Re-blogging this post I made on Facebook about seven years ago. Pretty much the same year I started mga pahina ni msbolin. Lately, I felt my kids are avoiding my wrath. I am a complete mess. God must really love me to let me stumble upon my blog entry about motherhood. It hit me real hard because, for the past few days, I thought I am doing my boys a favor by working hard to give them food, education, and toys. I felt so tired feeding, educating, and disciplining them, when in fact, I should have remained steady and calm. Despite the so many obstacles and challenges, I have my four boys to love, cherish, and care. I almost forgot that motherhood, as I lived it before, is a gift no one could appreciate until she learns to truly live it.
And he did it again.
He woke me up at 6 am, all dressed and ready for his 8 am church meeting. I gave him money, told him to eat before leaving the house, be home right after the meeting, and to take care.
He still was not home by 2:30 pm. His meeting wrapped up at 10:30 am and my mom was already panicking. We went to the church to look for Second Son. He was not there, and we were told that all acolytes left already after the short forum.
We went to the nearby park to check. Last time he told me he went to the park to play basketball. Still, no sight of him around.
We went home. Still not there.
And I began to worry. It was already 3:00 pm.
From our house, I told my mom that we take our chances and drive to the village next to ours. She questioned my decision and said the place was too far for Second Son to consider going to. But I insisted.
Mom was slowly driving when I spotted a skinny lad standing by the waiting shed. He was with a few bystanders playing chess. And he seemed so engrossed. I told my mother to make a u-turn as I have already found my son.
From the other side of the road, my mom lowered her window and couldn’t control her temper. She shouted at Second Son to go inside the car. Second Son looked displeased.
My mom was so angry she began to chastise the poor kiddo. My boy just kept mom. I looked at my mom and muttered to stop. I wanted to talk to my son privately.
Then I asked him to tell me everything what transpired from the time he left the house until the time we found him. He narrated they got dismissed by 10:30 am, and a fellow acolyte invited him to play basketball at Goodwill Subdivision. They walked from the church to the next village and played at the park (and it was indeed a long walk) Then his companions invited him to play a war game at a computer shop, but he declined. He told them he would just go home. My son made a quick stop at 7-11 to eat hotdog then on his way home, he saw some bystanders playing chess by the waiting shed, and he just stood there and watched them play. He forgot about the time.
I would want to be anger at him. But thank God, He might have whispered into my ear to think, act and speak kindly. I told my guy we were so worried. There are news about kids getting kidnapped then returned dead with body organs missing. We do not want that to happen to him.
Sadly our world today is a dangerous place to live in. And inasmuch as we would like to trust people, there are so many evil forces looming large over the place.
That statement made him shed a tear. I did not ask if those tears were for the uncertain world or because he was caught somewhere.
“Have you eaten already,” was all I could ask after. He told me not yet. He got his plate and started eating. It was very obvious that he was real hungry. Then I just left him. I want him to enjoy his meal.
It was a Saturday. I read from one of the blog posts of one mama that there will be a free calligraphy workshop at Glorietta in Makati. I intend to attend with Second Son. This mother would want to surprise her son as he is into lettering. We were not able to take part in the workshop because of the incident.
I would want to blame second son’s new found friends. They are bad influences on them, as described by my mother. Partly, I would want to blame myself. The last time he did not also go home right after their church meeting, I just kept mum. He must have thought it’s ok not to ask permission.
And so again, dear Lord, I am asking for your guidance. I remember the first time I asked help about second son. I am here again.
Dear Father, thank you for the gift of children. Help me, please, to prepare them for eternal life. Guide me what to give and what to withhold. Caress me with your gentle love and teach me to be the same to them yet be firm. Whisper to me always when to be considerate and when to say no. Help me to be patient with them as you are with me. These I ask from you, Amen.
Ain’t no mountain high enough
I first heard of the song “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” from the movie “The Sound of Music.” Wikipedia says it is an inspirational piece to push an individual to take every step towards attaining his dreams.
In the movie, the Mother Abbess sang “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” to encourage Maria to face her fear. Maria ended up marrying the captain, the life she was meant to live.
My boys – then at the tender ages of eight, seven, and five – literally climbed a mountain on a Holy Wednesday. More than fear, it was curiosity that enveloped their minds. Their confidence was even hyped knowing their parents were behind. They hiked up Mt. Maculot and discovered that: (1) there is a store on top of the mountain; (2) there is a yellow bug living on top of the mountain; (3) there is no snow on top of the mountain.
October 17 is my birthday. With an initial plan to file for a vacation leave, I picture myself fetching my kids at school and eating at our favorite diner. An assignment to do white water kayaking at San Jose in Tarlac surfaced that I need to forgo my plans. After all, I haven’t experienced the sports yet and why not try it on my birthday.
As my travel buddy described it, “white water kayaking involves paddling and maneuvering a kayak across river currents. The intensity of rapids may range from easy with no serious obstacles, to extremely difficult and violent depending on the weather and water level.” Seemed easy so off we went.
extreme sports cliff diving and kayaking
From my initial try, I immediately learned that I have to balance well or else, the boat will turn upside down with me in it. Also, it is best to try the sports on a rainy season with the river too deep and its flow too powerful (that it can even toss, drop or flip the kayak over the water on its own).
For those who would like to experience the rapids, San Jose Tarlac is only about four hours drive from Manila. Coordinate with the Rapid Stream Eco Tour, the sole operator of kayaking trips in the Bulsa River.
Before trying the rapids, we went through a safety briefing then drove to the mountain village of Maamot for about 20 minutes.
