can’t understand her once favorite son. She has become distant to him.
Understanding middle child
Husband must have felt the wall between his wife and second son. He advised his wife to read more about THE MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.
And so I did.
I do not know how to drive a car. So when I told my mom I would go to the Baby Company Grand Baby Fair, she readily offered a ride.
We came on a Saturday, and as expected, there were a lot of moms and dads shopping for their little ones. I can compare the Grand Baby Fair scenario to our subdivision’s traffic situation every Monday. Cars are heading to the north and in one lane are vehicles making their way to the south.
At the Baby Company Grand Baby Fair, almost all were busy pushing carts, making a few stops on stalls that interest them. Though jam-packed, everybody was just too courteous to let a pregnant mom go ahead or let a baby in a stroller pass first. After all, they marched to SM Megatrade Halls 1, 2 and 3 with almost the same goal — to provide their little cutie pies their needs and wants.
Unlike our last weekend, we wake up rather early this Sunday hoping to still catch some rays. Our little munchkin is again flashing his toothless smile and we just need to celebrate. His fever has subsided, his stuffy nose about to clear up. Oh, thank you, dear Lord.
“And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
– Mathew 23:12
He cannot say sorry personally. But he made it a point to get the message across by writing his thoughts on a paper. He was not aware though that I have forgiven him before his message reached me.
We are very much alike. We oftentimes conceal our emotions and prefer to speak through our pens. We are very much alike. Perhaps, because he is my son and I am his mother.
I love you, son. And yes, you are always forgiven.
We are not rich. There are a number of times that we prioritize what to pay first, even disregard those that can wait, and most often set aside our own needs just so to provide for the boys.
It’s only husband who works for the family while I am left at home to look after the three boys and now our new born baby. Aside from the daily cleaning and cooking, I am also in charge of the weekly marketing and helping the boys with their school works. Husband helps with the ironing of clothes. Getting the services of a house help will surely add up to our expenses, thus we do the cleaning ourselves. Even the boys share some household responsibilities. I know they would want to complain sometimes, wondering why they need to work at home while their classmates could play COC all day on weekends. But because they are courteous and responsible, they would rather keep to themselves their displeasure or perhaps, even resentment.
Congratulations, Big Bunso!
A weakling named Greg Heffley narrates his struggles in middle school through his Diary of a Wimpy Kid. With already nine books in the series, and two additional books: a movie diary and a do-it-yourself, the Diary of a Wimpy Kid is my big Bunso’s first book collection. He started collecting Jeff Kinney’s works two years ago. He chanced upon the first among the series in our bookshelf. Since then, he has become interested in the life story of Greg. He would request for a new copy whenever he hears its release.
This semester, he became part of his school’s honors list. I completed his collection and bought the remaining four books. Now, he is a proud collector of all 11 Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. And just before sleeping, he would always read a few pages. He would even share his books with his two older brothers.