Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Often, they say we learn to appreciate a person if that individual is far from us. Having experienced that today, I learned of something far beyond loving and missing. I realized my life’s purpose.
This might have been my life without the boys. Perhaps, shopping and eating out every day just to kill time before going to an empty house to sleep and wake up again for tomorrow.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
My second night without the boys in the house; and I miss them terribly.
Sometimes, I would feel so restless. I would entertain the thought of me being single just like my friends who are living a single blessedness life. Cleaning the clutter, washing dishes, preparing three meals and snacks in a day, and washing a load of laundry are but my never-ending duties at home. Also, I always have to rush home to look after my boys, giving me so little time for myself.
That’s my life or so I thought. I allowed myself to be dictated by the chaos of life and work that I would feel I have been put through the spin cycle of a washing machine. Though I believe hope is a good thing and no good thing ever dies, I welcome the thought that hope burdens me more.
Again, that was the kind of life I was living until I had my me time today and realized what I truly have. Life may be complicated and time may be not cooperative in a way, but I will not exchange the complication of my life for anything in the world. I may sacrifice my time and resources for my family — if you would call it that way — but everything is positively rewarded. The dictionary might define some of my acts as sacrifices that may go far beyond what is beyond, but those sacrifices are all voluntarily and lovingly accepted.
My kids are all on vacation with their father today. I would want to join them but the demand of work decides that I be left home. And now that we are temporarily parted, I feel the absence… the incompleteness.
With my boys nowhere beside me, I cannot sleep. Though the silence of the night is just too beautiful, I am not that tired to go to bed. No more sink with loads of dirty dishes to wash and toys and books lying on the floor to keep before I hit the bed.
Lesson learned: learn to appreciate what you have before time makes you appreciate what you had.
Written last October 30, 2014. Reposted so as to remind this momi of that feeling when her boys were not by her side. Sometimes, we tend to forget the lessons learned from the past. We need to be reminded every now and then.