I have a confession to make. I had my favorites. My second son was a favorite. BEFORE.
I love books. He showed keen interest in books. So I bought him not just one but sets of books. I take good care of my belongings and make sure they are neatly arranged in their respective places. Second son did exactly what I practice and even more – his colors were arranged from the lightest to the darkest shade. He finished a school year with his notebooks and books all looking almost entirely new. And he is always the fist honors of his class. BEFORE.
My second son today is the complete opposite of what he was before. His books have folds. He often forgets where he put his school ID and necktie among others. He loves his hair all messy. His books and notebooks have drawings everywhere. He often inks tattoo on his arms (using his sign pen).
Thus this mama and her second son started to have a not so harmonious relationship. She would often scold him; he all the more remains quiet, aloof, and secretive. This mama just can’t understand her once favorite son. She has become distant to him.
Understanding middle child
Husband must have felt the wall between his wife and second son. He advised his wife to read more about THE MIDDLE CHILD SYNDROME.
And so I did.
We are not rich. There are a number of times that we prioritize what to pay first, even disregard those that can wait, and most often set aside our own needs just so to provide for the boys.
It’s only husband who works for the family while I am left at home to look after the three boys and now our new born baby. Aside from the daily cleaning and cooking, I am also in charge of the weekly marketing and helping the boys with their school works. Husband helps with the ironing of clothes. Getting the services of a house help will surely add up to our expenses, thus we do the cleaning ourselves. Even the boys share some household responsibilities. I know they would want to complain sometimes, wondering why they need to work at home while their classmates could play COC all day on weekends. But because they are courteous and responsible, they would rather keep to themselves their displeasure or perhaps, even resentment.
“Running is a sports,” Big Bunso said. So we joined their school’s family fun run. After all, I told them to get themselves involved in sports.
I also find that the family that runs together, stays fit together. It was our first fun run as a family. It was both enjoying and rewarding. We even brought home some raffle prizes!
Congratulations, boys! You very well deserve the recognition as all of you gave your best for the school year 2013-2014. We, your parents, are so blessed to have you as our children.
Congratulations, Big Bunso
April 1, 2014
It has always been your perseverance and your belief in your ability that lead you to your success. You always walk that extra mile and so sweet of you to always think of your mama as your inspiration.
Thank you for your dedication to learn more.
Congratulations, Second son
March 31, 2014
I like this quote.
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.
I am certainly not belittling my son. Never will I do that. I just find the power of the force working alongside my boy that he is able to reach his goals. More than good luck though, he truly and deeply works hard to be at his place. He is his class’ first honors and recipient of six academic excellence awards.
March 27, 2014
I thank the Lord for giving us a responsible Firstborn. He excels in class, and just this Wednesday he got a bronze medal for being Grade Five’s top three. He also brought home a Best in Civics award.
I often tell myself that should Firstborn focus more on his studies, he would have been his class’ first honors. He has the ability to be one. He has such an analytical mind. He uses his imagination to run through how some things may play out. He has the focus if he wants to. It is just that most of the time, he prefers to chill out.
And then, when we went on stage to receive his recognition, I had my realization. I don’t know if it’s too late for me to have that realization but still, I’m happy that I was able to recognize a fact about my son.
Firstborn is one carefree person. He is full of love and happiness. I need not push him too hard as he might have the tendency to rebel or meet neither success nor happiness. He is moved by his love and of that interests him. He needs not absorb everything as this might defeat his true identity.
I’ve seen how he reacted when he had those medals. He was very happy.. and proud! He glanced back at me so he could remember my smile. And he couldn’t wait to show to his papa his medals. Because it has always been love and happiness that push him to act.
As for this mother, I am now at ease to know that my Firstborn is one playful son with great intelligence. I am confident that with all these achievements, he will be able to know his strengths and realize who he is becoming through the process.
Firstborn was tasked by his Civics teacher to be her student teacher for her grade 5 and 6 students last February 14.
He relayed to me that his Civics teacher asked him to make a lesson plan.
He went home jubilant that day. His Civics teacher commended him of his excellent teaching skills and exciting lesson plan. He even showed to me some of the students’ artworks. He asked his class to do an artwork about their understanding of Valentine’s Day. And very intriguing indeed how 11- and 12-year-old kids regard Valentine’s Day.
Our family has been so blessed. My three boys got academic recognitions from school. Even the husband passed his Real Estat Broker Lisensure Examination that same month.
Academic Recognition for Bunso
Bunso has successfully completed the casa curriculum prescribed for Casa level by the Department of Education. Aside from his diploma, he also graduated fifth honors. He was his class’ best in English and best in Writing as well. Teacher Luz also commended bunso’s diligence and gave him the most industrious award.
Academic Recognition for Second Son
Second son had his share of moments when he repeatedly went us and down the stage. He received a number of awards on his Recognition Day.
He placed second honors. He bagged two academic recognitions – Best in English and Best in Mathematics. And aside from his scholastic achievements, he also received the following recognitions: most behaved, most active, most responsible, most honest, and most obedient.
The school also commended him for representing the Montessori on the Battle of the Brains for the primary level.
Real Estate Broker Licensure Exam
Husband passed this March’s Real Estate Broker licensure exam.
Academic Recognition for Firstborn
Firstborn son got three medals for the following achievements:
1. Top three of his class.
2. Sn excellence awardee for Best in Music.
3 A special award for getting the highest increase in general average for the school year 2011-2012.
I truly thank God for giving me a husband who has a career that can support his family so I may be able to stay home and look after our boys.
And I thank Him again for giving us three healthiest, most loving and beautiful, and the smartest children in the whole world.